"become one with the sofa"

[HateFactor]

With time it's possible for almost anything to get grafted with your skin. One time in my Art Video class we were studying some guy that used to almost constantly walk around with a video unit attached to his clothes and body. After a while the wires running up and down his arms got grafted in his skin; when he was at an airport once, the security tried to get it off him with force and ripped some of them out...along with a large chunk of his skin. He sued them.

[Spike]

Terra-jin said:

Jezus... is such a thing even possible?

While I was working the reception on Liverpool Hospital A&E a few years back, the nurses treated a tramp who hadn't taken his shoes or socks off in over a year. The skin of his feet had grafted to the socks - meaning some surgery was required, though nothing as severe as reported in the featured article -, and gangrean resulted in the removal of several of his toes.

[darknation]

Terra-jin said:

I just don't see how anyone could sit 6 years on the same spot without EVER moving... it's mind-boggling. Sick.

insert IRC joke here.

If there is one thing that amuses me more than a fat wedding, it's a fat funeral. The corpulent walrus, decked out in her Sunday best. The seven-foot wide coffin. The sofa still attached. The forklift dumping the entire ensemble into a crater in the ground.

This woman could be designated as landfill. She deserves your fucking respect.

Edit: I was scooping around for details on this story and apparently she never even moved to use the toilet. This sofa is going to have to be sealed in lead and buried in the Pacific Trench.

[SYS]

Wow, what a life, living and dying in your own shit.

[etimmerAZ]

Just imagine the smell! Urine, crap and sweat. ewwwwwww!

[Ichor]

Those firemen that were there certainly wish that they didn't have to smell that. They even had to wear HAZMAT suits and blow in fresh air just to tolerate the rancid stench. Those people that lived there could not possibly have any sense of smell.

[Janderson]

Don't forget her breath, if she can't get up to wipe her ass what chance do her teeth stand.

I don't know whether to pity her or laugh at her. Probably the latter. Jesus, was she naked or something or were the clothes in her deepest reaches? Grafted to a sofa! 480lbs! Goddamn, I think I need to lie down.

[Relica Religia]

She just fused into a giant coagulant mass of Slosh-Pork.

Either that or she fought some epic battle with her evil Sofa Lord Dictator and lost, badly.

[DooMBoy]

Ichor said:

Those firemen that were there certainly wish that they didn't have to smell that. They even had to wear HAZMAT suits and blow in fresh air just to tolerate the rancid stench. Those people that lived there could not possibly have any sense of smell.

Heh, the smell probably burned their nostril hairs away, that is if it didn't melt their skin completely off their bodies and cause their eyes to explode in their heads while their brains melted and leaked out of their ears.
At least, such a stench would do that to me.

[DOOM Anomaly]

Doom mod, anyone? :D

[Doom Marine]

After 5-6 years of being stationary with the couch and defecating, wouldn't the volume of feces, even after dehydration, have overflowed the entire room? Just mind boggling...

[Bashe]

DooMBoy said:

Heh, the smell probably burned their nostril hairs away, that is if it didn't melt their skin completely off their bodies and cause their eyes to explode in their heads while their brains melted and leaked out of their ears.
At least, such a stench would do that to me.

Yeah, me too. I can't believe she didn't even get up to go to the bathroom!

"Yeah, I'll just shit myself..."
[Poos]
"..."

[Quast]

Doom Marine said:

After 5-6 years of being stationary with the couch and defecating, wouldn't the volume of feces, even after dehydration, have overflowed the entire room? Just mind boggling...

I'm willing to bet 100% that she had someone, husband? lol, her family, cleaning up after her/shoveling food into her gullet

[Captain Red]

Doom Marine said:
After 5-6 years of being stationary with the couch and defecating, wouldn't the volume of feces, even after dehydration, have overflowed the entire room? Just mind boggling...

she problby didn't need to eat as much/shit as much since she was stuck there.

[SmellyOgre]

Just imagine being her husband..."Honey, you better come quick! I gotta take a shit!"

/grabs shovel

How could he put up with that for 5 years??

[DOOM Anomaly]

Let's see Tide get the stains out of THIS mess! :D

[Sephiroth]

if you have ever had braces you know the pain casued by skin "grafitng" or assililating items. also the mouth tissue regenerates at and extreamly high rate.

I offten had to litteraly cut wire out of my lips and cheeks, it would lay aginst the tissue and the thin wire would cut into or be absorbed as a slept and then heal over top. thank god i am partialy parlized in my face. that dentist sucked ass, i dout he even knew what the hell he was doing.

needless to say it is just mind boggling. chances are she just shit and pissed right then and there. that alone should have killed and rotted her skin. however i bet she formed a symbyotic relationship with many decay organisisms that ate rotting flesh, but still fucking sick. Jesus christ what kind of person would fiirst off let that happen. i would have shipped her off to a mental hospital.

good god the stench had to be horrendous and i personaly would have torched the house. Also not to mention the massive bio-hazard presented by over 400lbs of rotting human, couch and feces.


hey sounds like my brother's future

[Bucket]

Ah wash mahself wif a rag on a stick.

[Xenaero]

This is sad, not to mention it happened right close where i live too...

[SyntherAugustus]

Dont forget the "lisa simpson fatty" episode.

[Sharessa]

DOOM Anomaly said:

Or perhaps she watched all of the special features on the LOTR Dvds.

Ahahaha. Yeah, I spent about a week watching the first one and I've only seen about half of it. When I got the second one, I watched the movie and 5-6 of the documentaries before I gave up.

[Llamatron99]

DOOM Anomaly said:

Doom mod, anyone? :D

Did someone say the Mancubus was female? Just add a couch to its ass

[Caco-Puff]

[Silverwyvern]

I wanna know where it all started... cause one day she was probably healthy enough to get up.. and shit.. what in her mind told her to stay put and fill the couch with feces?

[Fletcher`]

Caco-Puff said:

http://www.iownjoo.com/freeimghost/Trevor/couch.jpg

hey there sailor

[TheBlackKnight]

Do you believe in life after lard?

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Central/08/11/halfton.man.ap/index.html

0_o

[Janderson]

TheBlackKnight said:

Do you believe in life after lard?

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Central/08/11/halfton.man.ap/index.html

How is it possible for a human to weigh a ton? O_o

[Ichor]

It isn't (yet). He only weighed half a ton.

[Sharessa]

That guy is scary looking. Especialy if you see the full picture with his F-cup cleavage.

[etimmerAZ]

Danarchy said:

That guy is scary looking. Especialy if you see the full picture with his F-cup cleavage.

. . . on his neck. Man, I know I'm a fatass I weigh 350 lbs (over 150 Kg). I'm also seven foot tall so it would look worse on a normal. But how the hell do you eat enough to get that heavy? I can eat a lot but not every day. Do they have to train to get that fat? I knew this fatty that said he had a glad problem, but I still say him drink a 3 liter coke bottle at least 3 times a day. Gland my ass.

Oooops, sorry for that rant. I guess in the end it really is just sad. What ones life must be like to just sit on a sofa and be fed . . . what the hell am I talking about! That must be bloody great!