fodders Posted December 19, 2004 Twas the night before christmas and all through the house, everyone felt shitty, even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse, dad smoking grass; I'd just settle down for a nice piece of ass. Out on the lawn, I heard such a clatter. I sprung from my chair to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn, I saw a big dick. I knew in a minute, it must be St. Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell. I knew in a moment, the fucker had fell. He stuffed all our stockings with pretzels and beer, and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart. that son of a bitch blew my chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he rode away, piss on you all and have a hell of a day ------------------------- Have a fraggin nice day. 0 Share this post Link to post
insertwackynamehere Posted December 19, 2004 heh I actually laughed out loud 0 Share this post Link to post
DoomDan Posted December 19, 2004 I have a Christmas Card that says the same exact thing. "Moneys short Times are hard Heres your fucking Christmas card." Heh 0 Share this post Link to post
Technician Posted December 19, 2004 I think I got that in a e-mail a few years back. 0 Share this post Link to post
Relica Religia Posted December 19, 2004 That's rad. Jesus, that was funny. 0 Share this post Link to post
DooMBoy Posted December 19, 2004 Heard that one quite a few times fods but it never gets old :) Merry Fucking Christmas 0 Share this post Link to post
Ralphis Posted December 19, 2004 It's only decent because fod posted it 0 Share this post Link to post
gatewatcher Posted December 20, 2004 Heh, oh man, I remember this from way back in 4th grade, really. I wonder where it originated from? 0 Share this post Link to post
Milamber Posted December 20, 2004 I laughed so hard. This deserves to go in your equivalent of the Awesome Forum. 0 Share this post Link to post
geekmarine Posted December 20, 2004 gatewatcher said:Heh, oh man, I remember this from way back in 4th grade, really. I wonder where it originated from? Holy crap, so do I... Small world, ain't it? Seriously, where the hell did that thing come from? And how did it spread so far? 0 Share this post Link to post
Lvangundy Posted December 22, 2004 I'm sure that originated in the 80's. 0 Share this post Link to post
Udderdude Posted December 22, 2004 I remember hearing this crap on the radio when I was in highschool .. thanks for the memories :P 0 Share this post Link to post
Coopersville Posted December 24, 2004 That poem's everywhere. I laughed my ass off reading it for the first time in fifth grade. 0 Share this post Link to post
NightmareZer0 Posted December 24, 2004 fodders said:and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. HAHA that part is halirous. 0 Share this post Link to post
Stealthy Ivan Posted December 24, 2004 Look at my pine tree!!!!!!!! Woo Hoooo... 0 Share this post Link to post
Johnny Posted December 25, 2004 hahahhaha, i remember reciting that at recess in 4th grade and all the girls telling on me. i actually had to sing it to the principal. man, did i get in a lot of shit. GOOOOD TIMES 0 Share this post Link to post
Insomniak Posted December 25, 2004 The traditional Christmas Turkey: T H E N I G H T B E F O R E *-D-*-*-O-*-*-O-*-*-M-* Written by: Hank Leukart (ap641@cleveland.freenet.edu) "DOOM: Where the sanest place... is behind a trigger." "DOOM: Such mayhem the likes of which have never been witnessed in this particular dimension!" `Twas the night before DOOM, and all through the house, I had set up my multi-playing networks, each with a mouse. The networks were strung, with extra special care in hopes that DOOM, soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of demons danced through their heads. And my computer's processor it was so quick, boy was I glad I bought that 486. When out on the Internet there was a Usenet posting, I dialed right in to see what it was boasting. Off to the news reader I flew like a hound, "Oh no," I cried! The news reader was down! Frustrated, bewildered, feeling really low, I leaned back to see what I heard out the window. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a group of 6 cars, driving 60 I fear! With a big young driver, just look at him go! I knew in a moment, it must be John Romero! Over the speed limit, his band of cars came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, Jay! Now, John! Now, Dave and Kevin! On, Adrian! On, Sandy! On, Shawn and Maurice!" To the top of the driveway! Don't hit that wall! Now stop your car, stop your car, stop your car all! Leaving the car, he entered the house, Walking quietly, so as to not wake the spouse. He was dressed in a T-shirt, and a a pair of jeans too, I was unsure of what he was going to do. Boxes of DOOM he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. Those boxes - how they sparkled! The shrink-wrap so tight! The character was drawn on the front, just ready to fight! The Chainsaw and Shotgun he held in his hand, Where was the BFG9000?: The best gun in the land. And then I saw it, strapped to his back, Along with a copy of the "Official" DOOM FAQ! A wink of John's eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, Installed it on the network, then turned with a jerk. And placing a hand into his jeans, out came his keys - oh how they gleamed! He sprang to his car, to the id team gave a whistle, and away they all drove, like DOOM's launching of a missile. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "DEMONS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A HELLISH NIGHT! Stay away from the eggnog, and best wishes to all doomers over the holidays. 0 Share this post Link to post
AndrewB Posted December 25, 2004 Insomniak said:"Now, Jay! Now, John! Now, Dave and Kevin! On, Adrian! On, Sandy! On, Shawn and Maurice!" What the heck? This didn't even rhyme. Now, Jay! Now, Kevin! Now, Maurice and Shawn! On, Dave! On, Sandy! On, Adrian and John! 0 Share this post Link to post
Darkhaven Posted December 25, 2004 Twas the night before christmas and throughout my compie, all were DooMed, even Wolf3D. Twas the day, of their darkest hour; At the time, my pants had been stuffed full of flour. For just in my reach, I fealt great power. Once again, I reference my pants Stuffed full of flour. For within my hands, I held the great box. Yeah, that one, You stupid shit. Box. I slid the fucker in I heard a little pop. I looked in the slot, It busted my comp. I took a sledge-hammer I beat that shit with a clammer, I looked around and on the ground And let that bitch go in the shitmound. lol impse 0 Share this post Link to post