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Tastiest Doom Demons

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Sometimes, poor Doomguy doesn't really have a choice. In some places, like hellish otherworldy voids and the like, there is really only one choice to fill his stomach up... But hey, who knows, perhaps some of the demon meat is really tasty! From just looking at it, where are my opinions on how good of a snack they look:

-former humans: wouldn't eat even if you paid me, for pretty obvious reasons;

-imps: mediocre taste, would only eat if there's nothing better;

-pinkies and spectres: very good taste! And lots of meat to eat from a single demon too. Spectre meat would also really be a nice novelty... Solid food you can see through is pretty cool!

-hell knights and barons: another good tastin' bunch. I can imagine barons to be more of the deluxe option;

-revenants: sorry, do they even have meat at all?;

-mancubi: very fatty meat, not much appeal to me at all;

-arachnotron and mastermind: eating brains is pretty gross... Can't imagine myself liking the texture;

-cacos: pretty decent taste;

-pain elementals: lots of bones and in general inedible stuff, because of lost souls and the structures inside that allow to create them. The meat itself is good though;

-arch-viles: very tender and tasty! One of my favorites;

-cybie: the king of all demon cuisine! Absolutely unparalleled in quality. Just be sure not to accidently break your teeth biting the rocket launcher!

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Posted (edited)

Cybie is the most obvious choice. I mean look at that sweet, meaty... ASS!

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20 minutes ago, thiccyosh said:

Cybie is the most obvious choice. I mean look at that sweet, meaty... ASS!

True

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10 minutes ago, Sonikkumania said:

A Pinky burger with fries deep fried in Mancubus grease, Caco blood for drink.

 

I often joke about making Pinky burgers when I'm cutting the fuckers up with a chainsaw. I think it's instinctual to a degree because they're pink, so I immediately think of pigs and thus think about bacon and such. :^P

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Just now, Biodegradable said:

 

I often joke about making Pinky burgers when I'm cutting the fuckers up with a chainsaw. I think it's instinctual to a degree because they're pink, so I immediately think of pigs and thus think about bacon and such. :^P

I always thought they were pigs, too.

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Posted (edited)

What about the bunny meat? They re delicious.

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I'm thinking Arachnotron brain is probably quite the delicacy. Just be careful not to hit the wires with the fork.

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Majin said:

 

2df.jpg

doomguy after a slaughtermap

 

Wrong thread, "Which actor should play Doomguy?" is that way ->

 

Also funny cause at first I thought the heart icon was the likes, only then I realized it's their cholesterol index.

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Posted (edited)

I have notes from my own culinary experimentation with the various foes

 

Imp: Pretty good, a bit gamey

Pinky: Excellent! Nice and juicy

Former human: Caused violent food poisoning, that's what I get for eating rotting meat I guess

Cacodemon: Similar to abalone, tough and rubbery but good when stir-fried in that inky cacodemon blood

Lost soul: Fun one, get them to bite at other demons and then extract the already-cooked, bitten-off bits of meat inside the flaming skull for a special delicacy

Baron of Hell: Real good and steaky

Hell knight: Similar to Baron, maybe a bit more muttony though

Revenant: There's some shreds of meat on here, but I'm p sure the crows have already gotten to most of these

Arch-vile: Tough and not much meat to begin with

Arachnotron: Real tender! But avoid if you're not a fan of offal

Mancubus: Take some big strips of belly and barbecue it with some chili paste, that's the stuff.  Also can be rendered into soap and cosmetics quite profitably

Pain elemental: Extremely difficult to prepare right, and dry because they do not appear to have blood.  Tastes like well-done steak even when taken raw, quite unique

Cyberdemon: Many otherwise-delicious cuts are rendered inedible by the wires and cables that permeate most of the animal, though the most talented of chefs can slow-cook the meat off anyway

Spider Mastermind: Smoky

Wolfenstein SS: Tastes like sauerkraut and brats, good if very low on health

Commander Keen: No

Icon of Sin: You can feed an entire city with the meat on this thing, it's actually quite tender since the beast just lies there with its head in a wall all day.  Haven't found a good culinary use for the gamedev's head inside the brain yet

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I wonder how the Gorenest hell growth tastes. Probably tough and gamey.

