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Melfice

Just curious...

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Seemingly there are a few people around here that much like me, are gay (which I'm sure everyone here should know by now, I've only said that I wish Footman was gay and then said that I'm always falling in love with straight guys, and a few other comments. can't get much more obvious than that).

Anyway, I'm just asking that anyone who is gay or bi that doesn't mind doing so post here or PM me or something. Heh, I'd like to know who all is around here so we can chat, email or whatever. I don't think this has any reason to get PH'ed, but I wasn't sure actually so I'm just taking a chance. I want to beable to talk to some people like me, since I'm literally the only gay guy in my whole freakin town.

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What made you decide to be gay? When did you discover you were gay? How many gay experiences or relationships have you had? Do you like the word gay?

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What made you decide to be gay? When did you discover you were gay? How many gay experiences or relationships have you had? Do you like the word gay?


1. It has been scientifically proven that you are indeed born gay. I was taught this in Biology last year. It has to do with a lack of X or Y (I forget which), chromosomes in the male DNA. However, I'm going to stray away from that topic, because I'm sure there are many who would argue differently with the whole "you make the choice," thing. I suppose I could choose not to be gay, but then I would be lying to myself and not being who I really am, which is against my nature.

2. I discovered I was gay back when I was in 6th grade (currently in 12th grade this year, yay, last year!).

3. I haven't had any...I'm the only gay guy in this freakin hick town to my knowledge.

4. IMO, people who aren't gay that use the word as an insult, along with fag or queer, should be pistol-whipped. It's an insult to any and all gay people, because they're using that as a means of insult and degrading eachother with words that mean homosexual. I also think its pretty retarded that people started using gay as meaning homosexual rather than queer. Gay use to mean happy, just FYI to anyone who didn't know. I pity one of my friend's mom whose name is Gay, because it use to mean happy. Then again, queer can sound more hateful when you're being insulted, so...I dunno on that one.

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Kuberr said:

...I also think its pretty retarded that people started using gay as meaning homosexual...



I also think it's pretty gay that people started using 'retarded' to mean 'bad'.

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Born gay,
As gay as Rock Hudson.
You won't be a stud, son,
It's all right here in your genes.


Anyway, cute songs aside. I'm straight, and I'm cool with everybody. I don't let labels cloud my judgement, but it does piss me off when people only define themselves around their labels. So do me a big favor and be something beyond just the token/comedy gay forum member, comprende? :)

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No problem ;) Even to my few friends here where I live that know I'm gay, I don't go around constantly reminding them of it, lol.

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Supposing I came across a guy I found attractive, I'd totally do him. I dont know if that exactly makes me bisexual since i've never found any males i've found to be attractive, which would prove my theory here. I'm just saying I'm not going to shut the door before i look what's inside.

Can anyone who is gay answer me this though: Is homosexuality a "born with" thing? They've scientifically proven it's true...but science has been led astray quite a few times before and made false conclusions.

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Well, if we can, I'd like to stray away from the whole origins of gay people thing. I'm not too big on science, and I hate religion, but to me being gay is just being yourself, wether you choose to be or you're born that way. Sure, you can always choose to try and be different than what you are, but for me, as I said before, It's against my nature to not be myself. To tell the truth, I've tried being straight before, about three different times, because I got so lonely living here with no one else gay remotely near me. It doesn't work, atleast not for me, I can't deny myself of what I am.

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Dingus Khan said:

Can anyone who is gay answer me this though: Is homosexuality a "born with" thing? They've scientifically proven it's true...but science has been led astray quite a few times before and made false conclusions.


I read somewhere hormonal changes in the uterus after the birth of a previous male fetus can have an impact on the development of a second male fetus, and can increase chances of homosexuality.

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There's a portion of the hypothalamus which is believed to control sexuality. Certain studies have found it to be significantly smaller in homosexual men, although the researchers didn't conclude that this proved inborn homosexuality (the media activists jumped on it as conclusive though). Of course, this portion of the brain isn't much bigger than a pinhead to begin with, and volume alone isn't a good enough measurement since it neglects density. Studies on identical twins haven't revealed the perfect one-to-one equivalence of homosexual orientation that would be expected if homosexuality was indeed genetically inherited. There is some decent evidence in the category of genetic inheritance, but AFAIK there's nothing conclusive.

