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Melfice

Dark Nexus: Intro and Chapter 1

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Dark Nexus:
By Chris "Kuberr" Wolfe



Prelude:



As I stood there, holding my right arm, I stared at the corpse of this demon. She had spawned this attack. She had spawned these demons. She had spawned hell. She was hell. I couldn't help but quiver almost naturally, the pain from the burns, cuts, and scratches was umbearable. I myself wondered how I had survived. As I looked around me at the arena of corpses, I took it all in. I waded through the blood towards the back of the circular arena of death. It seemed like what took me mere seconds before, running, was now taking me forever. I went over to the wall and leaned back, sliding down the wall, and onto the floor. This happened to be the cleanest place of the arena, no blood was here, only what I cold see across from me. What a horrid sight. By now I'd gotten use to all of this, the killing and the smell of tons of corpses, the smell of burning flesh and rotting carrion. But for some reason, this time, this time it bothered me more than ever. I had an uneasy feeling about this, as though my fight wasn't over. Yet at the same time I knew it was over. I must be paranoid, even insane at this point.

I looked upwards at the black sky engulfed in fire. I found that I was speaking to myself, "Do I really want to stay here? In Hell? For eternity? What will become of those back on Earth? What will become of those who even remotely cared about me?" That's when I shutp. The reason I became a marine was to find a home. I couldn't find one back on Earth, acceptibility wasn't important to me. Friends were more important to me than family anyday, but all of them had moved on after our schooling, and I was left behind. I came to the marines searching for a purpose in my life. They were the only ones that would accept me. Always telling me about how they would turn me into something, how I would become a man, and how I wouldn't need to worry anymore. Just like the times when I was a child and my late mother would tell me to pray and go to church. I never liked going to church, never wanted to. I was a kid, I had other things to do, I was supposed to be worry free, not have to worry about praying and sinning. One time when I was fourteen years old I even made a scene in front of the whole church. I didn't want to be there, my best friend was moving away that Sunday morning, and I had told him I would be there to say goodbye. My mom made me go to church that morning, there was nothing I could do.

Somewhere in the middle of sitting there, listening to the singing and hymns, I found the courage to make an uprise against my mother, and broke my way through the people and out there door. I literally ran out, and ran to my friends former house. They were just leaving when I got there. I didn't tell him what I had done to get there, didn't want to burden him, leave that last impression of me on him as he moved away. It ended up being another hour before my mother came by and picked me up. My friend and his parents had already left, I was glad. My mother was furious and dragged me back to the church before the Father to apologize. She told me to apologize while we were right there in front of him, and as he looked down on me, I simply stated, "I don't owe anyone an apology, I'm the one who is owed an apology." As I stated that I just looked down at my feet. I caught a glimpse of my mother out of the corner of my eye. She was red, furious, but she wouldn't bust in front of the Father. Suddenly I felt a finger lift my chin up, and I was looking into the face of the Father. "You, my child, have much to learn. If you would have prayed, you would have been able to see your friend again." When he said that I stated, "I thought god was supposed to hate or despise lies. Don't you think he would have hated it if I didn't show up for my best friend when I promised him I'd do so?" The Father glanced at my mother, then said, "No matter what, you should have obeyed your mother."

I was getting angry at that point. They didn't understand at all, they couldn't understand at all. What do parents and adults really know about children, anyway? How to tell them what to do when it's pointless or when they're being heartless? Hah. Later that year I'd done it again. This time The Father told me that I wouldn't need friends where I was going. Well, I'm here now. Now what?

It's strange. I suddenly feel the urge to get up and move on. Perhaps it's an urge to prove all of them wrong. Either way it's time to move, even if it's just somewhere else in Hell. That's when it hit me. The demons had invaded Earth in the past while I had fought my way through Phobos, Deimos, and to Hell and back. There's nothing to say that they didn't do it again. I panicked for a long while. I may not care much for those on the Earth but damnit it's my home. With that in mind I searched frantically in the two room arena for a way back out. I didn't find anything. As I was walking towards the center of the arena, I noticed saw an odd chance in the tiles on the floor. I walked closer, it was in the center of the area where the Motherdemon had placed herself, awaiting me. It was a very strange symbol, one I had yet to see. I rubbed off the blood and the dust to find that I could push it down. "There's got to be something to this thing," I had thought to myself. So I got down on my hands and knees and used my two hands and my uppder body to apply pressure and push down. It slid down and clicked, and then the entire arena began to shake. I was literally afraid, looking all around me. I only had one shot left in the BFG, and a clip for my pistol. The four pillars around this little altar in the arena began to glow, and suddenly I found that the floor beneath me had split into several pieces, forming a pentegram. As I stood up, I about fell over, a strong wind began to blow in a circle around me, and suddenly it appeared as though everything outside this altar began to spin with the wind. I felt like I was inside of a cyclone. I had no idea what was happening, nothing like this had ever happened before. As I tried to stay in the center, the cracks in the floor forming the pentegram began to glow bright red, and the light shot upward to the top of the arena.

