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Silent Hell Chapter 1: Escape

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Anyone remember when I said that the pic I made was actuall something from a fanfic I making? The Silent Hill/Doom crossover? No? :P

Anywho, for the people that do remember, or for the ones that wany a new story, here it is. The first chapter in a short series I'll be writing. It's a story of a man, and his love for im... er, that is a marine trapped in the town of Silent Hill. Youll have to read it to get the jest of it.

I actually wrote it with the idea that it would be 'difficult' to follow, like it was a dream more then a story. I might have over simplified it, but I'll be switching from the first person view in this chapter to a third person view in the next one. Bear in mind it's just a beinging and I was tempted to make it just an intro other then a chapter in it's self, but oh well. :) Oh yeah, and there is swearing and blood and stuff, so, um, don't read the swears or blood if you don't like it and don't let miners read this (they might use their pick axe's on the monitor). :)

Anywho, I'll stop talking and give you the story (revision 1, btw. ;). Here is Chapter 1 of Silent Hell:

Footstep after footstep the pavement passed by, a yellow painted line highlighting the center of the road I now walked on. I slowly looked from the pavement to the sides of the road I walked along, looking at the buildings that slowly passed by my unfocused eyes, the sound of screaming and unearthly howls echoing in front of me. My head dropped back to the street, looking over my blood stained combat boots, a feeling of uncontrollable dread filled me as I approached the sounds.

“...no...”, was all I could speak as I tried in vain to either stop myself from walking or raise my head to see what was before me. The sounds changed into twisted laughing as my body started to stumble forward, as blood flowed from my dark purple suit, staining the road I was now about to collapse onto. But something wouldn’t let me fall, even when I tried to with all my strength. I tried to think... who am I? Why am I here? What was going to happen to me? I couldn’t think of anything but questions, as even the most simple of answers evaded me, leaving me with questions unanswered and a soul burdened without truth.

Suddenly, a spark rose within me. An anger that quickly manifested it’s self into power. Power to stand straight, even with my lifeblood draining out of me. The power to answer my questions. The power to stop walking toward them. The power to resist them.

The sounds stopped laughing as they realized that I was not as weak as they thought. They began to yell out, cursing me and my power; my anger over them. A smile crept over my face as my head rose up, my eye’s no longer clouded, my soul no longer hurt, my anger as my light in the darkened street that lay before me. I expected them to begin to fear me as I finally looked before me, but only saw demons smiling back, standing around a bloody circle made of my own blood, their curses changing into fits laughter. My eyes locked into place, my heart stopped beating, my body grew ever colder, as more and more of my blood poured into the circle, forming a star and symbols I couldn’t see properly without my eyes watering, clouding my vision. I glanced down at my body, only to see a rotting corpse in it’s place, my hands slowly twisting into deformed claws, my head ached as it began to swell and burst, bringing forth a horned demons head in it’s place. I howled in agony as what was left of my humanity was torn to peaces from the inside by the anger I thought was my power, but turned out to be theirs.

They had succeeded.

I was now one of them.

I was a monster.

My vision spun as I faded away from existence, the new owner of this ‘body’ taking shape and stealing the space where my mind was leaking. My last vision before I finally disappeared from the world was a blood-spattered sign that said:


* * *

A small splash of water on my face awoke me, my eye’s slowly focusing on the rusted gray metal wall before me. I was still here. Still locked away in this gray prison cell they want me to call home. Screw that.

I stood up, looking myself over. My hands were still bruised from pounding on the door, my arms scratched up by my attempts to reach into a hole I found in the ceiling. My clothes were dirty, the plain white t-shirt I had on me was torn up with scratches and tattered sleeves, blood and mud covered what was left of it. On my legs was a pair of black track pants, giving my legs no protection from any force that could possibly attack them, also stained with blood and mud. These weren’t mine. I felt vulnerable without my combat suit, the armor within could protect almost any part of my body from practically any attack they could muster, the boots and padding both cool and warm when ever needed, the helmet’s electronic HUD giving me any information I needed.

I shook my head. No, I’m not weak. It’s not the armor that makes the man, it’s the man that makes the suit. Get up and find a way out of here. Now.

My muscles ached as I stood and started stumbling toward the door. I pounded the door with all my strength, making a resounding thud against it with my clenched fist, yelling out, “HEY! COME AND FINISH ME OFF YOU SONS OF BITCHES!”