On the other end of the spectrum, studies document the similarity of the personal backgrounds of homosexuals, almost always finding a major break in the father-son / mother-daughter relationship, and sometimes instances of homosexually-oriented sexual abuse.

I believe both of these to be highly plausible explanations, and one being true for some people doesn't negate another from being true for other people. They're not conflicting theories, merely different ways of ending up at the same point. For most of the people I've known, their attendance to counsellors who deal with issues like this has left them quite straight once they rectified their past hurts.

Personally, I simply find beautiful people attractive, doesn't matter what sex they are. I appreciate both girls and guys who take care of themselves, so you can pass me off as bisexual in nature, however where things differ for me is that I'd never get into a sexual relationship with a guy: just cause I find one to be a turn on doesn't mean I'd want to kiss him passionately or make out with him or even feel him up... anything of that nature. I think it's quite possible for friends to be close - and I mean very close - without having homosexual feelings for eachother. IMO, there's a fair difference between hugging and making out for example. I think 2 guys who are really good friends can be able to share a deep relationship, live together, be huggy and all that without being considered "gay" in any way at all. In some places it's even simple custom to kiss your teammates after a match or competition, or brothers and good friends kiss eachother. What I think makes all the difference is the intent of your actions: are you kissing and hugging the dude because he's been such a good friend and teammate, or because you get horny by doing it? That's what decides your relational homosexuality I think. As for the natural aspect... hey I can't help getting horny when I see a beautiful person. I can, however, control that urge and keep myself out of a sexually intimate relationship if need be, and IMO that's what truly determines homosexuality: the actions, not the feelings.

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That's why Lüt rules :P (and no that isn't sucking up, lol).

I would make a post in response, with stories of how some of that may relate to me at some point in the past, etc. etc. etc., but alas I'm too tired to be arsed with doing so.

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Kuberr said:
but alas I'm too tired to be arsed with doing so.

That line explains 90% of my posts (and intended ones).

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I don't have a problem with gay people, as long as they don't try to kiss me :)
Seriously though, this guy living in the same village I live in had his big 'coming out' about two years ago. He was really scared to tell it but his story was very well received.

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That line explains 90% of my posts (and intended ones).


I usually have too many things on my mind to pay attention to in depth posts and making them aswell. If I can...I try to save myself but myself keeps slippin away...get my mind back on track where it belongs and quit wondering off, I may just beable to get a list of goals atleast half finished before my vacation ends the middle of next month...

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pregnant with worms said:

I also think it's pretty gay that people started using 'retarded' to mean 'bad'.


I don't know exactly how you meant this, but I find something profoundly funny in it.

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I've got no problem with homosexuals (I have a few homosexual friends) although I am guilty of using the words "gay" and "fag" as insults... however when I do use them I don't mean them to mean homosexual... I guess I should stop doing it, meh.

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Heh, I'm not sure that it makes me mad that people use those words as insults, but more the fact that they're used so damned much. They're very over abused in that meaning. It gets annoying hearing it so damn much. Bah. Its mostly teenagers, people around my age group that do it. Damn, you'd think of all the other words out there they could come up with something else...

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Kuberr said:

To tell the truth, I've tried being straight before, about three different times, because I got so lonely living here with no one else remotely gay near me.

heh

Well, I would actually say that feelings determine homosexuality as opposed to actions insofar as you can live heterosexually whilst actually being gay... but then on philosophical terms I'm much more oriented around the intention rather than the actual effect.

But anyway, to answer the original question, I'm bisexual but I generally encounter more females I find attractive than guys. Funny thing is though, despite having homosexual experience I couldn't be in a relationship with a guy.... just never had the urge for that.

Redneck towns suck. I used to be in one not so long ago... I was apparently gay because I had long hair, spent a lot of time with my mother and dyed my eyelashes. Just awful places, you getting out of there any time soon Melfice (sorry, I hope you don't mind, but I've never managed name changes)?

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It's no problem, people can call me Melfice or Kuberr, whichever they want, Kuberr is really just an reincarnation of what was formerly Melfice, so in a way they're both one and the same.

