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Dusty_Rhodes

Let's talk about your week

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Hey all, Dusty here

 

While sitting in the midst of a five - day - long - and - counting (is that how you use dashes correctly?) WiFi outage, I'm stuck using my phone data. I'm itching to upload the current version of Community Trunk but my phone's hotspot isn't willing to cooperate. So here I sit, late at night, listening to some laid back music, thinking, "I wonder what the fine folks of Doomworld are up to?" I hope this thread will be for legitimate casual conversation, ie: not a case of "this post could have been a status update." I get it isn't nearly as good as the discussion you see from Baja Blast and I know my buddy Red will find an older thread I could've bumped instead (I looked, I swear!) but I like to vent things and here others do the same. 

So anyway, my week:

 

I already mentioned the WiFi thing, it's genuinely unfortunate. I feel a little pathetic to have to rely so much on such a first world comfort, but it is difficult to get much done. Otherwise, it's been a regular week. Preparing a few things for a get together later this month for my birthday has kept me busy. My parents' and grandparents' wedding anniversaries are coming up too. Practicing guitar has taken up more of my free time than usual as well. It is always satisfying to feel real growth in a skill, whether or not it's "practical". I've been playing for five years consistently and I feel like I've improved just a bit more every time I pick up my Fender Jazzmaster. For my fellow guitar nerds, it's a Mexican Player Series with 13 gauge Ernie Ball strings being ran through a Roland JC40. I've been stereotyped as an indie head or shoegaze guy but I listen to and play neither genre. I also went to a chili party with a lot of friends and family tonight, which was quite nice. It felt good to relax and engage with people I hadn't seen in a while. 

 

 

What about you, how was your week and what did you do? 

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Hi, glad to hear your week was cool.

 

We had a band session this week as well, without bass guitar though. Tried to get a hang on a new song which was quite simple Blues rock song.

Making some planning regarding my new Doom 2 TC. I've found a nice set of textures and flats so far but I still need more just in case. Also it's my first mod to utilize ZScript instead of DECORATE so it's been more about learning so far. Also I have to do some pixel editing regarding few mod classes.

 

It's getting colder every day and first snow will soon come.

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I've noticed I'm no longer capable of answering the question, "So how was your week?" Short (and long-term) memory has reached a point of inefficiency that I essentially wake up with a blank slate each morning. One thing I do distinctly recall is that yesterday, my ability to focus went so completely out the window that I can't seem to complete a thought easily. It's a bit of a nightmare at the moment. 

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6 hours ago, Sonikkumania said:

 

It's getting colder every day and first snow will soon come.

That's something that I'm really looking forward to. I love the snow and always have. 

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17 hours ago, Dusty_Rhodes said:

I know my buddy Red will find an older thread I could've bumped instead (I looked, I swear!) but I like to vent things and here others do the same.

This thread could have been a status update.

 

 

17 hours ago, Dusty_Rhodes said:

What about you, how was your week and what did you do? 

Celebrated my birthday yesterday, which is somewhat a rare occurence. I don't like celebrating my own birthday, but i love celebrating others. With a small group of friends, we had dinner and it was great being surrounded by geniune people who understand you for being you and that's worth a lot in this weird world.

 

Today visited my niece and her friend's birthday. Workwise, it has been rough. Two weeks ago the care alert system of the hospital i work at failed in really unforseen ways (As in: It didn't actually crash, it just stopped submitting data for a full 5 mins) whereas in that 5 mins of downtime a CPR alert was issued.

 

The resuscitation team never arrived. So a patient died. Admittely, this was an older fella on the Cardiac Care Unit with one hand on Grim Reaper's shoulders. But the system should have worked end off.

 

I was able to fix it with the company the next day, and its such a bizarre solution that i could only ascribe it as a oversight. This kind of alert is pushed in manually into a text field on a PC. Apparently when you do a specific key combination, you can insert a invisible white line inside that text field. This is interpreted by the system as a message - The actual alert text never gets sent - On the back end you see this blank row next to the message.

The kicker is, the alert was issued twice - Once with a incorrect text and once corrected. To do this correction, you actually have to manipulate the cursor and jump to a different place in the text. The person who did this is clever enough to do key combinations.

