the doomguy's past

[Sephiroth]

A man boards a military frigate headed for the various UAC bases on mars and it 2 moons. He is tall with dark short hair and is wearing armor unlike the rest. His face is sturn and scared, and his eyes look stright ahead as he he was in deep thought. On his left arm a tatoo with the name DOOM in blood red letters fallowed by major battles he had been in. "Hey soldier were are you headed?" a private ask him. The man glares down as if annoyed and replies. "First i am commander, private! Second i am headed to phobos with the rest of you bastards."
"Sorry sir. Commander what is your name or do we all call you commander doom?" ask the foolish private fallowed by other vioces with the same question.
"Sir i have heard of your great victories and bravery. It will be an honnor to serve you." another soldier proudly says on the other side of the room.
"Listen up maggots!! I will be one of your commanders on this mission. You must address me as commander and if I like you call me DOOM. Is that clear? I will inform you of our mission before we land on Phobos." doom then sits back down and goes to sleep as the frigate begins its week long voyage. Doom soon remebers his past while he sleeps. He remebers being a normal child at the age of 12 playing with his friends in a vilage in albania. He remebered his parents and the others that lived with him in the large bunker they used as a house. Doom also began to remeber the war that changed it all. first it started in the small country to the southeast of his village, about 15 miles. He remebers how his paerents and the other adults went away to train just in case of an attack. Though like most children life went on. Soon the children began to be moved away to the north for saftey and the bunker was slowly being stock with weapons. Soldiers often came to stay and even train. Finaly the first tragic day arrived when they where attacked. Dooms parents where sent into battle and died. The invadeing army nearly reached the village by the time they where stoped. filled with anger Doom tried to train but the soldiers refused to let him use firearms. Finally A hardened soldier who lost his family adopted him and gave him some lessons. He taught him to hind in the cellar of the bunker if the enemy got there and to defend the base if he had to. On his 13th birthday Doom recieved a shotgun from the old soldier and told him to gaurd the base well. His mentor was then dispatched deeper into the rageing battle. Finally the fighting died down to only small rebel gangs and drug dealers. Many began to leave the base to head back home. A man and a woman soldier were incharge of the base and those liveing there includeing doom. The couple soon fell in love and prepared to abandon the base not knowing, or careing, that doom would be left behind. Finally two weeks later in july the couple left after a few soldiers left to go home. they thought those soldier would return and they told doom they were geting supplies. After 4 hours doom became worried and turned on the flood lights around the base to make it look active. Knowing he was the only one in the complex. Quickly an alarm went off detecting 3 rebels in the front of the base. doom grabbed and loaded his shotgun and opened a window to fire when he realized that the auto turrets could be used. soon a fire fight broke out and doom ran for cover in the cellar holding his shotgun he waited till morning. In the morning he found 2 dead bodies out side and he also noticed that thiefs made off with a armored car and a crate of ammo that was sitting out. All day doom prepared for another attack but only found him self falling asleep. Finally in the late after noon 2 soldiers past through and noticed he was the only one. doom told them about the man and woman who he suspected went AWOL. Doom also refused to go with them and said he was going to protect the base no matter what. Later that night another turn of bad luck for poor doom. this time there where more raiders comeing. The sensors showed about 20 but only 10 were close to the base. soon a rain of bullets was going in both directions. Instead of hinding he took position in a window and began to fire killing 4 and wounding 2 more. The turrets finished off the rest. Suddenly even more raiders began to attack and 2 got into the bunker and where heading towards doom. Doom quickly fell back into a room with ammom and his shotgun. One of the radiers tryis to ram the door open but doom pushes back and finally locks it. He grabs his gun and loads it. finally the door gives way and the raider stood before him. A blast rings out from doom's shotgun and the man falls back with a hole in his stomach. Suddenly you see 2 more men and almost fire but you see that they are friendlies and they have the 2 who left their command. You also see the man who adopted you. Filled with anger you walk up to the man and woman and say
"What the fuck were you thinking!!!?? Leaving your post... well now both of your jobs are mine and you are now out ranked by me a 13 year old." Doom then hits boh of them in the stomach and then on the back of the head with the back of his gun.
"you truly are a good soldier you gave these rebles nothing but Doom" said doom's mentor.
Doom awakes with a smaile and begins to tell his men the stroy of how he became DOOM.

well this is a unusall story about the doomguys past. he has forgotten his true name and taken up the name doom. well tell me what you think of this one

[EllipsusD]

It's interresting... different from what usually get's posted around here... but I think any change from the usual is welcome. The only suggestion I could make is to make smaller paragraphs so that it is easier to read. Keep it up.