As for leaving this place, I plan to next year. This coming year is my last year of high school, after that I plan to move out of town. Fuck, if I even get an internet relationship going with someone who is truly who they say they are, I'd probably go as far as to move to where they're located. Even if they weren't who they said they were, I'd be away from this place. The only thing I'd miss are the few friends that I have here that aren't hicks, but I know they'll move on, so I will have to as well.

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Kuberr said:

1. It has been scientifically proven that you are indeed born gay. I was taught this in Biology last year. It has to do with a lack of X or Y (I forget which), chromosomes in the male DNA.


Ouch, I'd have a word with your biology teacher if I were you, something has gotten confused along the way. Yes it is possible to be totally lacking an X or a Y chromosome. It's also possible to have extra of either of these. The effects would be more far reaching than simply being gay, however.

To give you an idea, Down's syndrome is caused by having an extra 21st chromosome - a pretty small chromosome at that. The effects of an extra X or Y tend to be less profound than "Down's" however. It is possible for a man to have an extra Y chromosome, for example, and appear to be a perfectly normal male (although are often tall and thin). There has been research to show that people with this genetic condition may have a tendency towards violent crime, but that doesn't mean they must have that tendency, and some research refutes the idea totally. It is, however, presumably why the authors of Alien 3 made all the convicts on the penal colony have this condition. Good old Hollywood. You can always rely on it for sound scientific information.

The vast majority of gay males will have an X and a Y just like other males, and the vast majority of lesbian women will have 2 X's, just like other females.

There has been some research done to show that a "Gay gene" may exist, but it is far from accepted scientific fact. The argument about whether you are genetically gay or environmentally gay rages just as strongly as it does with intelligence and any other characteristic that could be genetic or environmental. The debate is known as "Nature versus Nurture" and as with any argument that has extremes, the answer probably lies somewhere in the middle.

Oh yeah, and for the record, I'm a biology teacher too.


Kuberr said:

Gay use to mean happy, just FYI to anyone who didn't know.


Yes.... and no. Gay simply meant happy for a relatively short time - mainly the early part of the 20th century. Prior to that is actually tended to have a slant to it. Not simply "happy" but perhaps reckless, frivolous and certainly a bit seedy and somewhat immoral. For the "straight Dope" on this word, read here... http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_271b.html

What I do find odd is that in the last few years Gay has turned into a general term for things that are bad. To me it just sounds odd to say something like "I crashed my car yesterday, it was really gay." or "I saw a really gay movie yesterday." or "Doom Legacy is gay."

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Kuberr:
It has been scientifically proven that you are indeed born gay. I was taught this in Biology last year. It has to do with a lack of X or Y (I forget which), chromosomes in the male DNA.


Biology lessons suck at you school.
Being gay or not has nothing to do with X and/ or Y chromosomes. There are syndromes that are caused by a wrong number of these chromosomes but none of them have anything to do with homosexuality...

Turner’s Syndrome (XO Syndrome):
Newborn: Small stature, Mean IQ about 90 – early development usually normal; tendency for low self-esteem and depression in young adults; ovarian dysgenesis (90%); congenital lymphedema (80%); broad chest with widely spaced nipples (80%); web neck or low hairline (50-80%); anomalous auricles (80%); narrow palate and small mandible (75%); elbow abnormalities (70%); bone dysplasia (50%); renal abnormalities (60%); bicuspid aortic valve (30%); coarctation of the aorta (10%); hearing impairment (50%). (From Smith’s text:5th edition)
Young child: When diagnosed, growth is more than 3 standard deviations from the mean.
Adolescent: Combination of growth failure and pubertal delay. Ultimate height: 50-60 inches (mean 55 inches).
Adult: Workup from amenorrhea or even for infertility.
http://www.mcg.edu/pediatrics/CCNotebook/chapter3/turner.htm

Klinefelter syndrome (XXY Syndrom):
Klinefelter syndrome is the result of a mistake in cell division either at the time of conception or soon after. Males usually have one X chromosome which they receive from their mother and a Y chromosome which they receive from their father. They also have 22 pairs of autosomes (chromosomes which are not sex chromosomes), one of each pair from mother and the other from father. Therefore, there are 46 chromosomes altogether in every cell of the body. and this is written as 46,XY.

