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fraggle

425m year old penis found

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God, when I first read the topic line, I thought it meant 425meters.

Heh.

I have never believed in carbon dating and whatnot, personally I think the world is only a few thousand years old, not millions.

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Ah yeah, here we go again!
Damn! This is some funky shit that I be laying down on your ass.
This one goes out to all my homey's working in the field of
evolutionary science.
Check it!

Fuck the damn creationists, those bunch of dumb-ass bitches,
every time I think of them my trigger finger itches.
They want to have their bullshit, taught in public class,
Stephen J. Gould should put his foot right up their ass.
Noah and his ark, Adam and his Eve,
straight up fairy stories even children don't believe.
I'm not saying there's no god, that's not for me to say,
all I'm saying is the Earth was not made in a day.

Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck the Creationists.

Break it down.
Ah damn, this is a funky jam!
I'm about ready to kick this bitch back in.
Check it.

Fuck the damn creationists I say it with authority,
because kicking their punk asses be me paramount priority.
Them wack-ass bitches say, "evolution's just a theory",
they best step off, them brainless fools, I'll give them cause to fear me.
The cosmos is expanding every second, every day,
but their minds are shrinking as they close their eyes and pray.
They call their bullshit science like the word could give them cred,
if them bitches be scientists then cap me in the head.

Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck the Creationists.

Bass!
Bring that shit in!
Ah yeah, that's right, fuck them all motherfuckers.
Fucking punk ass creationists trying to set scientific thought back 400 years.
Fuck that!
If them superstitious motherfuckers want to have that kind of party,
I'm going to put my dick in the mashed potatoes.
Fucking creationists.
Fuck them.

- MC Hawking

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Not to be confused with Stephen Hawkings.

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man i would love to be named "astounding swimmer with a large penis" but i think 1/3 of my body size is too big for a dick. then i would be a tri-pod, it would be a babies arm holding an apple.

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E-gad.

I suddenly had the disturbing image of the ghost Charles Darwin beating a cremationist over the head with a fossilized penis... and image that will no doubt stay with me until the day I die.

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Even most creationists don't believe the planet is only a "few thousand years" old, more like a few tens of thousands.

We have firm, undeniable evidence of human civilization dating back to 5,000 BC (Egyptians, Babylonians, Sumerians, etc), and less reliable but still good evidence of civilization as far back as 9,000 BC (e.g. the Mesopotamians). We've also got evidence of early hunting camps in places such as Alaska dating back to 25,000 BC.

Clearly these civilizations can't have appeared from nowhere, so that extends the date back even further. If you believe in Adam and Eve, it would have taken their descendants the best part of 1,000 years to reach even 1 million in number.

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It's funny to see a Creationist (especially the few-thousand-years variety) from "Gondwanaland's remnant". Still, I'm sure someone has cooked up a Creation-compatible explanation for New Zealand's almost total lack of native mammals.

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Simple, god hates new zeland because they filmed the two towers there, and the two towers is an insult to the world trade center attack, and the world trade center was in america, which is one nation under god, and god secretly wanted the world trade center attack to happen because it was entirley full of gay people, so therefore he didnt put any native animals on new zeland so that gay people would realise that the two towers was going to be filmed there, and stay away from the world trade center, and when it got blown up they'd go "wow, its a good thing i wasnt in there, i better turn straight now because god saved me from dying and going to hell"

And that is what really happened

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Lord of the Rings began filming 1999 so how can it be an insult to the 2001 World Trade Centre attack? You fool!

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fraggle said:

Ah yeah, here we go again!

:D <3

redpants said:

I suddenly had the disturbing image of the ghost Charles Darwin beating a cremationist over the head with a fossilized penis

Those damn cremationists! Why don't they bury their dead in the ground like everyone else!?

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Lord of the Rings began filming 1999 so how can it be an insult to the 2001 World Trade Centre attack? You fool!


Yeah, but god put all those dinosaur skeletons that are millions of years old in the ground even though the earth is only 5000 years old to test our faith, its so simple when you make shit up on the spot and beat anyone who doesnt agree to death! XD

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Sephiroth said:

man i would love to be named "astounding swimmer with a large penis" but i think 1/3 of my body size is too big for a dick. then i would be a tri-pod, it would be a babies arm holding an apple.

ROFL!

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deathbringer said:

Yeah, but god put all those dinosaur skeletons that are millions of years old in the ground even though the earth is only 5000 years old to test our faith, its so simple when you make shit up on the spot and beat anyone who doesnt agree to death! XD

the_Danarchist said:

Those damn cremationists! Why don't they bury their dead in the ground like everyone else!?

LOL X 2. Why do people have problems with carbon dating? Most "creationists" I've met are ignorant christians in their middle ages who are too close minded to understand that the bible and science can go hand in hand. Obviously the world was not created in 7 days, 7 is a significant number used often in biblical metaphors. Where dinos mentioned in the bible? I don't remember reading that in genesis. God-bored-world-light-plants-animals-lonely-adam-lonely-eve-gullible whore-satan-eden's magical prankster snake-- no dinos. Also, there are a lot of christian who believe that snakes are inheriently evil because of something God may or may not have inspired to stop annoying humans from asking "Where did me come from, why is the sky blue, why doesn't Eve have a penis, etc."