 

She likely, blissfully and unaware, added a blank line in that text field, causing the error.

 

I was heard by a commission last week about this issue. They were quite amazed that i was able to dial the issue back to that specific issue because it isn't something you would first think of. By thinking like a regular user, i was able to not only cause the error - But it wsa also repeatable by the company on a second off-the-grid test system.

 

But the event did take some wind out of me and it took me a few days to give it a place. Alas, that's what a service clerk with specific specializations does.

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Generally cold and bog-standard, overall, not great, not horrible. Did visit my mom in a care center though, she's doing well which is nice. Final thought: Meh.

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Situation normal, all fucked up ... I wanted to actually talk about it, but there's literally nothing positive to say. And if I say the truth, I'll look like the neurotic psychopath that I am. Besides I'm not the only person who has problems ... IRL affects almost everyone as of late ... I'm supposed to suck it up ... And it ain't nobody's problem if I can't ... Right, that's enough of that.
 

14 minutes ago, Redneckerz said:

-snip-


Not going to wish you your birthday, considering. I'm similar. Absolutely hate my own birthday. And I actually hide in a hole, kill my phone and disable internet on that damned day ...

As for your job ... Rough. Probably less so than the EMTs, Nurses and Doctors directly involved with the patient themselves. But still, rough. One gets used to it. Normalizes it. Gets desensitized. But there's only so much a human mind can take. It does come back eventually ... Well. Hope you're getting your R&R. Kill some demons. Escapism's a valorous thing.

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Spent the last 2 weeks or so in recovery. Went to a big event where I camped before that and immediately after during more or less my recovery from being exhausted that whole week I had 2 wisdom teeth pulled. Shortly after I got a cold except that cold ended up being covid again so it was an aggressively bad one. Havent been able to leave the house at all cause of that, so I've been alone the whole time so that has sucked. Thankfully it's been a few days after I've tested negative for covid so that has thoroughly passed. Ready to do something now next time something comes up in the swordfightng group (to summarize it shortly) I'm in, but it's also more or less our break month so that wont be much. So I'm just here kinda like, itching to do something but there's not a whole lot to do.

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I got a job and performed the first proper week of 9-5 eight-hour-shift work. It's good.

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Monday to Thursday I lifted weights and drew textures for my game. On Friday I went to a bar to play eight-ball with some people. Was fun playing. When just about to leave, someone comes talking to me and asks me questions about being trans and what kind of people asexuals are and also wanted some headpats from me. Later same night a friend comes over and we watch Salatut Elämät. On Saturday I was tired and had a hangover. On Sunday I was just being lazy.

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Same exact thing as last week and the week before - just the way I like it. I've always been a creature of habit, changes in routine deeply affect me in a negative way. An ex of mine said I'm the kind of person who could spend their life staring at a white wall and be perfectly happy. He was not wrong.

 

I worked my shifts, got a production bonus. Read cuddled up with my four dogs, learnt some MIDI, took care of the garden, astrology and tarot reading. Saturday I have to go to Lucca, which I'm less than thrilled about, but it's for an award so I'm supposed to be happy, I guess.

 

I wonder if my garden, my dogs and my ghosts miss me when I'm not there. 

Edited by Thelokk

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My week was alright as best as one can be with mental health issues my YouTube been going good got few subs last week people seem to be enjoying my Doom content which give me positive hope my discord server keeps me sane with the amazing people i got there it been a good week 

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My weeks are usually the same. I have a job in finance industry, as an actuary, and after work I’m usually too lazy to do anything. I play a little Doom, I read and write and struggle with faith that I could become a semi-professional author. Uneventful lifestyle doesn’t help there.

 

Weekend was special, I drove to see my mother some 400 kilometers to the west coast, she had trouble with Internet connection I wasn’t able to help her fix herself. On sunday I drove back, but caught fever during the drive, and now I’m on a sick leave. I very rarely need to stay home, I usually suffer my colds on weekends.

