Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Sephiroth

dumb messages

Recommended Posts

well we all know about this one
"keyboard not found! press F1"

but there are many, many many more
favorite today was
"if you are useing a touch tone phone, press 1. If not press 2"

on the back of some horribly shitty CD-r's there is a lable.
"not responsible for dataloss due to use of this product. Do not use for bootlegging!" yes they are the cheapest of the cheap, no case and just 100 of them shrink wraped.

on a needle/sharps box in a hospital
"may contain AIDS"

however my best one is
"bag is not a toy"

on blockbuster DVD's and games
"please rewind"

on a porn movie called "tunnle of lust"
"contians pornographic material"

Share this post


Link to post

On a blanket from Taiwan:
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO

On a European camera:
THIS CAMERA WILL ONLY WORK WHEN FILM IS INSIDE.

On a Liquid Plummer:
WARNING: DO NOT REUSE THE BOTTLE TO STORE BEVERAGES.

On a toilet plunger:
CAUTION: DO NOT USE NEAR POWER LINES.

On a Little Ones baby lotion:
KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN

On hair coloring:
DO NOT USE AS AN ICE CREAM TOPPING.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by U.S. cyclists:
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU

On a Taiwanese shampoo:
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE

On a bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink:
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT

On a New Zealand insect spray can:
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS

On a Sears hairdryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING

On a bar of Dial soap:
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING

On a Korean kitchen knife:
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY

On a Japanese food processor:
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS

On a child's superman costume:
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY

On some frozen dinners:
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
FITS ONE HEAD

On Nytol® Nighttime Sleep-Aid:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS

Share this post


Link to post

Given what happened last year in my town, a disposable barbeque should carry this message:

NOTE: MEAT MUST BE PURCHASED SEPARATELY

as an idiot walked into the Kwik-Save in the middle of town, got a disposal barbecue and complained when he found it had no meat with it!

(an absolute classic!)

Share this post


Link to post

DO NOT PUSH sign on a steamroller. 'nuff said.

Share this post


Link to post
Sephiroth said:

well we all know about this one
"keyboard not found! press F1"

I thought it was press F10.

Share this post


Link to post
Sephiroth said:

well we all know about this one
"keyboard not found! press F1"

Which is not stupid at all. The computer won't function until a keyboard is present, so it tells the user to plug in a keyboard and press F1 to signal when he's ready to continue.

Share this post


Link to post

On a packet of nuts:
WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS.

On a Marks & Spencer crisp (i.e. potato chips) packet:
TO OPEN, PUT APART.

On a cut-out-and-somehow-assemble-yourself coffee mug made out of paper in Viz comic:
FOR BEST RESULTS DO NOT USE WITH LIQUIDS.

Share this post


Link to post
Grazza said:

On a packet of nuts:
WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS.

That's not all that dumb. Peanuts aren't actualy nuts themselves.

You see, some people have alergic reactions to nuts but not peanuts. Peanuts are often made in the same factory as nuts so there is a small chance of mixture. Thus the package is warning people about that.

Share this post


Link to post

Okay, first my posts dissapear for one reason or another, and now ones that I cancelled are coming back from the dead and posting themselves. WTF

Share this post


Link to post

Life saving device
This is NOT a life saving device!!!

Unknown Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

McDonald's in Johnson City, NY
Parking for drive-thru service only

Lime Kiln Park, Grafton, WI
Soccer not allowed. Soccer may only be played in archery range.

Japanese GameCube Instruction Manual
Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury

found at Dumb Warnings

Share this post


Link to post

Kraft Velveeta Cheese: Note:This product is cheese, velveeta cheese is made only from the purest cheese, cheese is a dairy product, people with allergy's to dairy products must not eat cheese if it's made from a dairy product." I found this on an old Velveeta cheese package in the ninteen eighties

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×