Doom script (updated w/2 sequels)

[Thac]

[DOOM]
[Updated: The sequel, DOOM: Evilution]
[Updated: The final chapter, The DOOM Supremacy]


I wrote this after following (with disappointment) the development news on the DOOM movie.



It's about 72 pages, if you take the time to check it out, thanks :)

[dsm]

I read the beginning - so far, I like it except for the names and that it's set on Phobos.
I'll read more of it later.

[Grimm]

Holy shit that kicked ass. Couple of cheesy lines but for the most part they were funny. Action was good. I'd pay to see it for sure.

[kristus]

dsm said:

I read the beginning - so far, I like it except for the names and that it's set on Phobos.
I'll read more of it later.

Why is it a problem that it's set on Phobos? Both in Vanilla doom and Doom3 there were bases on Phobos, not to mention that the original game did start on Phobos.

[Hellbent]

I hate the Q3Aerized Doom Marine. Ugh. Get it out of my sight!

I'll read the script, tho, if it's any good. I use the 10 page rule when reading scripts. If it hasn't grabbed me by 10 pages, then it's not worth finishing.

[Thac]

I probably should mention that this isn't intended to be 100% dead-on with the game(s) storyline, although it's closer to the original DOOM than anything else. But I did want to put a bit of a spin on it.
Aside from Taggart & Keen I got the names from the Bible.

Thanks Grimm, I wanted Taggart's one-liners to be pretty bad but I tried to stop short of the DOOM comic's cheesiness. :D

I'm planning a sequel that follows the EVILUTION storyline but it'll also have its own spin since it continues this fanfic.

[dsm]

kristus said:

Why is it a problem that it's set on Phobos? Both in Vanilla doom and Doom3 there were bases on Phobos, not to mention that the original game did start on Phobos.

Because the moon is too small to be able to house a full-fledged base that's why.
One large building perhaps, more than that would be too far fetched.
It'd seem off in a movie, even one based on Doom.

Besides, Mars > Phobos. It's a cooler place with its red expanses.

[TheDarkArchon]

This. Script. Kicks. Ass.

[chilvence]

That was a good read. Unbroken action, lots of references to the games, and the prerequisite action hero one liners. No mindless movie sensibilities getting in the way of how Doom should be portrayed. It at least deserves to be made into a flash movie or a comic book, or at least something...

[Thac]

17x12 miles certainly doesn't offer a lot of leg room but you could plop a decent mini-base up there, I think. Although I agree Mars has the cooler atmosphere and helluva lot more space, it would dampen the contrast between our dimension and Hell's, IMO. And I just dig the whole Phobos/Deimos setup.

Thanks for reading all, it's cool to get a variety of feedback from fans.

[Jacknife]

Really interesting, I hope someday somebody uses zxdoom to make a wad after this. Oh, and I'm going to start my own Doom story pretty soon, its going to be set in the Doom 3 universe; but first I need to know the storyline. I can't play the game on my computer, and I'm broke.
EDIT: I really would've liked to see some more original ways of killing the monsters, other than shoving his ssg down their mouths and saying a funny one liner; all the time. In fact, dsm came out with a retelling of Doom a while ago. I'm a little bit bored with these retellings and I think that its time for something that is akin to the Doom Comic. In sheer hilarity, that is.

[Wallace]

I enjoyed that. that should be the movie instead of the crap hollywood's feeding us. I liked the gatekeeper's line tho.

[Linguica]

72 minutes is kind of a short movie. That said, this is much better than I expected of another Doom fan script.

[darknation]

heh, really quite good. Weak spots here and there. You could go further IMHO by tweaking some of the more outrageous elements, adding a little bit of subtlety to compliment the balls-out action sequences.

The dialogue was good in most parts, Taggart actually made me laugh out loud on several occasions. Any major flaws I can see are mostly caused by the source material being non-to cerebral.

Overall, good stuff.

[Thac]

Yeah, I considered padding the 72 pages out with character development but I figured what the hey, it's a fanfic, let's get to the fraggin'. ;)

That being said, if in some alternate universe I had a shot at pitching this script, I'd definitely give Taggart more depth & try to balance out the action with some suspense.

Jacknife, I haven't really read any other DOOM fics but I understand what you're saying. I stuck with the guns in this one (and the 2nd one in fact); the last one I'm working on right now deviates a lot from that.

[Thac]

Just wanted to mention that I've written a Quake script treatment (actually based on Quake 2). I'm posting it here because the script was intended as a quasi-sequel to the DOOM trilogy, what with Bitterman's cameo in DOOM SUPREMACY.