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Vulpine DOOM: the story

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Erm, the basic plot for my project so far. Input? Things can change, even dramamtically, so suggestions would be helpful. And no, the animal characters stay, so don't suggest kicking them out -_-;;. Since it's a really rough plot basis, there's shifts in telling and sidenotes everywhere. Err, so, is it a good base?....

Terra (Earth after humans pretty much obliterate themselves) is home to the ancestors of evolved basic Earth creatures (some differences, specie hybrids, that sort of thing). After building a fairly modern civilization, there's the growing problem of lifespan (rodent species most of all). Trying to find a solution, a mutagen is developed, but causes insanity, hostility, ect. The first test subjects broke loose, killing a few scientists, wounded many, but was contained. Your military unit is called in as a preventitive for further 'complications'. All on the project and your unit are given an experimental vaccine which prevents the effects of the mutagen. For the next few days, things go pretty well in the labs, but the mutagen is still failing and turning subjects into feral beasts. The day started routinely, and ended so. Until the power started to flicker. So someone from your unit had to volunteer to 'escort' the small party of engineers and two scientists to repair the generator. You decided to go, as you'd been fairly sleepless since arriving. So, while the rest of the unit sleeps, you have to babysit. Reaching the generator's housing, the two scientists split into seperate groups, each to cover two of the four main generators (note: the generators power the labs, the homes of the scienists and their families, and the outpost. If one generator is disabled, power output is lowered, but not ceased. Independant systems *shrug*). You follow the first group. Generator 1 and 2 are working normally. Your group heads back to rejoin the second group, but you head to watch the enterance. The scientist and engineers continue forward into the gloom (the place is large, and the lighting is poor. Saves budget). You minutes pass slowly, left to your boredom. Then, against the drone of machinery, you hear something.... commotion? You cautiously investigate, eyes, ears and nose alert. Near generator 3's housing, you smell it. The pungent aroma of blood. Further you find the first body, an engineer. The corpse is badly mangled, claw and teeth marks puncturing the clothing and skin. (to be continued)

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I'm really bored... so I'll just put down whatever comes to mind here...
First of all a question: this project is a TC right? Out of curiosty, which source port are you using (if any).

Ok, on to the story...
With what you have there is a lot of room for story development. Sadly, the Doom engine doesn't support in-game story development all to well. Well, there was that Tei Tanga TC that found a way to work past that a bit. Anyway... this sounds like a premise that could be filled out like System Shock 2 was (great game if you've never played it). As far as gameplay goes... if this serum is causing the test subjects to go crazy (mental de-evolution?), then these subjects would be incredibly territorial and hostile... it isn't too likely that they would work together... in fact they would prabably attack each other as intensly as they attack you.

What exactly is the purpose of this serum in the first place... when I'm bored, I get dense, so could you please explain it in more detail?

This is my opinionated opinion on the details of the story, and you shouldn't feel obligated to even look at this part... it makes some big changes to your story...
First of all, I don't like the fact that (once again) the main character is a military officer. This is one of the most commony used protagonist molds. Instead of this I would like to see the main character be one of the test subjects. For whatever reason, the protagonist is poked and prodded and injected with all sorts of chemicals in order to gain data for the creation of this serum. One of the first subjects, his/her dosage of the serum/mutagen was lesser than what the later subjects recieved. It makes the him/her much more aggressive and increases the animal senses it has, but since the dosage was lesser (or didn't have the exact chemical make-up of the later used treatments) his/her sanity is still mostly intact. Like a de-evolution of the mind.
The main character escapes, and starts wreaking havoc on scientists and innocents alike. Several other test subjects escape as well. They too seek revenge, but are fully willing to attack the main character as well. Back in the lab, a few of the scientists and the military that has been trying to protect the populace use the mutagen to enhance another creature like the main character. It's purpose is to destroy the threat of the released test subjects, and to prevent it from going out of control, there is an explosive device implanted at the base of it's skull. It is released and is every bit as destructive as the main character, if not more so. It is stronger and faster, and after an initial confrontation with the main character, is obsessed with the main character's death.

What I have just written also has a lot of room to expand/change/etc. It's just what I would personally like to see, your idea is probably what more people would like to see, though. So, yeah...

Just a thought...

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Yay, I was hoping for a reply! In answer to questions...

Yes, the project is going to be a TC. At least if I can get some mappers slated to help. I can't map anything if my life depended on it. Although once I did manage to make a hallway, then a room with a reeeally steep drop... still bit, but hey. Source ports... I want to see if it can be compatable with ZDOOM. Basically, it doesn't hate my computer, which is a good thing.

Story: yes, lotsa room for plot development, and nowhere to put it ^_^. After the text intro (if anyone -reads- it), things should become fairly easy to put into place. That's one reason I -really- want to use the maps like DOOM had (not DOOM2)... makes things a bit easier. The little mini-town that's was the home to the families of the scientists and the like is going to likely be a group of levels in itself. Going to be a slaughterhouse, to be sure.
As for the serum, the subjects go pretty feral. However, if they are of similar specie (such as wolves or other large canids), they would likely form a loose pack at least. Harder to explain for beasts such as mustelids (skunks, weasels, ect) or rodents. All would likely harbor a deep hatred for their captors and seek them malice, not eating their afflicted kin and tolerating them, so as to seek revenge on their captors. The purpose of the mutagen itself was to find a way to prolong lifespan. Granted, it kinda backfired, but if you were a rodent in this world (even in an evolved state), you would be likely to live about 10 years -maximum-. Canids are usually luckier, living about 20-25 years. The rodents care about this research more than most species for that reason.
The main character is in a military position partialy because of tradition, secondly because it seemed like a good idea at the time, and lastly.... in this storyline, most of the non-military critters are prey species, so they'd likely panic. And likely not know how to handle weapons very well.... the the researchers can likely handle things such as tranquilizer guns, but given a rocket, they'd be likely to gib themselves. A rabbit with a machine gun.... *sighs* -that- would be pretty weird (and given DOOM's ending, ironic ^_-). Your idea is pretty interesting too, though, about being one of them... maybe if I go with my idea this time, after it's finished, swap some things, tweak some files... time to wreak some havoc and play with the civies and scientists!

I'll keep the ideas in mind ^_^ now to finialize the bloody lab's basic design...
Oh, and who ate the engineer? Turns out the vaccine doesn't help if you were infected to begin with. Strategic placement of scientist bit in the first melee ^_^. The effects can be dormant for a bit, but they surface with a vengance....

-Red Warrior, who thought it'd be really nifty for the generators to have big, moving cogs. Mostly because one's broken, and you can have it broke 'cause a beastie jammed a certain engineer into it..... too bad it'd look horrible with sprites

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I love you.

I could sit back and watch this situation all day.

Don't look at me like that... I just watched all 26 episodes and both movies of Neon Genesis Evangelion in one sitting... my sense of perception is just a little altered at the moment... it's not like I'm a complete freak... I hope...

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This reminds me of an Alan Dean Foster fantasy where a human ends up in a parallell universe where animals are intelligent. It was an interesting twist on an old subject and very well done. The book was a good read.

If you want a story done (not that you couldn't do one yourself; you seem to have writing skills) let me know. It might be fun writing a story with animal characters.

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