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doomers dead by dawn (or not)

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9:00 AM in the morning at the IRC Channel known as #doom

As far as I can remember, there has been extreme troubles at the #doom channel, and no it's not because of excessive bans from that channel, but because someone has hacked into it and have taken it over. I
have a log of proof of what happened:

CacodemonLeader: Ph33r me for this channel is no longer safe! J/K

Ralphis: Why?

ZarcyB: Huh?

CacodemonLeader: The person who was supposed to moderate this channel today is going to be away for a few days, so I took over the job for today.

Maonth: At least it isn't someone so terrible.

ZarcyB: What you say?

Maonth: I remember that AndrewB was supposed to do that task but he asked Caco to do it

Ralphis: Lets Ban him

***Ralphis was kicked out of channel #doom by CacodemonLeader (My god you are so annoying)***

***Rubilacxe connected from 13ron@aol.com***

*** +b set on Ralphis.(?)***

Rubilacxe: A warning

ZarcyB: What?!?

Maonth: Zarcy, please!

Dest-X: Same to you Moanth!

Maonth: Everyone, listen to what Rubilacxe is typing!

Esco: Yeah! Dest-X you bad!

Rubilacxe: I have a log of what has happened and apparantly some Hacker has hacked me out of the channel #Halflife and I know who it is!

***SOB connected from <unknown>***

SOB is now known as JeffK

Dest-X: Agh! Sound the alarm! He's here!

Rubilacxe: Hit the decks!

ZarcyB: I'm leaving immediately!

***Dest-X left the channel #DOOM***

***ZarcyB left the channel #DOOM***

***Esco left the channel #DOOM***

***Maonth left the channel #DOOM***

Rubilacxe: What have you done to everyone?!?

***Rubilacxe was kicked out of channel #DOOM by JeffK (I am the el33t h4><0r!)***

***CacodemonLeader was kicked out of channel #DOOM by JeffK (You will never stop me)***

*End Log*

This JeffK character was one tough dude, and it could only get worse...

Guess what happened?

Dest-X: Oh boy, another day of saying that Cacodemon Lamer sucks, it should be interesting!

(Dest-X goes to the Cacodemon Squad Message Board, only to find it has been h4><0red)

Dest-X: NOOOOOOO!!! JeffK managed to hack into Lamer's message board! It sucks more than Cacodemon Lamer!

(Dest-X goes to the Doomworld forums)

Dest-X: Aw man, the forums ceased to exist! I'm going to the #DOOMWORLD channel.

Cacodemon Leader's log of IRC on #DOOMWORLD

***Dest-X entered the channel #DOOMWORLD***

Ray_Stantz: Good, you finally made it!

ZarcyB: About time

Dr. Spengler: Heh

Lut: Now lets begin our plan. Cacodemon Lame.. er I mean Leader?

CacodemonLeader: Okay. JeffK has already destroyed our web pages, and have wrecked everything, but we have our backups, right?

X-DOOM: correct, I have always been constantly backing up my ZD3K work

Rubilacxe: And I can always download my latest version of Cube, my rip-off PC

***INTRUDER entered the channel #DOOMWORLD***

INTRUDER: Your websites aren't the only victims, because the Seriously! Forums and all Serious Sam sites have been wiped out!

Maonth: That's just great, first the DOOM websites, now the Serious Sam Websites? It's getting out of hand.

CacodemonLeader: Yes. So here is my plan:

INTRUDER: What is it?

CacodemonLeader: Patience, INTRUDER

CacodemonLeader: Some of yous are H4><0Rs, so those of you in this IRC channel which are H4><0Rs must work together to make a program with a virus inside, namely Half-Life 2.

ZarcyB: Nah, how about a better name than that

Dest-X: You really suck Cacodemon Lamer

***Dest-X was kicked out of channel #DOOMWORLD by INTRUDER (I'm a moderator of this channel you know)***

*CacodemonLeader sighs

Jon: INTRUDER, you didn't have to do that

INTRUDER: Sorry, because I react when someone says that someone sucks

Lut: Man, you are taking things too seriously like Caco Leader is.

X-DOOM: Not most of the time however.

ZarcyB: Heh

***fraggle' entered the channel #DOOMWORLD***

fraggle': somebody say virus?

CacodemonLeader: yes

Jon: We are working together to come up with a way to get JeffK to never exist anymore

fraggle': Oh

fraggle': Purpose of that is...

CacodemonLeader: For JeffK to ceast to exist

fraggle': Try as you want but it won't work, but as part of the project you guys are planning on him, how about we use my DOOM Source Port SMMU?

ZarcyB: K

Jon: If it's going to help

X-DOOM: We shall be victorious!

