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coderamen

What is the funniest thing you have read online?

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5 hours ago, Clippy said:

Look up Haribo sugar free gummy bear reviews 

 

First time I read some of these I laughed my ass off crying 

 

Ppl get really creative when dying on toilets 

 

https://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/2755/The-Reviews-For-These-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears-Will-Have-You-In-Tears-Laughing 

 

Might try some to get inspired for mapping 

LMAO I love it. Thanks for that.

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6 hours ago, Clippy said:

Look up Haribo sugar free gummy bear reviews 

 

 

Yeah that's a classic.

 

Been many funny things over the years but one I will always remember is an interview with Bruce Guthro, who became the lead singer of one of my favourite bands Runrig from Scotland after their first singer left, for all reasons, to go into politics. It's fresh in my mind as he sadly passed away recently due to cancer. The manager's son found him when he was on holiday in Canada so they called him over to Scotland. They did one of the new songs, and there was as Bruce put it, that awkward post audition silence. So he looked to the left and right at them and said "You guys suck". Jaws dropped, then they all burst out laughing. The manager put two thumbs in the air and declared "That's our boy!". They carried on for another 20 years. I was laughing about that for the rest of the day I read it, and it still makes me chuckle 20+ years later to think of it.

Edited by Murdoch

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I don't know if lurkers are allowed to see it, but Something Awful's Comedy Goldmine speaks for itself. I still remember the two threads I saw there: one about a truly awful roommate who repeatedly shit in the bathtub and another about a garbage truck that beat a ricer in a race.

 

There was a thread on Fark where someone posted a picture of his Firefox tabs and someone else realized one tab led to a furry art site. Since this was during the height of furry hate, that person got so, so much shit for it. Let it be a lesson to be careful what you show people online and off.

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53 minutes ago, Chow Yun Thin said:

garbage truck that beat a ricer in a race

As a local ricer I find this hilarious and sad
Someone in a Chevy Equinox smoked me in my civic, I was laughing because it was fun but also crying inside because I lost to a soccer mom SUV.

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11 hours ago, Clippy said:

Look up Haribo sugar free gummy bear reviews 

 

First time I read some of these I laughed my ass off crying 

 

Ppl get really creative when dying on toilets 

 

https://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/2755/The-Reviews-For-These-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears-Will-Have-You-In-Tears-Laughing 

 

Might try some to get inspired for mapping 

 

oh yeah that one gave me a good laugh, but the one story that almost got me out of air was a story in /TIFU reddit about a guy eating a ton of chocolate fiber bars before a long trip got me laughing out loud at the work. even remembering bits of it i still chuckle a bit.

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Yup, those sugar free gummy bears are some of the funniest. Maybe not as funny, but some of these Roomba vacuum pics are are pretty funny. On cheezburger or bored panda? But gummy bears really take the cake.

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11 minutes ago, Caffeine Freak said:

Another gem from the archives. Possibly the greatest bot reply I've ever come across:

 

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How in the name of fuck do you lose a corpse in those circumstances?!

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so funny story, a friend of mine lived near a McDonalds and every time he was backed up he would go eat a meal at that particular McDonalds and then after a day or two the same effect as the questionable gummi bears would happen...

 

the particular McDonalds still exists but hopefully they no longer has this effect on customers who eat there

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4 hours ago, Murdoch said:

 

How in the name of fuck do you lose a corpse in those circumstances?!

Its obviously a deadweight.

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9 hours ago, xScavengerWolfx said:

I saw this on Twitter X and i commented with this:

 

"Ah yes, the American tax payers are giving money for shit like this. God bliss 'Merica!"

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Lesbians are awesome ngl. Don't fat shame them!

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I took a break from the internet for like a 3 days in 2021, one of the first things I read after the break was:
"my wife and her boyfriend just let me out of the closet, how are my beloved dallas cowboys doing?"