 

This week I was supposed to visit my god-childs birthday (assuming it is held) and Helsinki book fair to which I got a couple of free tickets from my favourite bookshop, but it remains to be seen whether I can attend :(

Edited by RHhe82

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55 minutes ago, Thelokk said:

 Saturday I have to go to Lucca, which I'm less than thrilled about, but it's for an award so I'm supposed to be happy, I guess.


Ooh, what sort of award, if I may ask? (No need to answer unless you want to, of course; I don’t want anyone to reveal their real life persona by accident).

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5 minutes ago, RHhe82 said:


Ooh, what sort of award, if I may ask? (No need to answer unless you want to, of course; I don’t want anyone to reveal their real life persona by accident).

 

A writing award. A decently big deal, on a national level and in the genre. No Bram Stoker Award yet I'm afraid.

 

Dreading the fair's crowds mostly. Over 200,000 people expected lol gonna be a mess. 

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52 minutes ago, RHhe82 said:

 

This week I was supposed to visit my god-childs birthday (assuming it is held) and Helsinki book fair to which I got a couple of free tickets from my favourite bookshop, but it remains to be seen whether I can attend :(

Have you ever heard of that event in Lahti where they give books for free ? It was some event in the Exhibition hall but I can't remember the name.

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I have rekindled my beliefs. This week is going better than I thought, after all. I am still capable of smiling. Of joking. Of trolling. Sounds silly, I know, but it's important. I've watched my family tear itself apart due to war. My mother is Russian. Her husband is Ukrainian. My little brother is russian. One of my closest ex-girlfriends is Ukrainian. I've watched the people dearest to me come to blows. Mind you, it's not the first time. Me and my mother's husband ... We have an understanding. When I was 16, he raised his hands on her. And I responded. He was drunk. I was not. I methodically hurt him. And I let him know: next time this happens, I'm going to break your fingers and wrists. Don't swing your pathetic arms. Don't yell and scream. Don't show off a blade. Because there where you're trying to terrorize others ... I will not terrorize. I will kill. If you want to an enemy ... I will destroy you, even if it costs me my life. I will destroy you, or die trying. Yet this time, I stood powerless. As I watched them drown in hatred and ignorance, I watched the civilians fight each other for the sake of their kings. And I could do nothing.

There is no "winner" in war. There is no right side. And I, am powerless. I can not save anyone. Yet ... Now I remember. I remember who I am. I remember where I come from. I remember what I did. I'm not a good guy. I am evil. But see. I'm lawful evil. I could put a boot to your throat, yet that is unjust. For I myself became what I so loathe. I'm not a badass. I'm not strong. I'm not fast. Not powerful nor intelligent. I simply know what I want. And unlike most, I do not want to submit others to my will. Be it by blackmail, violence or threats ... I do not need this. I do not fight. I see no point in that. I am but a coward. I do not fight. I kill. I cheat. I am the dagger in your back when you let your guard down. And yet ... I am reminded once more, of why I do this. I may be a crook and an asshole ... Yet, so long as you oppose the very same tyranny which gave birth to me ... We are on the same side. All empires fall. Regardless of morals or intentions. All men die, regardless of health or beliefs.

Yet one thing does not change. Each of us has one simple objective. Survive. I stand humbled, to be reminded of the realities of life in such a manner. It does not matter who likes or hates whom. The truth is, all of us die if we do not learn to coexist. We will destroy each other. No soldier comes back from war unwounded. And I am surprised to say ... Your wounds. They look an awful lot like mine. Your sorrows and grievances. I do not feel them, yet, we are united by them. Perhaps there is yet hope. Perhaps, I was wrong, as I so often am. Thankyou, for reminding me of my place. Thankyou for punishing me for my complacency. Now then, embrace me, my dear enemy. For where we're going, there is no difference between enemy and ally. The dead don't pick sides. And neither do we.

(DAMN I'm on a roll. Full disclaimer, I'm practicing my theatrical skills. I used to be a writer and a GM for Shadowrun and Cyberpunk 2020 (tabletop) games. So I'm practising my storytelling skills. I AM insane but not quite as delusional.)

