Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Sign in to follow this  
Spike

I Miss 'Father Ted' *sniff*

Recommended Posts

I mean, it was pure genius. Total and utter genius. For those who've no idea what i'm on about (non UK/Irish residents), Father Ted was a sitcom about three priests stuck living in a parochial house in some isolated island off the coast of Eire. There was Ted, the selfish, chainsmoking gambler; Dougal, the retard and good ol' Jack, the permanently-intoxicated old bastard. Sadly, Dermot Morgan (Father Ted Crilly) died of a heart attack in February '98.

Here's a few of the best quotes from the series.:
-------------------------------------
[to his pet rabbit]
Father Dougal : Come on, Sampras.
Father Ted : What did you call him?
Father Dougal : Sampras, like Pete Sampras.
Father Ted : Why?
Father Dougal : Well... you know, rabbits, tennis, you know that whole connection there.

Bishop Brennan : What would the following words suggest to you: "Jack", "sleepwalking" and "bollock naked"?

Father Ted : Ah, Sister Assumpta!
Sister Assumpta : Hello Father!
Father Ted : Dougal, Dougal, do you remember Sister Assumpta?
Father Dougal : Er, no.
Father Ted : She was here last year! And then we stayed with her in the convent, back in Kildare. Do you remember it? Ah, you do! And then you were hit by the car when you went down to the shops for the paper. You must remember all that? And then you won a hundred pounds with your lottery card? Ah, you must remember it, Dougal!
[Dougal shakes his head]
Sister Assumpta : And weren't you accidentally arrested for shoplifting? I remember we had to go down to the police station to get you!... And the police station went on fire? And you had to be rescued by helicopter?
Father Ted : Do you remember? You can't remember any of that? The helicopter! When you fell out of the helicopter! Over the zoo! Do you remember the tigers?
[Dougal shakes his head some more]
Father Ted : You don't remember? You were wearing your blue jumper.
Father Dougal : Ah, Sister Assumpta!

Father Ted : Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These
[he points to some plastic cows on the table]
Father Ted : are very small; those
[pointing at some cows out of the window]
Father Ted : are far away...

Father Jack Hackett : Drink! Feck! Arse! Girls!
---------------------------------------------------

That'll do for now. *sniff*

Share this post


Link to post

Ah, i remember that series too well. Great one at that.

A quote from one of my favourite scenes.

Ted: Father, are you alright? /walks over to Father jack
Ted: Ah no...not toilet duck again.

Share this post


Link to post
Captain Red said:

Spike, you easily have the best taste in television shows on this site.


Figures :D

Share this post


Link to post

The best thing for me was those endless quibbles between themselves and Father Dick Byrne's lot (especially the eurosong one). And Father Jack saying 'Feck off' to everything in sight.

Share this post


Link to post
Spike said:

Father Ted : Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These
[he points to some plastic cows on the table]
Father Ted : are very small; those
[pointing at some cows out of the window]
Father Ted : are far away...

I guess thats where Darknation got that joke from. Hehe...

Share this post


Link to post

You just have to love mrs doyle:

MRS.DOYLE: And speaking of cake, I have cake.
FR.TED: I'm fine for cake Ms. Doyle.
MRS.DOYLE: Are you sure Father? There's cocaine in it.
FR.TED: There's what?
MRS.DOYLE: Oh no, not cocaine, what am I on about. No, I meant, what do you macallit ... Raisins!

Share this post


Link to post

TED: What would you say is behind tomorrow's window Father Jack?
JACK: A pair of feckin' wimmin's knickers!
TED: Well, who knows.
JACK: Knickers!
TED: Yes Father.
JACK: Wimmin's knickers!
TED: Yes Father yes, message understood.

Great British comedy.

Share this post


Link to post
Danarchy said:

I guess thats where Darknation got that joke from. Hehe...

omg plagerism!!

It's fucking funnier with penises anyway. Everything is funnier with penises.

and, in an unrelated note to everyone of late, stop capitalising my name, twatstores.