 

it's definitely not the funniest thing I've read but it got one of the best laughter reactions from me because I hadn't seen 1000 post like that in the past 3 days

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I hope I don't get censored or even banned for saying this but the single funniest thing I ever read online was a certain american professional game and software coder's account of his uncomfortable meetings with the Australian game developer company (if you can call it that: I don't think they ever produced  a single game since they were too busy hosting teenage runaways) that was hired to do the sequel to Wizardry 7.  Horrifying but also the funniest thing I ever read, right up there with the joke about the two parrots praying in their cage with rosary beads and the punchline:  "You can put the rosary beads away; our prayers have been answered!"

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Usually the news. Although I don't know where the line is drawn between "hysterically ridiculous" and "oh shit this is for real? depressing."

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On 9/18/2023 at 10:50 PM, whybmonotacrab said:

This AI generated eulogy never fails to make me laugh. 

image.png.e569aa135d76294b7aa8ffa0b61e1595.png

 

That is really funny. Reads like a game of Mad Libs.

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On 9/19/2023 at 5:50 PM, whybmonotacrab said:

This AI generated eulogy never fails to make me laugh. 

 

 

Hilarious.

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I can't remember the precise details, but some years ago someone flounced off the forums with a lengthy post, not unlike Bloodite's, which was pretty funny on its own, but (I think) RottKing recorded himself reading it out, and that was next level.

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This random Doom fan-fiction I stumbled across the Internet. Most of the things I find hillarious, aside from text errors is the overdramatic writing, describing stuff that's impossible and/or shouldn't happen in regular Doom gameplay for what's supposed to be a simple Doom co-op server and the idiocy of the main character and his teammates.

 