***Dest-X entered the channel #DOOMWORLD***

CacodemonLeader: Uhoh

fraggle': Uhoh what?

Lut: I think Caco said uhoh when Dest-X entered the channel

Dest-X: Yes, and Cacodemon Lamer is going to suck on the project!

INTRUDER: Watch what you say, or else you will be banned from this channel!

***The Trasher entered the channel #DOOMWORLD***

***Esco entered the channel #DOOMWORLD***

CacodemonLeader: Okay, now lets get started!

Esco: Yeah! Dat peep JeffK should not deserve to hack into none of yo computers.

The Trasher: Okay

Dest-X: Seriously JeffK is now bad news since he almost wrecked all of the FPS games out there.

CacodemonLeader: Heh

...A Few days later...

Jon: Me and fraggle' finished the executable.

Esco: Done mine WAD for da trap.

Dest-X: Okay, submit everything to me and me and Cacodemon Lamer will find a way to bribe JeffK.

The Trasher: I'd let you allow me to be with you guys if I were you

Dest-X: Alright

Lut: Hope it works

***CacodemonLeader left the channel #DOOMWORLD***

***The Trasher left the channel #DOOMWORLD***

***Dest-X left the channel #DOOMWORLD***

***JeffK entered channel #DOOMWORLD***

fraggle': It's you!

JeffK: How are you blah blah blah? All you blah blah blah. You are on the blah blah blah.

INTRUDER: Does not make any sense

JeffK: I started running the program that Cacodemon Lamer, Dest-X and The Trasher have sent me

Jon: Mwahahahaha

JeffK: Why you laughing like that

Esco: There is a virus in that program, to disable your l33t h4><0ring sk1llz!

JeffK: NOOOOOOOOO!!! Now I cannot H4><0R!

***CacodemonLeader entered the channel #DOOMWORLD***

CacodemonLeader: Quick INTRUDER, Kick JeffK off this channel and Ban him!


***JeffK was kicked out by INTRUDER (SO LONG YOU UNL33T H4><0R!)***

*** +b set on JeffK (?)***

CacodemonLeader: Game Over!

*** Dest-X entered the channel #DOOMWORLD***

*** The Trasher entered the channel #DOOMWORLD***

Dest-X: Is JeffK...

The Trasher: Gone?

CacodemonLeader: Yes

INTRUDER: Definately

ZarcyB: All Right!

Jon: Lets go to the DOOM Veterans Forum for a celebration

ZarcyB: Oh Great, I forgot. DOOM Veterans is no more.

Esco: Uh-Oh Zarcy, you bad

Dr. Spengler: It will be a while for us to recover what was removed

Linguica: Yes, JeffK is sure terrible, he ruined DOOMWorld!

fraggle': Don't worry, I bet the sites that are hosting us are making him fixing up everything to the way it was before

Ray_Stantz: I wonder what JeffK is doing...

Lut: Probably sulking after we foiled his plans

* End of Log *

JeffK's Log after being kicked out

<warnings stuff>

You are banned from that channel


You are banned from that channel

* End of Log *

JeffK: WAAAAAAAAAH! I'm finished! Now what am I going to do now that my plans have been foiled? What's that? An ICQ message? AGH! It's a bunch of threats from many, even from the person who
hated Mordeth!

And so, JeffK has lost, and the Doomers were close to being dead by dawn by the evil JeffK.

End of the line.

At the channel #DOOM, AndrewB returns.

***AndrewB entered the channel #DOOM***

AndrewB: I'm back

CacodemonLeader: We've been having quite a time at this channel

Dest-X: Yeah JeffK almost obliterated this channel

AndrewB: And I suppose you guys took the hard way to get rid of him

CacodemonLeader: Huh?

Lut: What do you mean?

AndrewB: You should have used the Hack Protection system, but since I never told you about that Caco I think you should know about it

CacodemonLeader: kay

AndrewB: Head for the channel #DOOMWORLD and I will tell you more about it, so H4><0rs will not harm the #DOOM channel in the future

***CacodemonLeader moves to channel #DOOMWORLD***

* End of log *

And with JeffK gone, the channel #DOOM was back to life, but still a long way from being recovered to what it was before. All the sites have recovered since we all have backed up our stuff, and JeffK got what he deserved. The End.

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Interesting quote. Nice song by Deicide also, I still think deicide should do doom 3's music, or atleast have a song in it.

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look, it's a fake IRC log!

we must use our 1336 h4x0r1n6 5k1ll2 to remove it!

* Katgut deletes the Internet

oops, there went all your dolphin porn, Lut...

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my only consolation is that one day several years from now you will remember writing this and realise how utterly utterly stupid it is. and you will cry yourself to sleep at night in pain.

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