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Cyb

Doom 3 GONE GOLD! (APRIL FOOLS)

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wavejet said:

Oh yeah, Fuck doomworld for putting up fake news. Stupid dickheads!

And with this quote, I am now 95% certan that wavejet is w@velength

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DooMBoy said:
And with this quote, I am now 95% certan that wavejet is w@velength


His IP (an AOL proxy) matches the one used by Csonicgo, KingKill33 and netnomad312.

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I'm suppose to laugh, right? Sorry, can't force myself.

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wavejet said:

Oh yeah, Fuck doomworld for putting up fake news. Stupid dickheads!


To newdoom.com with you!

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Freelook has been removed.

Does this mean that I'll not be able to use a mouse any more? Shit! I just got used to looking up and down with a mouse. Ah, well. I'll go back to my old keyboarding ways.

All weapons and ammo have been removed. You get one weapon which has infinite ammo.

While I don't think it's a good idea to restrict the game to just one weapon, it'll be cool if that weapon is an all-powerful gun. Something like a BFG 999990. With infinite ammo I think I'm going to enjoy DooM3. I'll just blast my way through the game and send every one of those hell-spawn back to the abyss.

Btw, does Carmack mean that the fist won't be available, or does he mean the fist will be the only available weapon (as, technically, it does have infinite ammo)? I'll be real bummed if that's what he meant. Plus I'll have to sharpen my Tyson skills.

The armor system has been totally revamped...it makes you walk slower. We felt that this adds to the immersiveness of the game

Man, that will add a completely new dimension of realism to the game. Hope Carmack makes it so the player becomes clumsy when armor is worn. I've tried medieval armor on, and it definitely made me walk slower and more clumsily. Btw, is the armor in DooM3 going to look like medieval armor or something else?

Monsters have been reworked to all look like versions of John Romero

This is a truly exciting development, and I hope you guys aren't making this up. When I first played DooM2 I was terrified by the Icon of Sin, and always wondered what was behind its incredible evil. Many, many years later, when I discovered cheat codes I walked through that terrible demonic visage only to discover the true horror behind. (That experience made me swear never to use cheat codes again.) Reintroducing John Romero as the only type of monster in DooM3 will make the game a patently terrifying experience.

All the maps have been reworked to be 100% pitch black.

Now I know you guys must be kidding. No one has ever dared to make a game totally dark. Just think, they're leaving everything up to the imagination of the player. What dark fantasies lurk in our minds, just awaiting the opportunity to burst forth in screaming agonies on the computer screen? If they do this, then id would claim the unquestioned title to being gods among men.

I can't wait for DooM3 to be released. You said it's "gone gold". Does that mean the CDs they sell the game in are going to be made of gold? In that case I might not be able to afford it for a really long time. I'd have to mow the neighbors' lawns for at least six months, and get another paper delivery route to make more money. I wonder if I'll have enough energy to play the game when I buy it. Ah, well, I'll just stock up on caffeine.

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JoelMurdoch said:

No, really?

C'mon cyb, I can't believe you of all people couldn't have done better than this... ;)


I didn't put that headline there, someone added it last night after I went to sleeeep

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Heh, maybe whoever changed it thought it was so blatant already that it couldn't get worse :P

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I changed it because it's no longer April 1 and there's no point even momentarily tricking anyone who happens to see it late.

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Doom Dude said:

No

So the best advice for someone who doesn't like Doomworld isn't to seek an alternate site and stick with the place he hates instead? 'Caus it seems to me it would be.

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NiGHTMARE said:

So the best advice for someone who doesn't like Doomworld isn't to seek an alternate site and stick with the place he hates instead? 'Caus it seems to me it would be.


No, thats ok advice. He just seemed a bit on the nasty side. :p

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<Cyb> lolz

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I guess the person who changed the headline will forever remain a mystery

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Cyb said:

I didn't put that headline there, someone added it last night after I went to sleeeep


I noticed that. The whole article was clever in one way (id to have a history of designing a game one way and then massively simplifying it) but all in all it was just a little too obvious.

Something more plausible like a fight at id causing Carmack to leave, Carmack quitting for some other reason like pressure from a wife/gf... something along those lines would've sucked more people in if done right. It probably would've gotten me as I pay zero attention to dates and holidays.

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I have the following minor critisms:

1. It was a little lame adding a big April Fools post when doomworld already had an April Fools gimmick.
2. Adding (APRIL FOOLS) to the headline is stupidity. The headline "Doom 3 Goes Gold" itself should be obvious that it's a joke.

Besides that, come on, people. You didn't find a shred of humour? The freelook thing alone was worth it.
You know what, screw it. It's funnier that so many of you took it seriously.

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Skeletor said:

this post should go to post hell.


Thanks for that heartfelt contribution to the community.

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DooMBoy said:

And with this quote, I am now 95% certan that wavejet is w@velength


No, more like some idiot trying to get me into hot water. But it's obviously an imposter because I have never posted anything even remotely that stupid. In fact, I'm content that I have never posted anything stupid, period. I am not a troll, after all; simply a harbringer of change and thought.

This guy is just an example of the type of people who follow me around, and how low people will go to fuel an old vendetta. Congratulations "wavejet", "Csonicgo", "KingKill33" and "netnomad312"; you will be forgotten in a few days time, and I'll continue banging my girlfriend in my new apartment.

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Damon said:

you will be forgotten in a few days time, and I'll continue banging my girlfriend in my new apartment.

INCREDIBLE POST. I LOVE IT

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