Boys with Klinefelter syndrome have a 47,XXY chromosome complement. In some very rare cases, males may have three (48,XXXY) or four (49,XXXXY) X chromosomes.
Boys with Klinefelter syndrome tend to grow at a slightly quicker rate than their peers and their final height may be greater than expected, but is usually within the normal range. In around 50% of boys there is some growth of breast tissue at puberty (gynaecomastia).

Body hair, beard growth and testicular size are all reduced in boys with Klinefelter syndrome. The use of the male hormone testosterone, has been effective in increasing strength and developing a more masculine appearance. Treatment usually begins around the age of 11-12 years and can be given in the form of patches. Consultation with an endocrinologist (a hormone specialist) will provide further information about testosterone treatment.
Boys with 47,XXY in all their cells are highly unlikely to ever have children, although advances in IVF technology is making this more possible. Those who are mosaic for Klinefelter syndrome and have the normal 46,XY cell line may be able to father children unassisted. Sexuality in Klinefelter syndrome is perfectly normal.
http://www.genetics.com.au/Genetics2003/FactSheets/24b.asp

OY:
Lethal

Personally I do not know nor care what causes homosexuality...

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I'll admit I was a little shocked when I heard Melfice/Kuberr was gay; not really scared, you know, just a little shocked. I mean, I talked to the guy on AIM several times and he never, you know, "let on" to me that he was indeed gay.
At any rate, let me go ahead and say that I have nothing personaly against gay folks. Yeah, almost everyone says that, but I don't, really. So what, they're attracted to the same sex of which they themselves are a member? Big whoop. I don't let it bother me, and you shouldn't let it bother you, if indeed it does.

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Kuberr said:
1. It has been scientifically proven that you are indeed born gay. I was taught this in Biology last year. It has to do with a lack of X or Y (I forget which), chromosomes in the male DNA


Complete and utterly wrong. Lack of a chromosome causes severe physical abnormalities and usually results in death of the unborn fetus. Death usually happens so early in embryonic development that the mother might even not have noticed she was actually pregnant. Furthermore, genes do not cause homosexuality... there have been examples of one-egg twins (ie. complete identical genetical makeup up until moment of seperation) with one brother being heterosexual and the other homosexual. Scientist simply do not know what "causes" homosexuality, as much as they don't know what actually "causes" heterosexuality or, for that matter, why some people like the colour red and not blue. But with genetics being a buzzword, people are inclined to attribute it all kinds of magical properties in much the same way people used to think radioactivity was going to be the remedy for everything, from curing cancer to psychiatric disorders to improving crops and evolving superhumans.

Bah.

And why should this make a difference to you anyway?

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I dunno if you watch Kids in the Hall Kube, but Scott Thompson is one of my heros. I think it's pretty amusing how some guys can't even watch gay comedians for fear the gayness will rub off. I know I'm straight, is that what makes me different? With these other guys is it because they have latent gay desires that they don't want to let slip? I mean, to be completely honest I find seeing two men kissing to be kind of revolting, but that doesn't mean I can't laugh at gay humour and stuff. I think it's like a lot of other completely different things, if that makes sense. :p For instance I like watching the surgical shows on TV. I think it's fascinating all the different structures and how they take them apart and put them back together again. I love it. Other people see a person peeled open like an banana and run screaming. I don't think it really means anything. I like girls, you like guys. I like to dip my french fries into my chocolate milkshake, most other poeple at the A&W seem kind of horrified when they see me doing it. It doesn't really mean anything.

My only criteria for judging people is whether or not they're a jerk. There are too few actually decent people in the world to exclude one for an irrelevant reason.

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I don't have a problem with gays, as long as they don't hit on me.

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ToXiCFLUFF said:

I don't know exactly how you meant this, but I find something profoundly funny in it.


then you definitely got it.

i'd fuck anything that got it up for me enough and wouldn't get me sent to prison or the emergency room. that about covers it, i think.

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dn theory: You can look at life in black or white, or you can look at the world and see 42 million shades of grey.

I think this applies to sexuality also.

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