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i remember reading in one of the countless fan-made Doom lore books, that Cacodemons have a hard outer shell of armor. once you strip that away, you basically have bone-in ribeye steaks just waiting to be cooked over Hellfire.

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You could probably make a mod out of this. Remove all the health packs and you only get health back from kills. Kill a pinky and it turns into a bacon sandwich kinda like minecraft.The Caco's got to be taco though.

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Demon meat is good and all, but what about one of these bad boys: doom-health-bonus.png.454b32352ed4eb4f676ef37d487a9c51.png

 

Would it go well with the meats? You guys think it tastes refreshing, or sugary? Maybe it tastes like grape soda, that would be sick.

(probably tastes like medicine, gross)

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49 minutes ago, Savarin said:

Demon meat is good and all, but what about one of these bad boys: doom-health-bonus.png.454b32352ed4eb4f676ef37d487a9c51.png

 

Would it go well with the meats? You guys think it tastes refreshing, or sugary? Maybe it tastes like grape soda, that would be sick.

(probably tastes like medicine, gross)

I tried drinking one of those because I found one in an alley somewhere. Doesn't taste good, liquid is fizzy and weird tasting and when I poured it out it was yellow. Wouldn't recommend.

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images.jpeg

eating a pain elemental right out of the teletrap out of spite.

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Posted (edited)

Demons are best eaten while they're still alive and kicking, and I get off on the pain they experience while I slurp on their guts. Grab a berserk pack and splatter some hellion against the wall and watch while I crawl around in a skintight leather suit sucking up chunks of gore from the unsanitary surfaces of a UAC military base. Everybody is talking about the big juicy ass of the Cyberdemon, but it's overrated once your taste has matured. What you really want to do is pull out his tubing and use it like a straw to suck out his insides. I eat SS Troops for breakfast while their dogs watch, then I use their primitive weapons to blow big chunks through the mouldy flesh of whatever dinner is in front of me. The best thing about killing things in Hell is the fact that everything is already cooked by the time it falls out of a body and onto the ground, but I perfer most things raw. Arachnoham is nice, but if I'm being honest it doesn't compare to sticking a hook into the brain of one of those ugly bastards and hanging it from the ceiling while I use crude machinery to bust up its legs like a lobster while its still alive and screaming at me. There's a lot of gooey, organic material hidden within the metal shell - meat dripping with some unknown acid that is easy to scoop out with a spoon. Cacodemon tastes good, the sludge inside one has a pleasant aroma. I have one that I keep in a barn, tied to a post with ropes around its horns. It always tries to get away, and sometimes it will pull really hard and rip off a horn or two - good for me since I've learned to enjoy the taste of the juice that spills from its pathetic red meatshell into the buckets I have positioned under it. I usually mix this slime with some baron eyeballs until it becomes a nice stew, then I add some minced Archie liver and stuff it into the corpse of a chaingunner for Christmas dinner. The legs of a Pinkie make for nice drumsticks once they're dipped in Baron Bile - which is made from their dung, which takes on a pleasing form some time around late August.

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Pinkies - yes, i like pork.

Cyberdemon - no, i don't like beef.

Barons and knights - i didn't try mutton yet so i'm unsure if i'd like it.

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Posted (edited)

It's actually a very common misconception that Doomguy needs to eat demons to be able to survive. VAC scientists have done extensive research on the nutrition of common demonic artifacts like Mega- and Soulspheres and found out that you can get basically everything your body needs from Torch Tress, Big Trees and the aforementioned spheres. In the worst case, the medkits scattered around should contain supplements to keep you healthy for some time.
I would honestly advise against eating demons, since there have been cases recorded in which their blood let to third-degree burns.

Edit: I don't hate fun, you can eat the Cybee's ass all you want!

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Ozcar said:

What if... we eat doomguy? 

 

Soulspheres are former doomguys, processed and packaged  for your convenience.

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10 hours ago, Majin said:

doomguy after a slaughtermap

IM CALLING CORPORTATE! EEEEEEEEEEE.

 

Also Mancubi burgers would be mighty fine.

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