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Coraline

House of a Thousand Corpses- Movie Review

What did you think of House of a Thousand Corpses?  

6 members have voted

  1. 1. What did you think of House of a Thousand Corpses?

    • I liked it because I didn\'t take my riddelin this morning.
      3
    • I thought it was an okay movie, but only because I wear the same underwear for three days.
      0
    • This movie is EVIL and should burn in hell like all of you should pick.
      2
    • Who\'s Rob Zombie?
      1


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My god!
The 'horror' movie written and directed by Rob Zombie not only sucked, but was the WORST movie I have ever seen!
First off, I might me a bit harsh, but just listen to what I have to say.
The movie, House of a Thousand Corpses (1000) sucked ass. 1000 shouldn't have been released. I can think of why they didn't want to release this movie in the first place: because it sucked.
Not like, "I'm just saying it sucked because of the content". I'm saying it sucked because it lacked a backbone.
Now I'm saying it might have been good if George Romero directed it, but he didn't. There is NO plot in this movie WHAT SO EVER!
NONE! It jumped in between so many things, how they got to the house, what is in the beginning that doesn't relate to the movie whatsoever, and how the people are STUPID.
I mean Romero's zombies are smarter. Hell, Doom zombies are smarter.
This movie was over-hyped way too much.
I don't know what was a bigger dissapointment: Daikatana, SiN, or 1000.
Now, I'm a horror bluff. I love horror movies. But not ONCE did 1000 make me jump out of my seat. It just lulled my brain into nothingness.
It got a 1 instead of a 0 because of the original make-up effects.
But the rest was horrible. The plot, the characters, the music, the directing, and the list goes on.
I was really really excited about The Zombie's movie. But it really left me dissapointed. Not mad, but dissapointed.
I can actually remember, when it ended, me and my friends started a swearing contest. That was how big a dissapointment was.
When the end segment said: 'The End' and a couple of seconds it said 'The End?' I sure hoped it would be the end of Rob Zombie's career in movies. The ending sucked ass too. The movie made no sense: why they are there, why the cheerleaders are missing, why suddenly Dr. Satan is in the car with them at the end, why they stopped and stayed at the house, why their son is deformed, why they like to kill, and the list goes ON AND ON.

People, let's get real. Resident Evil did a better job of scaring me, and it was an Action Movie!
This movie didn't even deserve the light of day. Just another dissapointment among the others. The creators must burn in hell for releasing this piece of shit.
Rating: 1 out of a 10.
PS: I would rather have watched old-school Brady Bunch episodes that I am too young to say they are old-school because I have never saw one with my eyes peeled open for 24 hours than watch 1000 again.
Seriously. A lousy waste of 5 bucks.
If you don't believe me see it for yourselves. One of my team members threw the idea of a 1000 doom-mod for us (like REU) but after all of us saw it, that idea was eaten faster than the Spider-demons 10 MM Venom Machine Gun fire.



I hope you take my warning seriously and STAY AWAY!
BTW, expect more movie reviews from me. I'd like to hear your opinions on this peice of crap. If they differ from mine you've got another thing comming :).

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Wow...they finaly released it then? No matter, I won't go to see it. I'll just wait for its inevitable review on Something Awful. And speaking of Zombie, I look at him the same way a Vietnam vet looks at someone who wears camo pants. (stolen joke)

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Yeah. Might as well read this one.
Believe me. The movie wasn't worth directing at all.
But thank you for believing in my review. Hey, this isn't all that bad. Maybe I can start doing this once a week on Doomworld or something...

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Chu said:

Dr. Satan

At first I was a tad skeptical but now I believe everything you said.

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whoa, guys. i haven't seen this movie, but the fact that there's a character named dr. satan is fucking great. dingus khan and i were going to see it on friday, but it wasn't showing at any theatres around here. which made me sad.

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pregnant with worms said:

but the fact that there's a character named dr. satan is fucking great.

Yeah, but it's supposed to be horror, not humor.

Unless we're all missing the point and it's a mockery of early 30's horror movies... then I guess it would be worth a watch.

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yes, i'd say there's a definitely a strong element of humor in it. the name alone would seem to support this.

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I'd have to agree with the last two posts on this one. Zombie is very tongue-in-cheek I would say. Perhaps it was that you were viewing the movie in the wrong light? You were expecting a "true horror" movie and this movie sure wasnt it. I dont know. I havent seen it yet...much to my dissapointment.

Chu --would you please offer a review that features elements from the movie to inform us that have no way of seeing it rather than just saying "it sucks it sucks it sucks". It's difficult to see why you think it sucks when that's all you say.

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Dingus Khan said:

Zombie is very tongue-in-cheek I would say.


Yes, definetely. I mean, his albums never looked particularly serious either for the most part.

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I just watched House Of A 1000 Corpses, thought horror would be the general catagory this movie would be placed in, it seems to be more or less a two hour expression of violence and a deep rooted sense of sick humor.. blackest comedy maybe? Most who seen it seemed to miss the humor in it.

At first I diddn't expect much due to the reviews that have been popping up in newspapers and websites, then again, these are the same people that claim that Scream was "Smart, Sexy and Scary". Another factor weighing against a positive outlook was the disaster that was Strangeland. After seeing it, I have to say that despite the fact that for the first quarter of the movie it clings to every 70's-80's horror cliche like a bear trap, by the time the ending credits roll graces the screen it stands out as an incredibly uniqe film. Expiremental camera angles rarely seen outside of the b-film genra and color-wash right out of a Nine Inch Nails video.. or even Local Access television, add a lot of personality. Unfortunately, the acting could have been better with the victims.. but their lines are so limited you'll probibly over-look it.