EDIT: Okay, I'm done. Sorry. I have a weird sense of humor. Had my fun. Time to go for a beer. Still. Half of the above is true. I'll let you guess which half, mostly because I really shouldn't be complaining about it. But it's really hard not to lash out. I make fun of it. I make theatrics of it ... But it does genuinely hurt. I'm a man without a country. Yet I have family. I have people who belong to me on both sides. And I can do absolutely nothing about it ... It's frustrating. So please. If you may. Forgive me for my antics. It's how I pass my nerves. I'll behave from now on. Promise.

Edited by CFWMagic

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7 minutes ago, Sonikkumania said:

Have you ever heard of that event in Lahti where they give books for free ? It was some event in the Exhibition hall but I can't remember the name.


I have heard about it, but I’ve never attended it. I think it’s organised by Finlandia Kirja (which I guess is the biggest second-hand Internet bookshop), at least the event is advertised on their home page. It’s held next week, it seems!

 

(I think I always confuse this with another book hall event; In Myllykoski, near Kotka, there is a big hall that’s covered in books, but I guess they’re not selling them. I visited the place in summer 2021 in a small-scale book fair).

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@CFWMagic I hope the war ends but there is no end in sight as of now. Ordinary people, relatives even are put to kill each other and why? I am in no position to say who is responsible for the first crime, so I don't know anymore. The cliche answer, the rich getting rich, might be the most sophisticated answer.

 

I have no problem towards any Russians or Ukraineans. As of now.

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1 minute ago, Sonikkumania said:

@CFWMagic I hope the war ends but there is no end in sight as of now. Ordinary people, relatives even are put to kill each other and why? I am in no position to say who is responsible for the first crime, so I don't know anymore. The cliche answer, the rich getting rich, might be the most sophisticated answer.

 

I have no problem towards any Russians or Ukraineans. As of now.


Thankyou, for the kind words. The situation truly is complicated, if we're going to be serious about it. Yet, it's origin is simple. The war in Ukraine ... It's the cold war. The very same war which was supposed to happen 80 years ago. Soviet Union, against NATO. What most people don't realize, is that Russia hasn't changed since 1945. Unlike Germany, who had it's SS properly dismantled, exposed and judged ... The Russian NKVD was the "victor". Never had to pay for it's crimes. Never was dismantled. NKVD became KGB. KGB became FSB. And Putin just so happens to be FSB ...

I'm going to bite my tongue here and avoid any further conspiracy theories. Yet, I want you to think upon one simple fact ... The war that is happening right now ... It's the war of old men, originating from so many decades ago. Yet the men and women who fight this war are younger still than the Russian federation. Many of the soldiers on both sides ... They do not even understand what NATO or Warsaw Pact is. Some do not even understand what those organizations are at all. Yet ... Our old, senile leaders are so willing to sacrifice the younger generation for long dead ideals and empires ...

It is honestly disgusting and distressing. I complain here because ... Well ... It's hard. It really is. I know nobody can help. I know it's nobody else's business. Yet ... What am I supposed to do? Watch it happen quietly? ... I try. And most of the time, I keep my mouth shut. I isolate. I shut the hell up.  But that doesn't solve the problem, now does it ... I'm so tired of watching it. Yet I know better than to panic, and cry. If only because crying has never saved anyone ...

Anyway. Enough. I've made an asshole of myself for quite some time now. Thankyou for hearing me out.

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13 hours ago, CFWMagic said:

As for your job ... Rough. Probably less so than the EMTs, Nurses and Doctors directly involved with the patient themselves. But still, rough. One gets used to it. Normalizes it. Gets desensitized. But there's only so much a human mind can take.

As a former EMR I had to work myself into a mind set to sort of distance myself emotionally. I ended up looking at patients more as animals than people. It allowed me to stay focused and provide better care but it probably wasn't healthy. My teacher was an EMT for nearly thirty years and had dealt with an incredible amount of horrific things. He was a very calm and stoic guy. One day a young woman was hit by a train and he was first on scene. He had dealt with equally terrible things many times before but that was what finally broke him. He had to resign, was diagnosed with PTSD, has bad nightmares whenever he sleeps and just has a hard time carrying on with life. It's sad that someone who helped so many is left in that state.

 

1 minute ago, CFWMagic said:


Thankyou, for the kind words. The situation truly is complicated, if we're going to be serious about it. Yet, it's origin is simple. The war in Ukraine ... It's the cold war. The very same war which was supposed to happen 80 years ago. Soviet Union, against NATO. 

