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Doom Meets Mike's Hard Lemonade

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(The scene is a devestated, hellspawn invaded Earth. Buildings are demolished and the sky is a dark orange. We see two Marines running through the streets of this masticated city, and then they hide behind an alley.)

Marine 1: Got the rocket launcher ready?

Marine 2: Yeah, but just what are we gonna use it for anyway?

Marine 1: A Baron of Hell.

Marine 2: Just what exactly is that?

Marine 1 (still closed in on Marine 2): Oh, it's a big, mean devilish looking thing that......

(We hear a short Baron howl, then a brief "squish" followed by Marine 1 screaming in agony. Marine 2 turns around and now we see a shot of the Baron with his arm through Marine 1's stomach with the hand on the other side, with Marine 1 clutching the arm and strugling for his life.)

(Marine 2 reflexively fires the rocket launcher, in which the rocket hits the Baron and kills it. Marine 2 comes up to the dead Baron and severs part of the arm from the arm in Marine 1's stomach. Marine 2 then pulls out the other part of the arm from Marine 1's body.)

Marine 2 (still holding the arm covered in gore): Man, they're uglier than I thought. (He tosses the arm away)

Marine 1 (looking down at the hole in his stomach): Yeah, and now I got a hole in my armor suit, along with my stomach!!!!!!

Marine 2: Hey man, don't get upset. I know what'll put this behind you........a tasty Mike's Hard Lemonade!

Marine 1 (smiling evily): Your treat!

A hard day's work calls for a nice hard lemonade.

(In the bar, lots of Marines are grouped around a table, and when Marine 1 takes a drink from his Mike's, it spills out of the hole in his stomach. As the others laugh, Marine 1 pulls out his pistol, clicks it, and out comes a cloth with "BANG!" written on it. Now everybody laughs.)

(Case of Mike's drops onto the table)

Make it Mike's!

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