Spoiler

This is my doom 2 coop experience story, this actually happened on skulltag 

Sever 304461

The game started with 4 players (max)
Showbiz (Me)
Crash (some girl)
Protos (guy who didnt chat)
Electron (some guy)
We finished the entryway without sweat, we proceeded to go down the hatch into the underhalls, me leading the group
Now remember the game mode was Survival Cooperative which means when your dead, there is no coming back
So we proceeded down into the under halls otherwise known as the sewers,
Me with a double barrel shotgun
Crash with a shotgun
Protos with an chainsaw
Electron with a rocket launcher
We saw the first mob of former humans not long into the underhalls
I commanded myself and crash to take these 3 former humans out while protos and electron watched our backs
We then proceeded with a minimal 3% health lost from crash due to a bullet wound to the arm
The next mob jumped us!
In included 3 imps (human sized brown demons withs claws that produce fire to throw at us) and 4 former humans and 2 former sergeants (they are just like former humans except with shotguns instead of assault rifles)
I could have taken them all on bu myself if my team hadn't lost the plot
As soon as the mob came round the corner, electron went on a rocket rampage!
In the end, all was hell!
All demons were dead
But...
Electron had injured crash leaving her with 77% health left
Electron had also majorly injured me leaving me with 14% health left
And he had also killed Protos in the heat of the action
To top it all of, to kill the last demon, he also killed himself in the explosion
Which left me and crash
Crash then came to my assistance, i had 14% health but i had a big piece of shrapnel in my abdomen
I was slowly bleeding out
I was limping and could not move very fast, crash told me to stay put and put pressure on the wound
Crash then entered a near by supply closet bring back 3 stimpacks
Bring my health up by 30%
I now had a bandage round my abdomen, and she had minor burns to her upper left part of her body
We continued... It was only chapter 2 out of 30
We proceeded further into the underhalls, collecting ammunition from dead marine bodies along the way
We then entered the main generator room
As soon as we entered, 3 former sergeants, 7 former humans and 5 imps opened fire apon us
I dived for cover behind a near by UAC box and proceeded to shoot, sliding on my chest for cover brought my health down by 3% though
Crash ducked back behind the door and proceeded to open fire
We were both shooting until a demon (big strong pink demon that had huge haws to eat you) came up and...
Swiped crash!
Crash fell down with a nasty cut in her back bringing her down by 30%
I was now on 41% health
Crash was on 47% health
The demon wasnt done with crash
I didnt notice the trouble crash was in because i was dealing with the former humans and imps
The demon ran over to crash to finish the job
Crash jumped up quickely and ran out of the way of the demons jaws...
Right into the line of fire of my Double barrel shotgun...
I shot...
Hitting crash...
20 buck shot pellets went into her body
Even with full health she wouldnt have made it...
Thats 120% damage done from my hands
Crash was dead...
I finished off the rest of the demons not long after...
I went up to her body, closed her eyelids... She lay there so peacefully...
I guess its good she died a quick painless death instead of being mauled by demons...
I lay her gun by her body then fired 4 shots from my own in her memory...
Then proceeding out of the underhalls and into the gauntlet...
I walked out of the underhalls with a chaingun that i had scavenged from a former commando, and a marine armour suit that i had found in a cabinet
Opening the remote door, i prepeared myself for hell...
Well is a good thing i prepared, because hell is what i got...
Opening the door, i got greeted by 5 former humans, 5 former Sergeants and 7 imps
I quickly slid behind a UAC supply box and began my war
Letting off both my barrels, killing 2 imps. Two birds with one stone...
I quickly reloaded
Peeking round the corner, i saw 3 former humans and 2 former sergeants round a conveniently placed nuke waste barrel...
I opened fire in that direction letting off fireworks, the explosion left nothing of the the former soldiers but a pulpy bloody mess
I kept firing for another 5 minutes... Pinned down... And runnin low on ammo...
Just as i thought it was almost done, 3 former commandos, packed with chaingun ammo blasted through the door!
I opened fire with both my barrels killing one commando,
And thats when the end hit me...
Reaching onto my pack, all i felt was bullets...
No shells...
I was out of shotgun ammo...
I knew if i simply grabbed my chaingun and proceeded to load it, that would give the commandos enough time to walk over and bast yours truly off the face off the earth...
I un packed my chaingun and threw my double barrel shotgun at a commando, hitting him square in the head
The commando stumbled around and fell, i didnt watch any more, i began loading my chaingun!
Not long after i bent down and began feeding the ammo belt into my chaingun, i heard the commando get up, not a worry for me for i had done it
I stood up an let loose
I had 400 bullets of pure hatred! And i wasnt planning on letting any be left out!
More imps came though the door, just in time for the party!
Then some demons!
They all wanted to taste my belt of titanium and lead!
I let'em have it!
After 10 long minutes of crazed laughter it was done...
I was left with me, and my thoughts...
And a pile of mauled carcasses
i dropped my chaingun for it was dry on ammo and went and picked up my double barrel shotgun
Collecting ammo from deceased former sergeants
I slipped and sloshed through the pile of demons getting to the door
Entering long, empty halls
Patching up wounds from the battle before on my way...
Then stood before me the biggest wooden door with a demon skull nailed to the from for decoration...
I oped the door to see huge fury legs...
Slowly looking up, i saw what stood before me, waiting for me to open this very door...
A baron of hell...
Big pink demons with goat legs and two large horns
I let loose both barrels into his chest...
I turned round and started to run...
But the barons grasp was too fast
It grabbed my torso and pulled me back toward him...
he lifted me off the ground and smiled to me... The most evil smile i had ever seen...
He then placed his hand on my shoulder... And the other on my other shoulder
I reloaded and shot again! I still had fight in me!
I shot him in the face!
But that only enraged him!
He let go of my shoulder and grabbed the arm that held the shotgun... Ripping it clean off my body!
The pain was immense
he then placed his hand back on my shoulder and began to pull...
My body was being torn right down the middle, ever so slowly...
I soon died of loss of blood...
Ever so wishing that i had gone in crash's boots...

 

Edited by Panzermann11

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