A war that sadly most of the world had convinced itself to have ended. Mankind repeating the same mistakes.

 

As for my week I've been missing work due to being ill so I've had too much free time without the health to do anything remotely productive, which is driving me crazy.  Going to a doctor today so hopefully they can help. I expect my workplace to be falling apart at this point as it usually does in my absence. Other than that it's been uneventful. I guess I did see a bear in my yard two nights ago when I went outside for a cigarette past dark so that's something I guess. Only saw it's eyes in the dark and heard it snorting. A small black bear judging from the sound.

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@CFWMagic I don't think you're an asshole, your output is quite similar on how I view things. It's way too complicated for us ordinary people. There's so many lies hidden behind the curtains that possible future generations will read from history books. Like we now.

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24 minutes ago, StodgyAyatollah said:

    21 minutes ago, StodgyAyatollah said:

    As a former EMR I had to work myself into a mind set to sort of distance myself emotionally. I ended up looking at patients more as animals than people. It allowed me to stay focused and provide better care but it probably wasn't healthy. My teacher was an EMT for nearly thirty years and had dealt with an incredible amount of horrific things. He was a very calm and stoic guy. One day a young woman was hit by a train and he was first on scene. He had dealt with equally terrible things many times before but that was what finally broke him. He had to resign, was diagnosed with PTSD, has bad nightmares whenever he sleeps and just has a hard time carrying on with life. It's sad that someone who helped so many is left in that state.


    A war that sadly most of the world had convinced itself to have ended. Mankind repeating the same mistakes.


    As for my week I've been missing work due to being ill so I've had too much free time without the health to do anything remotely productive, which is driving me crazy.  Going to a doctor today so hopefully they can help. I expect my workplace to be falling apart at this point as it usually does in my absence. Other than that it's been uneventful. I guess I did see a bear in my yard two nights ago when I went outside for a cigarette past dark so that's something I guess. Only saw it's eyes in the dark and heard it snorting. A small black bear judging from the sound.

 

You broke me. I refuse to discuss this topic further. Because I know exactly what you mean. Please. Not another word on the subject. I'm truly done. Before I truly lose my mind.

Anyway ... Bear ... Animals ... Yeah. Weird thing is, I don't like animals. Yet animals like me. Mostly because ... Well. I can't bring myself to truly hate that which has done me no wrong. And I'm the kind of person who will help those who I personally dislike, if nothing else, then out of my own pride. Because I like to style myself as "morally superior" or whatever ...

Or, if I'm going to be more honest and less edgy ... Well. I really took the mantra of "treat others as you want to be treated" to heart. Doesn't matter how I personally feel. I must show respect to life other than myself. Might be partly out of honor, sure but ... Part of it is Karma. If I treat people that I hate with utmost respect, regardless of my own bias ... Somehow, it makes me believe that people who unjustly hate me will treat me with the same sort of attitude. Maybe I'm a hippie or something.

I guess, ultimately it means, because I treat animals with respect, so does animal life treat me with respect. It's just that ... Well. I'm not used to it working quite like that. Maybe I should spend more time in nature. And less time around humanity.
 

@Sonikkumania > I don't know if we'll have history books left, the way we're going now. But. Defeatism isn't helping. Yet still, the old adage stands strong. Those who do not read history, are bound to repeat the same mistakes. Those who DO read history, are bound to watch those who don't repeat the same mistakes. I'm just shocked that that's all that is. I'm shocked by my own ineptitude. Maybe I'm still a naive child in my head despite being over 30 ... Yet still. It's hard to believe that everything I have to offer is worth less than a petty penny that is gained by warmongers, politicians and governors ...

And I'm not even left wing. I don't give a heck about about capitalism, communism or whatever other economical and political system humanity can come up with. It's never been about that for me. I just want to see the people I love lead a good life. And I'm willing to give a lot to see that. I'm willing to even give my own life. The problem is, my life is worth nothing when compared to the fucking profits that these people get ... The most expensive thing I can give ... Is worth nothing.

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3 hours ago, Sonikkumania said:

Ootko suomalainen ?