I could hardly breathe, pressure was building up around me. As all this happened a sensation rushed over me I had never felt before, and I became confused and no longer felt my surroundings. As I struggled to breathe, I began to float in the air, and suddenly my vision went black. After a few minutes, everything became quiet again, and I could breathe, and while I still couldn't see, I could feel the air was completely cool, but not cold. I could feel my eyes were closed, and then suddenly they were forced open. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was floating in the middle of what appeared to be space. No planets were around me, merely stars. I couldn't physically move, it was as though I was in a coma. If I was in space, how was I alive? I could still breathe. Suddenly, the speed of the stars moving began to get faster, but slowly faster. But the movement around me didn't stop. Suddenly before I knew it it appeared as though I was flying faster than light towards some destination, and my vision once again faded to black.

All I could do was wondering if perhaps I was dead. If perhaps the demons had the last laugh, and that was a trap meant to finally kill me after all the numbers of their own that I had killed. Suddenly, I could feel air moving. I couldn't be in the void anymore. There was a gentle breeze blowing, and suddenly I felt myself drop for what seemed to be a few feet, then I hit a cold, hard surface. My vision cleared again, and once again I questioned if what I saw was reality. As I looked down, I realized the floor was metal, bolted down. I got up, feeling renewed. I looked at myself, touching my skin to see if I was still whole. All my cuts and scratches were gone. What in hell just happened? Then I looked forward, ahead, and saw something I wanted to see: Phobos. As dark and dirty as the halls were of the base, I was glad to be here, instead of hell. After walking around for a while, seeing the remains of the base, I found a working communications center and accessed it....



Chapter 1: Astral Anomaly



I knew it wasn't over. So maybe I'm not paranoid, maybe by now it's an instinct, but I knew that killing the Motherdemon couldn't have been enough
I contacted Earth as soon as I knew that I was on Phobos again, and that I wasn't seeing some sort of mind trick. I never found anything in Hell like that gate before. It's no suprise that Earth Base thinks there's another threat, there is always a threat. I just wish they would have provided me with more information. I had finally obtained the first state of peace-of-mind I had been in in a decade, when I found out Earth had not been attacked. Of course, that peace-of-mind didn't last. As soon as had it I lost it. Part of some kind of rock or asteroid has picked up on their radar and it's headed near the moon. They don't know how big it is, only that it's supposed to be capable of alot of damage if it would run in to the Earth or some such. They said it's moving really fast, but seems to slow down over time, and if the decline in speed remains steady, it will stop right in front of the moon.

So here I am, in some shuttle again, heading for another place I know nothing about. It seems the Union Aerospace Corporation has some classified files on the case. Supposedly they'd already sent someone there to explore when it was further out into space, but they lost contact with the person and haven't heard from them since. It's obvious to me that I'm on my way to this thing on a search and find mission. The last thing I want to do. Defending Earth is on thing, but going off onto an unknown planet that could be a threat, searching for someone whose identity I don't even know, on some object that could be as big as the moon for all we know, is a entirely different story. But I'm a marine, what am I supposed to do? It's not like I have anything else better to do.

At this point Its been a few hours since I left Phobos's hidden docking bay on my shuttle. Who would have thought that the UAC would have been smart enough to pull off a move, like create a hangar thats seperated from the rest the base and can only be accessed through a tunnel that's almost too small for an Imp to squeeze it's leathered, spiny ass down. I was beginning to get bored once again, so of course being the person I am, I began day dreaming. Thoughts of imprisoning Imps and sending them back home to give The Father and a few "friends" of mine a visit, then shooting them down with a pump-action shotgun upon completion of their tasks, a fine reward fitted for Imps indeed. Next thing I knew I was asleep and dreaming. I was being mawled to death by those damned Pinkie Demons, with no weapon and only my fist. I woke up in a panic and a cold sweat and told myself, "alright that's it dreaming is out."

