So this is what I have to do to get a girl?

[Janderson]

Looking around the world I realise these are strange times. Long story short; on Saterday I have to say to this girl's mom;
'Sometimes I like to strangle myself and watch my life pass before my eyes, it gives me a rush, kinda like when I slit my wrists last Chrismas.'

Am I missing something, what strange things do you have to do for girls?

[darknation]

pay for them

[Lord FlatHead]

Perform cunnilingus.

[Silverwyvern]

Sometimes I buy them a bracelet or something... usually offering a shoulder rub is good.. then work to the back... and so forth

[Fletcher`]

Silverwyvern said:

Sometimes I buy them a bracelet or something... usually offering a shoulder rub is good.. then work to the back... and so forth

You get girls?

[gatewatcher]

Lord FlatHead said:

Perform cunnilingus.

w3rd

[Tobester]

Silverwyvern said:

Sometimes I buy them a bracelet or something... usually offering a shoulder rub is good.. then work to the back... and so forth

I offered to take my current female interest to see Cats and that worked. I don't do the shoulder rubbing thing because every time I do theres always a joke about how strong my right hand is compared to my left hand.

[Silverwyvern]

ravage said:

You get girls?

Back in the day before I met Dan.. it's our 3rd year dating today, by the way :D

[Sharessa]

Janderson said:

Long story short; on Saterday I have to say to this girl's mom;
'Sometimes I like to strangle myself and watch my life pass before my eyes, it gives me a rush, kinda like when I slit my wrists last Chrismas.'

What the Fuck?

Silverwyvern said:

Back in the day before I met Dan.. it's our 3rd year dating today, by the way :D

Sweet deal. Happy anniversary or something for you two. *hugs*

Anyway, as for girls, I have to repeatedly call them until they promise to take me out to a movie.

[Arckra]

o.o I don't try and get girls. But ugh, this one hit on me once. She offered to take me to dinner and all. I was a tad confused for a while but eh she moved away shortly after.

[Psyonisis]

.

[fodders]

Lord FlatHead said:

Perform cunnilingus.

Don't speak with your mouth full.

[Silverwyvern]

Psyonisis said:

Dear Lord that must have sucked!

I was thinking that... god what an awful experience that must have been... ;P

[Bucket]

Usually I turn introspective and shy until women are compelled to come up and ask me out. Sometimes, taking a shower helps. There was one time I didn't have sex for two-and-a-half years, and that helped. By removing myself from the dating pool, I'd allowed just any ugly old thing to come up and talk to me-- proving the effect of reverse psychology. It worked well, as I'd lowered my standards quite a bit by then.

[Disorder]

Drug them with GHB.

[Scuba Steve]

fodders said:

Don't speak with your mouth full.

Hahaha, you old dirty man.

[fraggle]

Desperation is a terribly ugly thing.

[Ralphis]

Ladies and Gentleman, I am proud to present Ralphis' Easy 5-Step Girl Grabbing Method:

1) Locate desired girl of choice
2) Check for obstacles (Boyfriends, shemales, etc)
3) Begin conversation
4) If Step 3 is successful, invite girl out on a date (Popular choices involve restaurants and movies, you pay)
5) If Step 4 is successful, ask girl out on another date

If Ralphis' Easy 5-Step Girl Grabbing Method has helped you, feel free to send American dollars to his address. No check or MO please.

[Job]

Heh. Dating advice from Ralphis.

[NoPoet]

Smack her arse and say "Hello darling, fancy a curry?"

[Sharessa]

What if you get stuck on step 2?

[darknation]

maybe look for someone else?

[Sharessa]

Man, all the women I know are either taken or Christian.

[Grimm]

Yeah, those fucking Christians!!!

[Ralphis]

OH NO NOT CHRISTIANS

[darknation]

dress up as jesus and tell them that God has chosen them for holy dicklicking

[insertwackynamehere]

I'm extra dumb. Just today a girl came up to me and said I was lucky because almost every girl in the class wanted to have my babies. Of course, here I am, while all my friends are at the soph hop :P I guess that makes a super loser :D

EDIT: Sooper Dooper Loser for saying that senence completely wrong :D

[Fredrik]

insertwackynamehere said:

I was lucky because almost every girl in the class wan't me to have their babies.

Wait a minute... they wanted you to "have their babies"?

[AndrewB]

That's got to be a sweet deal for them, Junior.

[Sharessa]

darknation said:

dress up as jesus and tell them that God has chosen them for holy dicklicking

Hahaha.

Its not that I hate Christians, its that I don't think I could ever marry a Christian. Our ideaologies would clash and the relationship would end sooner than it started. I guess I could try to unconvert her, but I don't believe in forcing beliefs on other people.

Oh yeah, I forgot to say I know a bunch of lesbian chicks too. Lesbian, religious, or in a relationship. It's a hard knock life. But I knock harder.