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EraserheadBaby

A salad is just a breadless sandwich.

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11 hours ago, EraserheadBaby said:

Salad's are cold sandwiches without bread.

 

But what about salads with bread in them? Those are a thing.

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5 hours ago, MFG38 said:

 

But what about salads with bread in them? Those are a thing.

Are you talking about croutons?  That's covered in the OP.

 

As for there being regular bread in a salad, I would classify that abomination as nothing more than a chopped up sandwich lacking the effort to elevate itself into saladdom.  Perhaps a mean spirited, passive aggressive swipe from an unappreciated spouse.  It's hardly food at all. 

 

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisqualifiiiiied!

 

As always, your participation is appreciated. 

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17 hours ago, BGreener said:

So…basically…

 

…A big mac is just a salad with bread?

 

Awesome! My doctor is going to love this news! But the drive-through comes first.

 

Thank you, Lynchian Flesh Baby!

 

I was ordering a burger once and had two options:

 

a) brioche bun

b) no brioche bun

 

The stupid me was like "uh lets try the other thing", well imagine my surprise when a patty, salad and caramelized onions arrived in a plastic container. Guess it was a salad at that point. Dumbfuck.

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14 hours ago, EraserheadBaby said:

I appreciate your inquisitive nature, and that is a very interesting question, but we have more pressing issues right now.

 

Also, who's a cute little doggo?  Such a cute doggo.

Cute Doggo is my Doggo!  His name is Neil. 

 

20230917_124931.jpg

20230924_184408.jpg

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1 minute ago, EraserheadBaby said:

To be clear, Dogs do not go into salads or sandwiches.  I don't care if you find that insensitive.  That is for another thread.

Unless the sandwich bread is my hands, and the sandwich interior is their head, because I'm rubbing it, and calling them a good boy. 

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I think you have it backwards. A sandwich is actually just a salad with two pieces of bread as the container.

 

More seriously though, there are major structural differences between salad and sandwich. A proper sandwich is layered, with preference toward ingredients that are or can be made flat and similar-shaped to the bread, so as to cover most of the bread. Shredded, chiffonade, or finely diced can also be used but the expectation is still to create a layer that covers the entire breadspace.

 

A salad on the other hand is a semi-homogenous mixture. Barring any garnish which may be decoratively placed on top (and quickly destroyed), a salad is not supposed to be layered. The ingredients are expected to be mixed together in such a way that each one is evenly distributed throughout the entire bowl. A sandwich can have a small amount of one ingredient all concentrated on a single layer - a salad can have a small amount of one ingredient also, but that ingredient should be spread out among the rest of the ingredients. Furthermore it is acceptable to use larger chunks of an ingredient in a salad than on a sandwich, while flat ingredients that are too large are discouraged since you want to be able to spear a bite with your fork and fit the whole package in your mouth (I always do). In contrast a sandwich can have several ingredients of which the eater will bite off pieces.

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5 minutes ago, magicsofa said:

I think you have it backwards. A sandwich is actually just a salad with two pieces of bread as the container.

Six of one half a dozen of the other. 

 

While most sandwiches are layered, some are homogeneous mixtures, such as chicken, tuna, and egg "salad" (the validity of these items as salad is discussed in the op).  Barbecue sandwiches and Manwiches are also homogenous sandwiches, but they do not qualify as salads due to their temperature.  There is no rule that salads cannot have flat components.  The very green leafies that comprise the foundation of a salad are themselves quite flat, as are sliced red onion, sliced avocado, and those little grilled chicken breast strips.  Furthermore, a salad does not HAVE to be mixed or tossed.  When salads are served they are often presented in a visually pleasing, layered fashion and one is free to eat them that way, if they wish. 

 

I'm afraid your preconceived notions of what a salad must be have blinded you to the truth.

I will pray for you. 

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1 hour ago, EraserheadBaby said:

While most sandwiches are layered, some are homogeneous mixtures, such as chicken, tuna, and egg "salad"

 

No, even a tuna sandwich with nothing else on it would be presented in layers. Bread, tuna, bread. The innards of the sandwich can themselves be mixtured, but the overall construction must be layered for it to be a sandwich. So while salad of some kind could be an ingredient in a sandwich, there is nothing about salad that necessitates any quality of sandwich. It is exclusively the layering of bread (or any substitute) and ingredients that makes something a sandwich. Because of this it is wrong to say that salad is a breadless sandwich. You could rephrase the premise to "salad is a non-sandwich sandwich." It is either a contradiction or some sort of circular ontology, depending on how twisted your brain is (you could claim that all non-sandwiches have the quality of being a sandwich that has all of its sandwich-ness removed)

 

1 hour ago, EraserheadBaby said:

but they do not qualify as salads due to their temperature.

 

Nonsense, hot salad is totally a thing, such as bean or chickpea salad

 

1 hour ago, EraserheadBaby said:

 There is no rule that salads cannot have flat components.  The very green leafies that comprise the foundation of a salad are themselves quite flat, as are sliced red onion, sliced avocado, and those little grilled chicken breast strips.

 

I never spoke of such a ridiculous rule. I said that flat ingredients that are too big are discouraged. If your lettuce pieces are as big as a bun, someone is going to rightly say "what is this, a sandwich?!" More importantly, large chunks are fine in a salad but pretty bad in a sandwich where they will probably either shoot off in random directions or puncture the bread when you pick it up.