Share this post


Link to post

darknation said:
and, in an unrelated note to everyone of late, stop capitalising my name, twatstores.

the spirit of deadnail lives on.

Share this post


Link to post

Aha, thanks, something else to go on my Amazon wish list. I've been trying to think of like every series I've ever watched. I only have 125 items on the list :) If anyone wants to BUY ME SOMETHING, please feel free :) You can always sort it by price and buy the cheapest things - some of them you can get on the new and used section for like £1.

Go on, be nice, you'll be rewarded when I'm a millionaire.

Share this post


Link to post

MaTT [TiK] said:
Go on, be nice, you'll be rewarded when I'm a millionaire.


Ah, go on. Go on. Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, GO ON!

Share this post


Link to post
Szymanski said:

I'd put the 'Golden Cleric' episode at the top


Wasn't that the Christmas special?

Share this post


Link to post
Captain Red said:

Spike, you easily have the best taste in television shows on this site.

i have never seen this. well i dont watch TV anyways. i might watch history channel or simpsons on occasion. i might watch a total of 4 hours of TV in a week

Share this post


Link to post
Sephiroth said:

i have never seen this.


Sort it, and complete your life :P

Share this post


Link to post
Sephiroth said:

i might watch a total of 4 hours of TV in a week

I probably watch even less than that these days. Spend all my time either trying to make my web server vaguely like a web server, working or sitting at PrincessShanobi's, watching her play MUD games for hours on end, heh.

Share this post


Link to post

Father Ted : Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These
[he points to some plastic cows on the table]
Father Ted : are very small; those
[pointing at some cows out of the window]
Father Ted : are far away...
That was the greatest joke in TV history. I only have seen like four episodes, This guy at work gave me a tape of father Ted
FECK OFF!

Share this post


Link to post
Clawt said:

Father Ted : Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These
[he points to some plastic cows on the table]
Father Ted : are very small; those
[pointing at some cows out of the window]
Father Ted : are far away...
That was the greatest joke in TV history. I only have seen like four episodes, This guy at work gave me a tape of father Ted
FECK OFF!

I love that one. That's definitely the most memerable Father Ted moment at least. Wouldn't say it beats all the Red Dwarf jokes though.

Spike said:

Damn, I was hoping to tell you it'd be cheaper at Amazon but it's £1.99 more. Usually, you can get stuff much cheaper through Amazon Marketplace (where Amazon members sell through Amazon), but it's the same price :(

Share this post


Link to post

Man, I wish we got this on BBCA instead of that shitty ass show where the families redecorate each others homes. Whee!

Share this post


Link to post

Not sure if the BBC would have bought the rights, since it was originally on Channel 4. Still, you never know. Might even be worth looking on Kazaa for an episode, just to get the feel for it.

Share this post


Link to post

BISHOP O'NEILL: So Father, do you ever have any doubts about the religious life? Is your faith ever tested? Anything you've been worried about? Any doubts you've been having about any aspects of belief? Anything like that?
DOUGAL: Well, you know the way God made us all right and eh, he's looking down on us from heaven and everything. And then his son came down and saved everyone and all that.
BISHOP O'NEILL: Well yes.
DOUGAL: And when we die we're all going to go to heaven.
BISHOP O'NEILL: Yes. What about it?
DOUGAL: Well that's the part I have trouble with.

DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS! Yes! Feckin' Water! I love my brick! Drink, oh yes! Oh, feck! Rats! Hairy Japanese bastards! Feck off, cup! What the hell is this? Gobshite! I'M SOOO SOOOOO SOOOOO SORRY! Don't tell me I'm still on that feckin' island! Nuns! Nuns! Reverse! Reverse! Arsebiscuits! That would be an ecumenical matter!!!

Share this post


Link to post

Yeah that was a really great show, unfortunately my last name is McDougald so yeah they had great fun treating me like an idiot for an hour or so after each episode.

There's a lot of great Brit sitcoms, Coupling and My Hero are my current favorites. When it comes to Britcoms I'm a total sucker.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
×