Sephiroth Posted December 2, 2003 well we all know about this one "keyboard not found! press F1" but there are many, many many more favorite today was "if you are useing a touch tone phone, press 1. If not press 2" on the back of some horribly shitty CD-r's there is a lable. "not responsible for dataloss due to use of this product. Do not use for bootlegging!" yes they are the cheapest of the cheap, no case and just 100 of them shrink wraped. on a needle/sharps box in a hospital "may contain AIDS" however my best one is "bag is not a toy" on blockbuster DVD's and games "please rewind" on a porn movie called "tunnle of lust" "contians pornographic material" 0 Share this post Link to post
Sharessa Posted December 2, 2003 Sephiroth said:on a needle/sharps box in a hospital "may contain AIDS" ROFL 0 Share this post Link to post
fraggle Posted December 2, 2003 http://fraggle.alkali.org/img/stupid_windows/ 0 Share this post Link to post
Ichor Posted December 2, 2003 On a blanket from Taiwan: NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO On a European camera: THIS CAMERA WILL ONLY WORK WHEN FILM IS INSIDE. On a Liquid Plummer: WARNING: DO NOT REUSE THE BOTTLE TO STORE BEVERAGES. On a toilet plunger: CAUTION: DO NOT USE NEAR POWER LINES. On a Little Ones baby lotion: KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN On hair coloring: DO NOT USE AS AN ICE CREAM TOPPING. On a helmet mounted mirror used by U.S. cyclists: REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU On a Taiwanese shampoo: USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE On a bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink: AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT On a New Zealand insect spray can: THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS On a Sears hairdryer: DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING On a bar of Dial soap: DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box): DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING On a Korean kitchen knife: WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY On a Japanese food processor: NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. On Sainsbury's peanuts: WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS On an American Airlines packet of nuts: INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS On a child's superman costume: WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY. On a Swedish chainsaw: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD On Nytol® Nighttime Sleep-Aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS 0 Share this post Link to post
The Ultimate DooMer Posted December 3, 2003 Given what happened last year in my town, a disposable barbeque should carry this message: NOTE: MEAT MUST BE PURCHASED SEPARATELY as an idiot walked into the Kwik-Save in the middle of town, got a disposal barbecue and complained when he found it had no meat with it! (an absolute classic!) 0 Share this post Link to post
Scabbed Angel Posted December 3, 2003 The fact that these messages exist really makes you wonder about your collective species. 0 Share this post Link to post
DooMBoy Posted December 3, 2003 Warning: Warnings may be used on dangerous objects and/or items 0 Share this post Link to post
Fletcher` Posted December 3, 2003 DO NOT PUSH sign on a steamroller. 'nuff said. 0 Share this post Link to post
alexz721 Posted December 3, 2003 Sephiroth said:well we all know about this one "keyboard not found! press F1" I thought it was press F10. 0 Share this post Link to post
Fredrik Posted December 3, 2003 Sephiroth said:well we all know about this one "keyboard not found! press F1"Which is not stupid at all. The computer won't function until a keyboard is present, so it tells the user to plug in a keyboard and press F1 to signal when he's ready to continue. 0 Share this post Link to post
Shadow Wolf Posted December 3, 2003 on a coffee mug: caution contents may be hot 0 Share this post Link to post
Grazza Posted December 3, 2003 On a packet of nuts: WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS. On a Marks & Spencer crisp (i.e. potato chips) packet: TO OPEN, PUT APART. On a cut-out-and-somehow-assemble-yourself coffee mug made out of paper in Viz comic: FOR BEST RESULTS DO NOT USE WITH LIQUIDS. 0 Share this post Link to post
DooMBoy Posted December 3, 2003 Seen on a box of ice cream: BEST IF EATEN COLD 0 Share this post Link to post
Sharessa Posted December 3, 2003 Grazza said:On a packet of nuts: WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS. That's not all that dumb. Peanuts aren't actualy nuts themselves. You see, some people have alergic reactions to nuts but not peanuts. Peanuts are often made in the same factory as nuts so there is a small chance of mixture. Thus the package is warning people about that. 0 Share this post Link to post
insertwackynamehere Posted December 3, 2003 I know what you're talking about (my brother has allergies) but he didn't say "peanuts" 0 Share this post Link to post
Sharessa Posted December 3, 2003 Okay, first my posts dissapear for one reason or another, and now ones that I cancelled are coming back from the dead and posting themselves. WTF 0 Share this post Link to post
Reisal Posted December 4, 2003 Life saving device This is NOT a life saving device!!! Unknown Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow Dremel Electric Rotary Tool This product not intended for use as a dental drill. McDonald's in Johnson City, NY Parking for drive-thru service only Lime Kiln Park, Grafton, WI Soccer not allowed. Soccer may only be played in archery range. Japanese GameCube Instruction Manual Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury found at Dumb Warnings 0 Share this post Link to post
Manga Girl Marchelle Posted December 5, 2003 Kraft Velveeta Cheese: Note:This product is cheese, velveeta cheese is made only from the purest cheese, cheese is a dairy product, people with allergy's to dairy products must not eat cheese if it's made from a dairy product." I found this on an old Velveeta cheese package in the ninteen eighties 0 Share this post Link to post