For what could have been hours or seconds, I pounded the door yelling out at whatever was beyond it, not even knowing if they could even hear me. My hand started to bleed as each new thud got wetter and wetter, until I no longer had the strength to pound any more. I looked down at the only other object I had with me other then my clothes, the fm radio I had found jammed into the hole in the ceiling. The reflection of the silver plated radio reflected my eyes right back at me, tired and lonely. I chuckled and pawed at the radio, poking it for amusement and to keep my mind off the situation.

My name is Teiganus Dos, Teigan for short. I was sent to this town, Silent Hill, to figure out why the hellspawn weren’t invading it. With the earth being raided from top to bottom, the discovery that they actually avoided this place must have had some significance. This could very well have been the weakness we were looking for. So they formed a team and slapped me in the middle of it to keep it all in one peace. Well that worked well. Less then a few minutes of entering the town, we were ambushed and taken hostage. At least, I assume the others were taken. I didn’t know how long I had been in here, but it had to be at least a few days, because my stubble was starting to grow back. I must look like some kind of lunatic.

I sighed and dropped back to the floor. I was gonna die here. Not of starvation of lack of water, but soon my mind would go and to me, that was worse then anything they could possibly do to me. I leaned my head on the back of the door and gave it a quick bang against it, to feel the pain that was the only keeping me sane. I banged it again. And again. Over and over, harder and harder, until I finally felt the release of pain that I had wanted. I cackled with glee and slumped forward, feeling the back of my head with my hands. I felt wetness and brought back my hands, which were covered in new blood. Was it from my head? Was it from my hands? Did I hit the door hard enough to make it bleed? I gave another cackle and stood up, stumbling to the other side of the room, minding the only source of light in the center of the room.

As I passed the light bulb, I pondered putting some of my blood on the bulb so I could get more color out of it. The thought quickly vanished from my mind as I reached the other side of the room. I thought I had stopped moving at the bulb... I leaned my head against the wall, my arms holding most of my weight, my eyes closed. Death. Doom. All of mankind was going to die a better death then I’ll get here in this stupid town. Silent Hill. More like Silent Hell. I don’t want to die like this. I’m not some weakling. I will fight. Even if I die doing it...!

My eye’s flung open and anger filled my heart. I looked back at the door and clasped both my hands into fists as a red sheet of rage covered me completely. I took a step toward the door, and with one big holler yelled out at the door, “OPEN YOU FUCKING DOOR!”, and jumped at it with more force then I could ever have done. I heard a crack and a sharp pain as my whole body crashed into the door and for a second I thought I had finally broken myself, but to my surprise the door flung from it’s place, a large dent in the center of the massive door. It flew right off its hinges and crashed into the concrete wall behind it shattering large parts of it. It then clanged onto the hard floor, wobbling over the dent that had made it’s way to the other side of the door.

I stood there, stunned. It’s open. I... I can get out. I looked to my hands, which were shaking violently. They were also clean of blood. I blinked and felt the back of my head, but saw no blood from there either. Was I dreaming that I opened the door? Or did I dream waking up and jumped to my feet awake, smashing the door open? My sight cleared up and my body felt drained again. I dropped to my knees and started to weep. I didn’t care anymore; I was free! I smiled and clamored to my feet, taking my first steps out of the room, into a blank hallway. Only two doors existed in it, a 2 inch thick dented metal door that was lying before me and a rotten wood door a long way down the hall. The floor was a redish concrete, or at least felt like it, while the walls were some other kind of brown concrete, with patches of some kind of green sealer. My attention turned to the ceiling. Every 10 or so feet a light bulb hung, some of them flickering, while others were completely out. The ceiling it’s self was metal, a greenish puke color with hexagon sections notched into it to make it look fancy.

I started to make my way down the corridor when the sound of static filled the air. I looked back at the room I had been kept in for so long and sighed. With a heavy heart I rushed back into the room toward the sound which came from the fm radio I had dug out of the hole. Its working. My mind raced and I smiled. I might be able to get some ones help with this! But my mind worked too quickly and I was suddenly snapped back into reality as I remembered that this was just a radio. I could talk into it all I wanted it didn’t have a mike, it was no radio, just something that played music. I was even lucky to get sound at all out of it considering the shape it was in. I listened to the sound, the static didn’t seem like static at all, more like some kind of language, like some creature was trying to speak to me. I tried to make out words, but got nothing. I gave my head a quick pat. It’s just making static, nothing more. I must have bumped it just right an got it to work when I smashed open the door.