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Why do people have problems with carbon dating?


Apparently its something to do with mount st helens (obviosuly a volcano from outside america will have been corrupted by a commie liberal influence), and the fact that even though it erupted in the 70's the rock that came out is millions of years old, and christians think that thats a reason for disproving carbon dating, because they cant accept that the rocks where already millions of years old, and werent suddenly created, brand-new from the volcano XD

the bible and science can go hand in hand


I dont belive in that, science is right, the bible is a story written by rich people to keep peasants in line in the ancient middle east XD

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Uh, you do realise that the bible was at the time viewed as heretical by the governments of most Middle Eastern countries, right? (still is in some of them)

You're on the right lines though. The more recent (in relative terms, obviously) versions of the bible contain various additions and alterations written by rich people to keep peasants in line in medieval Europea :)

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Bah. Fuck science I say. I just find the evolution theory too hard to believe in. Hell, even the religious creation "theories" are more believeable IMO.


It's just my opinion though. There's no use in speaking against the evolution theory or anything else. All it brings is arguing.



but wait... I already spoke against both of them... sorta. Damn, this is hard...

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Heh, the thing is most of the evolution "theory" is not theory at all, it's fact :)

For example if we were all created from nothingness, what would be the point in DNA?

And the existence of DNA is a fact, unless you believe genetic engineering is all a big hoax, and people who supposedly have their DNA compared to see if they're closely related are actually part of some massive conspiracy ;)

Why's it so hard to believe in anyway? The members of a species who've inherited the best DNA from their parents survive, the ones who've got the weakest DNA die out. Over billions of years this results in the species radically changing from what it once was.

Of course it's likely that there'll be more than one fork of development for any given species. I mean, there were once at least two species of humans living at the same time, unless you believe Neanderthals are a big scam too =P

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I think science and religion can go hand in hand. For example, science thinks that hallucinations are schizophrenic, whereas spiritualism suggests that hallucinations are the manifestations of ghosts and demons. I think that there is a chemical in the human brain, that is stronger in some than in others that allows some to "see" into the spirit world. A small enough amount that one could only catch glimpses, but some people don't. I thin adaptive evolution explains this: In biblical times, things were still pretty technically simplistic. Perhaps as the human brain needed to focus more on "logic", the chemical required to see spirits decreased, allowing for science to hand a broader spectrum in the human mind. This would explain why in the bible, from a scientific perspective, spirits and demons "seemed more abundant". I think we just learned not to, and those that do just have traces of what may have at one time been an abundant resource in our brains. [/exhale]

Just a thought though. Both science and religion are here for some reason, I just think it make sense that they go hand in hand.

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Scabbed Angel said:

...the bible and science can go hand in hand. Obviously the world was not created in 7 days, 7 is a significant number used often in biblical metaphors. Where dinos mentioned in the bible? I don't remember reading that in genesis. God-bored-world-light-plants-animals-lonely-adam-lonely-eve-gullible whore-satan-eden's magical prankster snake-- no dinos. Also, there are a lot of christian who believe that snakes are inheriently evil because of something God may or may not have inspired to stop annoying humans from asking "Where did me come from, why is the sky blue, why doesn't Eve have a penis, etc."

The Bible and Scientology cannot go hand-in-hand.

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Colymbosathon ecplecticos

Heh.

Job said:

The Bible and Scientology cannot go hand-in-hand.

That is untrue. My beliefs state that god created evolution. Booya!

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ravage said:

Heh.

That is untrue. My beliefs state that god created evolution. Booya!

And check-mate.

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Nothing wrong with that, save for interference.

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carbon dateing is not effective before a certian time. like 500 years to 50,000 years (just an example, not really sure of the time frame) any time before or after is gonna give funky results.

ironicly i do like the bible for reasons involving history. it is a mish mash of cultures and once you understand that it can be a good thing. taking it too seriouly is a bad idea.

i mean christianity is little more than numerous cultures mashed into one, and heck not even just one. how many sects of christianity, and all other religions, are there?

large animals are mentioned in the bible at points. however almost not of those would be alive today. many went extinct. mammoths, a few elephant types, wolly rinos, and other large animals of the end of the last ice age, 10,000 years ago.
our species is around 250,000 years old, infact it may be older. we have co-exsisted with other hominids too. homo erectus and homo sapien N. (neanderthals) where a few, more are very possible. so estimates i have read have stated modern humans may be even as old as 400,000 years old. however i think 300,000 years old.

if adam and eve where the parents of our race we would be so inbred... well it would be good. however a mass extenction almost wiped us out, numbers may have been as low as 1000 to only about 3000. thus explains why there is only 1 known mitochondrial line in humans. infact we show less genetic differences than a small group of chimps

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