 

1 hour ago, EraserheadBaby said:

When salads are served they are often presented in a visually pleasing, layered fashion and one is free to eat them that way, if they wish. 

 

But not in sandwich layers. You should never create a salad by placing lettuce on the bottom, a bunch of tomatoes and cucumbers in the middle, and then the rest of the lettuce on top. If you did, that would be your last day in my kitchen!

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21 minutes ago, magicsofa said:

but the overall construction must be layered for it to be a sandwich

A salad can be layered even if it isn't sandwiched between two layers of the same food.

 

 

21 minutes ago, magicsofa said:

Nonsense, hot salad is totally a thing, such as bean or chickpea salad

I feel like you did not read the OP, make sure to check the disclaimer.  We are talking about garden salads.  I'll make that more explicit.  Though I do say "cold sandwiches" in the OP.

 

21 minutes ago, magicsofa said:

If your lettuce pieces are as big as a bun, someone is going to rightly say "what is this, a sandwich?!"

Exactly.

 

21 minutes ago, magicsofa said:

you could claim that all non-sandwiches have the quality of being a sandwich that has all of its sandwich-ness removed

I make no such claims.  Obviously soup is out of the question.  We aren't savages. 

 

 

I can go to subway and get one of their unparalleled salads, dump it into their amazing bread and BAM, sandwich.  As someone who works in a kitchen, I'm sure you're aware of the high bar Subway has set for this. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Given that no one has ever eaten the contents of your average fruit or pasta salad in a sandwich, and many sandwiches contain ingredients that, upon removal, would not constitute any reasonable person's definition of a salad, I find your hypothesis questionable and your conclusions spurious at best. Thus, your dissertation has failed peer review.

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On 11/20/2023 at 5:03 PM, Chow Yun Thin said:

lettuce-wrapped-burger-in-n-out.jpg

 

OK ngl, I do kinda want an In-n-Out Double-Double salad with grilled onions.

@Chow Yun Thincould not be more correct.  This is a salad also.  "Lettuce Wraps" are just salads you can hold with your hand. Their pretensions will not separate them from their salad heritage. 

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6 hours ago, Murdoch said:

Given that no one has ever eaten the contents of your average fruit or pasta salad in a sandwich, and many sandwiches contain ingredients that, upon removal, would not constitute any reasonable person's definition of a salad, I find your hypothesis questionable and your conclusions spurious at best. Thus, your dissertation has failed peer review.

@Murdoch May I turn your attention to this exchange between myself and @Danlex (sorry for the janky format, I couldn't figure out how to quote something from another page because DOOMworld is the first forum I've ever been on and I'm still learning)

 

On 11/20/2023 at 7:29 PM, Danlex said:

I prefer to believe that a salad is a tortillaless wrap, because the relation between those too feels more close and commutative than the one between salad and sandwich, considering the fact that there's just way too many types of sandwiches where this logic wouldn't work (ham and cheese, PB and J, grilled cheese, etc)

 

The infallible EraserheadBaby replied: All salads are sandwiches but not all sandwiches are salads.  Just like all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares.  However, your point about the wrap will have to be taken into consideration.

 

Furthermore, it is clearly stated and shown with visual aids in the OP that we are talking about REAL salads with lettuce and dressing.  Garden variety!  Keep your fruit and pasta "salads" to yourself!  We are trying to have an adult conversation here. 

 

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2 hours ago, EraserheadBaby said:

Furthermore, it is clearly stated and shown with visual aids in the OP that we are talking about REAL salads with lettuce and dressing.  Garden variety!  Keep your fruit and pasta "salads" to yourself!  We are trying to have an adult conversation here. 

 

How dare you sir! Are you implying i paid basically no attention to what you wrote and just posted whatever stupid crap came mind?!

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I put forth this argument that I have with my italian wife and son all the time. EVERY dish they make is indeed the SAME diner. Spaghetti, raviloi, mastacholi, lasagna, stuffed shells. They all have ground beef, red tomato sause, mozzarella cheese, noodles and most lilely are seasoned with oregano, salt, pepper, and parmesan. THEY ARE THE SAME DINER!!! And to top it off the side is always garlic bread!

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17 hours ago, Insaneprophet said:

I put forth this argument that I have with my italian wife and son all the time. EVERY dish they make is indeed the SAME diner. Spaghetti, raviloi, mastacholi, lasagna, stuffed shells. They all have ground beef, red tomato sause, mozzarella cheese, noodles and most lilely are seasoned with oregano, salt, pepper, and parmesan. THEY ARE THE SAME DINER!!! And to top it off the side is always garlic bread!

Another convert to the cause.  Our ranks are swelling

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21 hours ago, Murdoch said:

 

How dare you sir! Are you implying i paid basically no attention to what you wrote and just posted whatever stupid crap came mind?!

I knew IT!!!!  Spouting off at the mouth about a tragically important question of our time with no idea of what's happening!  I bet you're a news anchor!

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On 11/22/2023 at 5:15 PM, Skullzrawk9 said:

OP’s argument is pretty robust. A tuna salad sandwich is tuna salad between 2 pieces of bread. 

I can't fault that logic.  But due to the hedonistic nature of tuna salad, it can not be used as precedent for the behavior of true salads. 

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