I blinked and looked over at the door. How? That door was two inches thick. How could I just smash it open? I stumbled over to the wall, checking the hinges. They were in fine condition, not a spot of rust. This was impossible. I must be dreaming, there’s no way I could have smashed the door open. I prodded the door with my foot, causing it to rock back and forth again. It felt real. I must have found the weak spot, that’s all. I looked down and say the radio still clamped in my big mitt. “I guess I should keep this. I might be able to hear a transmission or something though it.”, I said to myself as I put the still noisy radio into my pocket. My head turned to the door down the hall. For some reason, even though I knew this tiny room would kill me, I felt safe here. But I didn’t want to die safe. I wanted to die LIVING. I walked down the hall, the lights moving back and forth slowly as I passed, my eye’s locked on the door down the hall. But with every step I felt dread fill me, as if the door I was about to get to was going to hurt me... or worse. My heart started to pound harder and harder, my palms started to sweat, my eye’s started to loose focus. I was half way there when I heard something strange. Some kind of talking, very faint but getting louder the closer I got to the door. I looked down to my pocket and listened, unmoving at the radio that was within. The sound was coming from it.

Suddenly from the corner of my eye I saw movement. Not from the door I was trying to get to, but from BEHIND me, where I had once been. I twitched as my heart started to beat quicker and I spun around to see what was there. For a split second I thought I saw the door a little more down the hall then before, as if it had moved toward me. This sight was short lived as the light above that area flashed and blew out, highlighting the shape of the door in the light of the room. The door was moving and fast. As it made it’s way down the hall, the lights blew just as it entered its range. I turned and ran, the hall blurred as I ran, both the sound of something behind me making it’s way toward me and the sound of whispering getting louder and louder from the radio in my pocket. My legs ached and my mind told me to give up and let it take me, but my body had other plans. It was close. So close that I could feel the bulbs burst just one behind the one I was running under, a unearthly scraping sound filled the air as the creature made it’s way to me. I was almost there, just a few... more... steps!

I flung the door open and quickly slammed it shut behind me, holding it closed and waiting for the creature to try and pound through it. But it didn’t. I quickly looked to my pocket and finally noticed that the radio wasn’t making any noise. Not even static. My eye’s quickly looked from the pocket to the sidewalk I was now standing on. I was outside! Looked around me, seeing nothing but gray fog blocking most of my sight. Of what I could see, I was blocking a door that connected to an unmarked building. It was small and quickly ended into completely different buildings. About 4 feet away from me the sidewalk ended into worn pavement, a road. I looked back at the door I was leaning against only to see a blank wall. I flinched away from the wall and felt it for cracks or any sign that I had just opened it. But I didn’t find a thing. I did just leave though a door, didn’t I? I took a few steps back and tripped on the curb, landing on the street butt first. I got to my feet and was about to move back to the wall when I heard some ones voice call out. I looked around, listening for any sound at all. “...llo...? ..ny .ne...?”, My head turned around to look down the street. Finally I hollered out, “HELLO! IS SOMEONE OVER THERE!!”. For a small fraction of a second I thought I had finally lost it was now just calling out for something inhuman to come and kill me.

“...hello...? ...please... over... here!” I leaned forward and smiled. Someone else was here. I wasn’t going to be alone any more! “KEEP YELLING! I’LL COME TO YOU!”, I yelled out and started to run down the foggy street. Finally. If someone else is with me, I won’t go insane. I can get out of this place! I ran as fast as I could toward the voice, almost laughing as I got closer and closer to the voice until I was almost there when I skidded to a halt and bolted back. The street had suddenly ended and I had almost fallen into the dark hole it had become. I heard the voice call out from the unseeable other side. “Hello!? Please! Anyone!?”, “Hello! Are you on the other side of this hole!?”, I yelled out. “Yes! Finally I found someone alive! Are you here to rescue me!?”, “I guess I am.”, I chuckled out, “Do you know of any way across this hole!?”, “The building next to it hasn’t fallen into the hole! You can make your way though it just like I did!”, “Why don’t you come over here!?”, I asked. There was silence and finally who ever it was answered with, “Because it was scary in there!”

I blinked and pondered this. Finally I yelled out, “Alright! I’ll make my way through there!”, I pointed at the building whoever it was must have meant, as if they could even tell what I was pointing at. “Ok! I’ll wait at the door! Don’t take too long! If they heard us they’ll be making their way here now!”, at this point I just nodded and jogged toward the building. I knew it was a bad idea to yell at all, but it was the only way to talk with whoever it was on the other side. Something must have heard us yelling, so I couldn’t waste any time. I had to get though that building as quickly as I could.

