Mark Driver adresses the nation

[Lord FlatHead]

Members of the press, fellow Americans,

We live in troubled times. Shadowy regimes move against the interests of America, at home and abroad, and it is the duty for us, as Americans, to meet these challenges head on, to make the world safe for freedom, safe for families, and safe for democracy.

We have a new target in our War on Terrorism: the United States. This administration has received information that The United States of America is in current possession of weapons of mass destruction, a complex network of chemical, biological, and nuclear armaments, capable of killing the entire free world many times over. America has boldly demonstrated these weapons through many well-publicized tests, global weapons sales, and spreading of their manufacturing technology to terrorists, corrupt regimes, and rogue nations world-wide. Not only is the United States the largest possessor of weapons of mass destruction, itis the only country to have used nuclear weapons of mass destruction, on a fellow member nation of the UN, Japan, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 350,000 innocent civilians, certainly the largest terrorist attack in history.

The United States is a rogue nation that has, in its short and brutal history, consistently shown its belligerent nature, bringing war to peace-loving peoples of Britain, France, Spain, Iraq, Cambodia, Vietnam, Somalia, Afghanistan, Panama, Mexico, Grenada, Nicaragua, Cuba, the Philippines, Korea, Laos, Guatemala, and countless others. The United States is a nation that has shown little respect for international human rights, consistently flaunted international law, refused to sign international pollution controls, and has supported rogue terrorist regimes in Argentina, Iran, Nicaragua, Panama, South Africa, Haiti, Indonesia, Afghanistan, and until the mid-80s, Saddam Hussein's Iraq. In fact, the United States trained many Al-Qaeda operatives, including terrorist Osama Bin Laden, during Afghanistan's war against the Soviet Union. A nation that provides training for terrorists is a nation that must be dealt with in the most serious of terms.

We know that there are terrorist cells training within the borders of the United States. Places like Michigan, Florida, and New Jersey harbor and protect countless terrorist groups, and serve as headquarters for fundraising operations that spread terror worldwide. A nation that harbors such evil must be brought to justice.

On the battlefront, the United States has provided enemy combatants who have taken up arms against United States soldiers. John Walker Lindh is but one of many soldiers whom the United States has allowed to cross its border and take up arms against the United States. We cannot allow a country that supplies soldiers and terrorists to continue forward in their quest to spread terror and endanger American servicemen and their families.

The United States currently allows international criminals to cross its borders freely, along with illegally documented workers, many of whom are ripe for involvement in terrorist plots. Illegal drugs, which are a major funding source for terrorist groups, also flow freely across its borders, clearly demonstrating unwillingness of the United States to stop activities that create support for terrorist acts like those of 9/11, terrorist acts that injure and endanger the American way of life. Do you know that right now, I can walk to any corner of any metropolitan city in America and buy heroin? And where does a large amount of heroin come from? The Middle East-proving further US ties to rogue elements in that region.

Domestically, the current bloodthirsty regime of the United States came to power by demonstrable fraud, a systematic disenfranchisement of democratic values organized by the ruling candidate's family. The current regime has systematically looted a once prosperous nation's economy, squandering billions of dollars in military armaments while an estimated one-fifth of its children go hungry. This junta has actively gutted social programs that benefit general citizenry, adopted national policies based in fanatical religious fundamentalism, exploded the nation's indebtedness to creditors, and undertaken a fiscal policy that benefits the ruling elite at the cost of hard-working American families.

Corporate-controlled state television has been working hand-in-hand with military and governmental agencies to squelch serious dissent through a large-scale war of nationalist propaganda aimed at its own people. Internal domestic protests have been met with state-sponsored police violence, sweeping illegal arrests, chemical agents, and potentially lethal weapons. Increasingly draconian laws have put citizens under constant secret governmental surveillance and allow the current regime countless methods of intimidation and harassment.

For too long, the American people have suffered under a culture of fear, lies, exploitation, hard labor, state-sponsored violence, poverty, and racism. We can no longer turn our backs on their fates. The United States of America, in conjunction with coalition forces, must liberate the people of The United States of America from the clutches of the current regime of terror, so that democracy and Western ideals may once again overtake the historic Land of the Free. Civilized people of the world must agree that the United States is a demonstrable threat to the freedom-loving people of the United States and to freedom-loving people worldwide. We cannot stand by in silence as this rogue nation threatens our families, our livelihoods, our places of worship.

In a last attempt at peace, the United States has given the United States 48 hours to give up all weapons of mass destruction. We do not expect compliance. We, the people of The United States, are peacemakers, and we cannot have peace in a world run by dictators, corrupt regimes, and rogue nations who flaunt international law and UN regulations, attacking sovereign nations under false pretenses that result in the deaths of innocent women and children. Aircraft carriers are currently off the Atlantic coast, in striking distance. The liberation of New York City and Washington DC will soon begin, with the rest of the country following suit. We believe the American people will meet our liberation forces with smiles, dancing, and music in the streets. God bless us all, and God bless America.

We will not be taking any questions at this time.

-- Mark Driver

[Tobester]

OH NO!

WE MUST "LIBERATE" THIS COUNTRY AND TOPPLE THE STATUE OF THEIR DICTATOR AT ONCE!

:D

[Fredrik]

It's a job for Superman!

[Fletcher`]

heh. blindwino.com

[pritch]

Flathead for Information Minister