This was a break from the watered down horror movies that have been the trend over the past decade. Although it seemed a bit rushed at times, it was a breath of fresh air IMO. I can understand why it diddn't tickle many people's fancy, but my guess is it was aimed at an entirely different audience.

Ed Ebert

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I'm only guessing, but I'd say that it is the type of movie that appeals to the Evil Dead/Army of Darkness crowd? It seems that way. I dont understand that...because I know quite a few people here appreciate Army of Darkness for what it is. Of course, I'm still defending something I haven't seen, so I may be totally wrong.

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Dingus Khan said:

I'm only guessing, but I'd say that it is the type of movie that appeals to the Evil Dead/Army of Darkness crowd? It seems that way. I dont understand that...because I know quite a few people here appreciate Army of Darkness for what it is. Of course, I'm still defending something I haven't seen, so I may be totally wrong.


I have to agree, most people are divided between AOD/Evil Dead.. either you love it or you hate it... I went and seen 1000 corpses again, I love it.. plus I have all the Evil Dead series on DVD + all the 'special edition' this and that.

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There was an article in Entertainment Weekly a year or so ago that mentioned the movie. The original rating for the movie was NC-17 from what I've heard. To make it "acceptable" for America they said that there was as much butchery just editing the movie to an R as there was in the actual movie.

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I AM A MORON I AM A MORON I AM A MORON I AM A MORON I AM A MORON I AM A MORON I AM A MORON I AM A MORON.

iamamoron.

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ToXiCFLUFF said:

Just out of curiosity, is it a big industrial/goth culture thing to like the 1930's era horror films (incidentally, the style of many was referred to, in media language, as Bauhaus)?

Eh? From what I know, most of the horror movies that influanced industrial/goth culture were B movies from the 60s-80s. Just look at all the samples that industrial bands have in their music. Many are from such movies. Look at this just for the Hell of it. Skinny Puppy is one of my favorites to look through for all the samples they've used. They sample so much that they are ranked the #2 samplers ever on that site (FLA is first I think).

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I see so much I disagree with in this thread...

#1, when I read a movie review I expect it to have logical follow through with the whole "it sucks" argument.

Even assuming that Romero did direct this film, it would still "suck". Directing is not the same as writing.

"It would of been better if it had been better and if it had totally different people directing and if they changed the story and if they changed the actors and changed the ending and made it better and stuff".

Dur. Me write review. Me miss point. Movie not good but could of been good if it weren't this particular movie and they changed movie totally so it different movie. Only good this time.

Second, anyone who disses Evil Dead is not fit to be let into a cinema and should have their fingers removed so I don't have to read any more of their drivel. The original Evil Dead is a classic movie and the definitive example of what you can do with a pissant budget, an ingenious director and pure love for a genre. The second film takes the acidcam direction and runs with it into the totally psychedelic. Evil Dead 2's triumph is the seamless mixing of genre's, a hybrid horror and slapstick. AOD took Ash and made him into the ultimate geek hero. People who need the appeal of Ash and Evil Dead explained to them are never really going to 'get it'.

Third, as for the whole goth movement crap being fashionably associated with old-style horror... I really doubt the cheese fests of the 1960's would have much appeal over the designer-shredded-jeans modern Goth crowd, most of whom take themselves far to seriously to enjoy a campy Lesbian Vampires V.S Sultan Hound of Dracula flick. But if you go back further into the silent movies... check out Murnau's 1926 Faust, or even better (if you can find a good quality DVD of it) Nosferatu. The DVD I have has a film historian discussing the imagery and ideas of the film... Nosferatu, far from being the suave and sophisticated 'modern' vampire, is the embodiment of decay and the defiance that people develop in the face of hopelessness... about the allurement of self-destruction and the attraction that the above attributes have on people.

Same thing that Reznor is singing about 80 years later, funnily enough.

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I'm not really talking about the horrible PVC-clad, dog-collar and punched-out eye makeup kiddie goths.

I've never seen the original or AOD, but Evil Dead 2 was awesome.

You've got some real interesting stuff to say these days DN. I'm sure I don't remember you being like this before :)

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darknation said:

Second, anyone who disses Evil Dead is not fit to be let into a cinema and should have their fingers removed so I don't have to read any more of their drivel.



Who was dissing Evil Dead?

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darknation said:

...most of whom take themselves far to seriously to enjoy a campy Lesbian Vampires V.S Sultan Hound of Dracula flick.


it's 'zoltan', not 'sultan'. but you are very correct regarding the evil dead series.

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darknation said:

People who need the appeal of Ash and Evil Dead explained to them are never really going to 'get it'.

You were not put on this Earth to 'get it'!

...speaking of classic B movies. Heh.

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the_Danarchist said:

...speaking of classic B movies. Heh.


My collection:

Bad Taste
Henry
Evil Dead
Evil Dead 2
AOD
AOD Special Edition
AOL 1000 Free Hours
The list goes on..

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pregnant with worms said:

it's 'zoltan', not 'sultan'.

it's a reference to an old Billy Connelly joke.... probably a Scottish thing.

ToXiCFLUFF said:

You've got some real interesting stuff to say these days DN. I'm sure I don't remember you being like this before :)

Heh, well it was like three years ago... now my ass is bigger than ever!!

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darknation said:

it's a reference to an old Billy Connelly joke.... probably a Scottish thing.


oh, okay. sorry about that one.

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Isn't that the movie without the story and just killing stuff? Sounds cool, I'd better see it.

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darknation said:

it's a reference to an old Billy Connelly joke.... probably a Scottish thing.

Billy Connelly is fucking hilarious. I saw him on Conan O'Brien once and I couldn't stop laughing.

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