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Silent Hell Chapter 2

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Greetings. :) I've shelled out more time and started to make shape Silent Hell Chapter 2 (that means I started to write it ;)! :D Anywho, unlike the dream like writing of the first chapter, I decided to do third person for a small part of the first chapter. I'm switching back to first person for the rest of the chapter, so I consider this to be more of the first part of the chapter. I tried to write it as interesting and dark as possible, but for some reason it didn't feel... right. But I'll be switching back to the same format as chapter 1 for now till the end of chapter, mostly to make it a little more immersive as well as to see if it's the writing style that motivated me before. Anywho, here's the first part of chapter 2 (I don't name chapters till I finish them, so consider it's title 'Unnamed')

The door opened, creaking slowly and painfully loud in the dark soundless hallway, Teiganus Dos peeking his head around the corner of the door. He shook his head and walked into the hallway squinting, trying to see down the hall attempting to see what was down it with only the little light that was streaming in through the door he held open. “Damn.”, he thought to himself, “No light. I’ll have to trust my own night vision until I can get some light...”, he looked around one last time and closed the door, bathing the hall in a mist of black. He stood there, listening for any kind of sound at all, anything that could be ready to strike at him while he was waiting for his eyes to get used to the light. He heard nothing.

Slowly, his eyes began to perceive a long blackened hallway, about 40 feet long with four other doors dotting the walls. Two small doors were on the left wall, one almost next to him, while the other was about halfway down the hall. Another small door was at the end of the hallway, ominously darker then the rest of it’s surroundings. Teigan didn’t like the ‘feel’ of that door. The final door was a double door which sat next to the door down the hall. “What kind of building is this?”, he thought to himself as he turned his head to the side. Finally, his eye’s got used to the darkness, allowing him to make his way though the hall.

The floor made no sound as he walked, his running shoes silently creeping along without disturbing the area it stepped onto. Teigan sighed inwardly. If he was going to meet up with that person on the other side of the building, he was going to have to move faster and that meant making noise and opening doors he didn’t want to. Specifically the one down the hall. He jogged down the hall as quietly as he could, the floor now making slight clomping sounds as his feet hit it. While not very loud, the sound made Teigan worried. He didn’t have any weapons or armor and now he was rushing around making noise instead of stealthily creeping around.

He made it to the other side of the hall and gave a quick glance back, worried something might have opened one of the doors he passed. Nothing was there. He turned his attention to the door, his heart pounding louder and louder, his palms sweating, his eye’s darting around it looking for any signs of danger. While nothing seemed dangerous, something at the back of his head told him something was wrong about the door, or whatever was behind it. He clamped his left hand into a fist and with his right, reached slowly to the handle. The door it’s self was some kind of black metal with large thick bolts holding it together, the handle it’s self was the same kind of material, only slightly off in color, like it wasn’t actually part of the door’s original design. Finally, his hand met the handle and in one quick motion, he turned it and pushed on the door, only to make a loud clang sound as he hit the door in an attempt to open it. Locked. He chuckled to himself a bit, happy that he didn’t have to worry about the door any more. His brain jumped to life and he stopped moving as he heard something behind him. His head slowly turned and looked over his shoulder only to see the hall he had walked down before, empty. He turned all the way around, turning his head from side to side trying to hear any sound at all. Nothing. “Must... have been an echo.”, he thought to himself as he took a step toward the double doors. *squeeka squeeka* His heart skipped a beat as he heard some kind of squeaking sound near his feet. He jumped back and looked down, watching for something, anything at all that could have made the sound. It was then that he saw something move toward his foot. It was about the size of his palm, with what looked like antennae coming out of it’s head, making an almost mechanical squeaking sound as it moved. He sighed, “Just someone’s toy.”, and brought his foot in to kick the thing, only to have a sharp pain enter his body as the thing jumped at his floor, attacking it somehow.

Teigan yelped and fell back into the hallway, crashing to the floor loudly, punching at the thing that was still biting his foot. His fist knocked the thing off, sending it crashing into the door he had tried to open just a few seconds ago. He growled and got to his feet, stomping toward the creature as it made it’s way back to him, squeaking. He lifted his foot and offered it to the thing, which gladly leaped back at it for seconds. Only this time he was ready and with one quick move kicked the thing down to the floor and crushed it with his foot. He grinned, “Damn bug.”, he spat out and then snapped into reality as he realized just how much time he had wasted as well as how much sound he had just made. His body moved quickly toward the double doors, smashing them open as he rushed out into the next room. His eye’s darted around and spotted a door. He had to move quickly, so without more then a thought he ran to the door and opened it up, running down the hall he found before him. His brain started to move quickly as he rushed from door to door, attempting to get to the other side of the building without even stopping to see if there was anything hostile around in the rooms and halls he entered. His brain tried to stop him, but it was no use, his body was reacting on impulse, trying to get the hell out of this place.