Finally about an hour later the radar on this small shuttle showed signs of me closing in on the moon. I of course began the breaking procedure. After a few minutes of waiting on a visual the radar started setting off it's alert signal that tells you when you're coming damned close to your destination. I was ready for slowing down and bringing the shuttle to a stop, then it told me to immediately pull the breaking proceedures. "What the hell?!" As the radar showed that I was about to crash I pulled up and slowed her down, just in time. I unbuckled my seat belt and went to window on the side of the ship to look down and see if there was anything there to land on. All I could see was blackness. I could barely seperate this bizarre piece of rock from space, except that there were stars in space and not here. I walked back to the front of the ship wondering what the hell I was landing on. Not giving a second thought, I lowered it to what could be the "surface" of this rock and landed with a crunch. Once I had landed I decided I'd better contact home base to tell them I was here. "Lieutenant Tristan to Home Base, can you read me I repeat can you read me?" I didn't get any response. I tried again for several minutes before I just threw the microphone down and told myself to forget it. It seems I won't beable to make contact until I'm back out in space and have completed my mission.

I put on my space suit and opened the air-lock and walked outside. They predicted this place wouldn't have oxygen, but the outside air meter told me otherwise. But how could this place have oxygen? It was all a big misunderstanding to me. I thought only places with plantlife could produce oxygen, and from what I could see, this place was covered with nothing but some sort of odd black rock. I took a piece and went back to the ship and analyzed it. It wasn't anything found on Earth, or Phobos, or even Deimos. But the interesting part was it's structure when you looked at it under a microscope. There were little pieces of metal and iron stuck together within it. Strange indeed. But I guess I better quit playing with the rocks and go back out to my mission.

With that in mind I headed outside once again. I was paranoid, and didn't want to take my helmet off, but then again, our space equipment has never failed us, just those who use them. I took my helmet off and sat it in the shuttle. The temperature was nearly seventy degrees farenheit. This thing was till on it's way towards the moon when I landed, which means it would be too cold for me to live on, unless there was heat radiating from it somewhere. Even more puzzling. This whole thing is nearly freakier than my trips to hell. Atleast when I was in hell I'd gotten to know what to expect, and even if I hadn't been there before, it met all of my expectations, it was just like I imagined. I suddenly realized via my handy wrist watch that I was getting close to some sort of ledge. It was everything a marine needed, it could track the terrain of a place like this by the same way a bat does back on Earth, bouncing soundwaves off of objects. It was completely dark, and even my flash lights on my fitted marine helmet did no good. Figures, I would get tired of my space suit but I would slip my standard-issue marine helmet on any day.

As I grew closer to the ledge, I noticed some sort of pulsating light up ahead where it was. It was too far a way to make any shapes our anything that could be producing the light. But I drew nearer and found out that that I was beginning to go down hill a ways, and finally I was upon the source of the lights and my destination. I was now below ground about five feet, and, this ledge wasn't a ledge, but a hole in the ground. Home base told me this place was completely desolate from satellite view. Apparently they didn't pick up the lights. The lights were a trim that were on both my right and left side, and the tunnel went deeper, until there was a end to the trim, and an end to the tunnel. What stood in front of me now was a gigantic metal-like door, or atleast thats what I assume it is. I walked up to it, and began looking it over. As the lights on the trims pulsed off and on, the glow of the light would show details of the door. It was completely alien. It didn't look demonic or human. Then I noticed there was another small trim of lights around the door. I was nervous at this point, so nervous. Then I took my helmet off and put my ear to the door. It was thick, I could barely hear anything, but in the silence, I heard something. I heard air, but it was moving. That meant this place must have a ventalation system within. After that I knew I needed to get inside, and frantically began looking for a way to open the humongus door...

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You have some nice ideas here and there, but I'm afraid your story has some serious flaws, both technically (grammar and spelling) and otherwise.

There was one major story flaw I came upon in the story that kinda made me cringe. The bit about Phobos not only having a docking area with ships - the only ship I knew of in the game was the ship that the marines came in and the doomguy couldn't use that to navigate off the moon, which brings me on to the next issue - but the Doomguy being able to pilot a ship all alone (he couldn't get off Phobos in the game because, as the story implied, it took a larger crew than one man to pilot the craft).

I think that there was one more problem, but I don't remember what it was, so I'll skip that.

Otherwise, it's a nice, well-structured piece of fan fic which even has some background info on the Doomguy, but you seriously need to do something about spelling - if you've got microsoft word, select the whole text in the document and hit F7, that should take care of the worst errors, provided that your version of word has English language control.

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Yeah, most generally I use MSWord, but for some reason I found myself typing that in WordPad of all places hehe.

I expect the 2nd and 3rd chapters to be done sometime soon, atleast when I find the time to do so.

[edit]

My, god, I just read back over those first two chapters. WTF was I thinking when I typed that, all those freakin grammar errors and crap! AAAH!!!

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Kuberr said:

My, god, I just read back over those first two chapters. WTF was I thinking when I typed that, all those freakin grammar errors and crap! AAAH!!!

Yeah I know how you feel - I've been through that many times before.
Just edit your post and kill the errors and it'll be like they were never there (except for the posts that pointed out that there were errors).

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