Olen suomalainen... *alkaa laulaa* ok, I haven't ever sung that song.

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@Redneckerz happy birthday mate, glad you celebrated in what I consider the proper way. Sounds like work was rough though, sorry to hear it. I can't imagine what's like working in a hospital.

 

16 hours ago, HeatedChocolate said:

Generally cold and bog-standard, overall, not great, not horrible. Did visit my mom in a care center though, she's doing well which is nice. Final thought: Meh.

Well glad your mom is alright. I think it's also important to have "meh" weeks. Really great ones and really terrible ones would have nothing to be measured by. To grow, we kinda have to experience all three. Whenever I'm bored out of my mind by mundanity I keep that in sight and realize it's a good thing boredom exists. 

 

15 hours ago, CFWMagic said:


As for your job ... Rough. Probably less so than the EMTs, Nurses and Doctors directly involved with the patient themselves. But still, rough. One gets used to it. Normalizes it. Gets desensitized. But there's only so much a human mind can take. It does come back eventually ... Well. Hope you're getting your R&R. Kill some demons. Escapism's a valorous thing.

Ditto 

 

12 hours ago, Chezza said:

No complaints, my week has been good.

Glad to hear it.

 

12 hours ago, BaileyTW said:

Spent the last 2 weeks or so in recovery. Went to a big event where I camped before that and immediately after during more or less my recovery from being exhausted that whole week I had 2 wisdom teeth pulled. Shortly after I got a cold except that cold ended up being covid again so it was an aggressively bad one. Havent been able to leave the house at all cause of that, so I've been alone the whole time so that has sucked. Thankfully it's been a few days after I've tested negative for covid so that has thoroughly passed. Ready to do something now next time something comes up in the swordfightng group (to summarize it shortly) I'm in, but it's also more or less our break month so that wont be much. So I'm just here kinda like, itching to do something but there's not a whole lot to do.

Yeah I got a dental xray a while back and I'm waiting for my wisdom teeth to rear their ugly head. Mine are growing in completely sideways. Glad you're feeling better. 

11 hours ago, act said:

I got a job and performed the first proper week of 9-5 eight-hour-shift work. It's good.

Hey good for you mate! 9-5 isn't glamorous, but it's a good thing to get independent. Best of luck to you.

3 hours ago, Thelokk said:

Same exact thing as last week and the week before - just the way I like it. I've always been a creature of habit, changes in routine deeply affect me in a negative way. An ex of mine said I'm the kind of person who could spend their life staring at a white wall and be perfectly happy. He was not wrong.

 

I worked my shifts, got a production bonus. Read cuddled up with my four dogs, learnt some MIDI, took care of the garden, astrology and tarot reading. Saturday I have to go to Lucca, which I'm less than thrilled about, but it's for an award so I'm supposed to be happy, I guess.

 

I wonder if my garden, my dogs and my ghosts miss me when I'm not there. 

I feel that with habits. I like a little bit of variety but I do get enjoyment from sticking to a routine. Especially if that routine was one started by me for me. I grew up sharing a room and had lots of siblings, usually routines formed out of necessity, which led to me resenting them. Now I'm older and I love my habits. Also love my dogs as well!

3 hours ago, Nightmare2989 said:

My week was alright as best as one can be with mental health issues my YouTube been going good got few subs last week people seem to be enjoying my Doom content which give me positive hope my discord server keeps me sane with the amazing people i got there it been a good week 

Glad to here about your YouTube channel. Keep your chin up!

 

As for me, WiFi is still down but I'm doing alright. I've opened the windows in my house so the cool Autumn breeze is waiting for me there. It's all very comfy, I love October.

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@Dusty_Rhodes Sorry to hear about the Wi-Fi mate hopefully it gets sorted out and agree autumn is my fav type of the season especially October spooky season and thank you for kind word mate got some motivation to map a again so that a plus

 

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Is all good, I can't complain if i'm honest, kinda tiring cuz university, but is all good, I have done my best and it is going quite well.

 

I committed the sin and every second I regret returning to league of legends after 1 year, but other than that, everything is fine.

 

Hope everyone who reads this have a great week too :)

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