Finally he slammed a door open an closed his eyes as light poured into them. He was at the other side! He took a step into the small room leading out, only to find his foot hit nothing! “SHIT!”, he exclaimed as he started to fall into the hole he found. For a second, Teigan didn’t quite know why he wasn’t falling anymore. He looked down into the pit below, a gray mist clouding how far below the ground was, if at all. He looked up, and found his arm grappled onto the broken concrete behind him. He sighed and grabbed the wall behind him with his other hand, turning himself around to face the wall, and then lift himself back up onto the ledge. His arm was killing him, the back of his head hurt, and he had to take a piss. Looking back at the door, he sighed. There was no way in hell he was going to make it across the room with the entire floor gone. He yelled out, “Hey! You there!?”

He mentally slapped himself for yelling out without thinking, but oh well. “You made it to the door! Alright! I thought I had lost you!”, the voice sounded from the other side of the door. Teigan chuckled and said, “Well, there’s a little problem. There’s no floor in here, I can’t make it to the door without falling.”, he gestured his hand at the gaping hole before him as if whom ever it was on the other side of it could see. “...but I just left through there about fifteen minutes ago...”, the door on the other end of the room started to make noise as who ever it was tried to open it, “I can’t get the door open!”, “It’s... ok. I’ll find another door.”, “There isn’t any on this side of the building. You’d have to make your way to a different end of the store.”

Teigan perked up, “Store? This is a store?”, “Well, yeah. Didn’t you see the signs?”, “Um, well actually no. I must have entered though an emergency exit.” There was some silence and then the voice spoke again, this time with a sad tone in it’s voice, “I... I don’t want to be left alone here. Please, is there ANY way you can get to the door an open it?” Teigan looked around the room, seeing no other way to get across other then jump. Even if he did make the ten foot jump, there was no way in hell he was going to open the door with he was latched onto it, “No. I’m sorry but there’s no way I can make the jump. Even if I did, I would need the door to open easily.”, he sighed, “Look, it’s too dangerous just talking to each other like this. Make your way to somewhere safe and mark it with an at sign any way you can. I’ll try and find you as soon as I get out of here.”, there was a sniffing sound from behind the door and then an answer, “Ok. I’ll go hide somewhere. You... had better come find me.”, “I will. By the way, what’s your name kid?”, the voice stopped for a second and then said, “Alex. Alex Denver.”, “Nice to meet you Alex. Names Teigan.”, “Hello.”, the voice replied, a little less stressed. Teigan sighed, “Alright, go find some place to hide and mark it. I’ve gotta move before something finds me chatting with you.”, “Ok.”, Teigan turned, about to leave when he heard Alex say, “Oh yeah, do you have any kind of flashlight?”, “Well, now that you mention it, no.”, “Ok. About two rooms back from here I dropped one of my flashlights. It was still on when I ran away from some bugs that were chasing me. You may need it, so if you can get around the bugs you can have it.”, “You’re carrying a bunch of flashlights?”, “Yeah, well, I already had one but I found a bunch of them in one area of the store. I thought I would need more light so I grabbed a bunch.”, I nodded, “Smart. Never know when the battery on something will run...”, he stopped talking as he heard the radio in his pocket squawk to life, making strange distorted noises. His heart skipped a beat as he looked down the hall he had ran down to get there, but didn’t see anything. Then he realized. “Shit. Run!”, he yelled out to Alex who yelled, “Ahh! What the hell is THAT!?”, “RUN GOD DAMNIT!”, “Find me!”, Alex yelled to the door then ran off.

Teigan turned toward the door and made his way back into the hall, his heart beating faster and faster. “Shit. Damn it. I should have just told em to go and hide.”, he pounded his fist against the wall, cracking open a hole in it. His anger was quickly dissipated as he heard a familiar squeaking sound from the hole he just punched in. He looked over to the wall and then to the ceiling, as more and more squeaking sounds were heard. These bugs... they were crawling all over the inside of the walls and ceiling! Teigan sprinted down the hall as a variety of bug things started to pour their way out of the hole and along the walls and ceilings, quickly creeping toward him. His spine shivered and his heart raced as he ran as fast as he possibly could down the hall toward the door. In one quick motion, he opened, went though and slammed the door. He put his back to the door, sighing. He quickly looked at the door, but found no way for the bugs to get through. He was safe.

Or was he?

He felt something quickly grab his shoulder and with a great amount of force spun his face directly into a pair of red glowing eyes. Teigan was quick to respond by kicking out with his knee, knocking the thing away from him and in another quick trained blow, crashed the bottom of his palm directly onto the bottom of it’s jaw. The thing screeched and backed away, bringing it’s hand to it’s face, it’s eye’s burning with hatred for him. It was one of those fire-flinging freaks! Teigan quickly rushed in, attempting to kick the imp, only to have his kick blocked and his balance lost as it grabbed his leg and threw him to the ground. It’s hand suddenly lit up as a fire started to burn in it’s hand. The fire lit up it’s evil, twisted maw as it screeched out a war cry as it threw the ball of flame directly at Teigans face.

Anywho, just like last time, I'd like some feedback, mostly on how I should write this. This part of the chapter seemed a little too forced to me, but I wrote it so I can't really tell. ^^;

Coments/constructive feedback? :)

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