I walked up to the front door and reached toward the door. I looked around at the gray fog that surrounded and shuddered. It was like being in that room again. “Room?” I thought to myself. I was locked in a room, but when? Must have been a while ago because I can’t quite remember it... Oh well. I opened the door and stepped though, knowing full well that this was only the beginning.

Chapter 1, Escape, over.

Any kind of comments are allowed as long as they're constructive. :) (hell, any comments at all would be good. :) I hopefully got all the spelling errors and bad gramma out of there, but I'm sleepy right now so I must have missed a few (like the entire chapter ;), so give me a nudge in the direction of the stuff that I missed, ok? :D

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Very interesting. This is one of the more well-written fanfics in quite a damn while it seems. Kudos.

Though I still have some unanswered questions, like: Who captured the protagonist? Demons? I thought demons only tore their victims apart or played with them in a more direct manner than locking them in a cell.
But then again, I never played Silent Hill (don't have a console) so I wouldn't know. I just hope my question gets answered in a later chapter, so please continue this story.

Btw, my memory is a bit hazy by now - could you link me to that image you were talking about? Thanks.

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DemonDemon said:

Anyone remember when I said that the pic I made was actuall something from a fanfic I making? The Silent Hill/Doom crossover? No?

Yes. I do remember your conversion of BoH.

Thats a good example of fanfic i guess.

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Thanks. :D I tried to make the story as dark and creepy as I could. :) The next chapter will be a little clearer, as well as reveal more of the plot. I don't like to put too much plot into the begining of a story, that way I can pull surprises out of my butt later. ;)

Oh, here's the post I made with Titan, the creepy critter that's going to be in the story (he might not be in the second chapter, but he will be in the third).

I'll get right on the second chapter, as I happend upon the silent hill 2 ost so I can listen to that while writing. :D

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dsm said:

Very interesting. This is one of the more well-written fanfics in quite a damn while it seems. Kudos.

Though I still have some unanswered questions, like: Who captured the protagonist? Demons? I thought demons only tore their victims apart or played with them in a more direct manner than locking them in a cell.
But then again, I never played Silent Hill (don't have a console) so I wouldn't know. I just hope my question gets answered in a later chapter, so please continue this story.

Btw, my memory is a bit hazy by now - could you link me to that image you were talking about? Thanks.

Seconded, man.

Good work.

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Basically dude, show us, don't tell us.

Be more descriptive... really try to draw the reader into your story. Read this to yourself and think 'What would I think about this paragraph if I was the reader? Does this make sense to me? Does this explain the situation well enough, but still keeps the reader drawn into the story?'.

Don't use as many 'I + verb' statements. :)

Also, some of the story elements don't make sense. He found a radio in the wall? Ohhh okay! D: He couldn't get a way out of his cell, so the door just slammed open by itself? Ohhh okay! D: He was sent to Silent Hill to figure out why Hellspawn wasn't invading it? Ohhh okay! D: OH WAIT NO. Try and think things through so your character can come to logical solutions in the story. If your plot devices don't make sense, then don't use them.

This story is just basically weakly written. Try reading other fictional works (read: horror novels) for reference and try to make your writing better.

"My name is Teiganus Dos, Teigan for short. I was sent to this town, Silent Hill, to figure out why the hellspawn weren’t invading it."

That's the big boy way of explaining the situation!

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Oh. My. GOD. I can't believe someone actually READ the story. :D Oh and someone bumping the first chapter of this story just tells me how old it is. ^_^ I guess I should go and write the third chapter (was gonna rewrite the chapter over because it didn't 'feel' right to me.). Oh, and thanks for the incouragement. :)

As for the way the story is (confusing, weird, radio in a wall, ect.), it's just the way things happen in the story, it's not supost to make very much sence. In fact a lot of the stuff in chapter 2 and the parts I have of 3 done are a lot like this chapter.

Anyways, I guess the name of this thread should be renamed dead horse, considering the beating it's getting after being dead for a year. :D

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To clear up the confusion in the story, the answer is: play Silent Hill and you'll understand why he wrote what he did. *hugs Silent Hill*

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Heh. A year long bump. I'd better reply here before the topic gets locked. :P

Anyway, I liked all of it except for the dialogue. It was a bit bland. Other than that, it was very awesome-like!

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