Silent Hell Chapter 3: Metal (finished version! zomg)

[DemonDemon]

Oh wow, it took forever for me to actually FINISH this chapter with all the moving, games, stuff, more stuff, food, ect. going on. So what you may ask is Silent Hell (It has been almost, what, a YEAR since I posted the first part of the chapter), it's a story I had started to write a ways back, trying to write a story with raw emotion as the fuel. I liked how I could write under the pressure of pure emotion, so decided to continue as much as I could. And then I said the rest of chapter 3 would be done by friday. Now, after a year, I finished the third chapter, which was a heck of a lot harder to write then I had ever done before, and while I feel I could have done even better (hell, the main fight scene in this chapter was rewritten five times before I decided to leave it O_o;) I also feel that I should finish the chapter before it slides off my list again.

Anywho, sorry if anyone was waiting for this (ha!) or gave up on the story all together (like anyone actually read it the first time. :), but I hope the wait was worth it. Or, if you've never read this before, well, um, read the first chapters and then enjoy/utterly hate it. :) (Don't forget to post about anything you feel the need to point out or any (ANY) kind of reaction to the story. Truely, even posts about how bad it was would be better then the dead silence that usualy fills these poor halls of literature. :) I tried to keep the feeling of the story the same and add more diversity to the actions, but in the end this is as good as I can type it without making it take even longer to write. :)

Here's the previous chapters of the story:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2

So here you are, after so very long, I give you...

Silent Hell Chapter 3: Metal

For a second, there was nothing but darkness, I couldn’t even feel my heart beat or hear myself breath. Then a sudden burst of light staggered me, and I fell back blocking my face only to find the light was coming from all directions. The light was too much and I tried to close my eyes, but they were stuck open. I yelled silently out as the intense pain racked through my skull, the light piercing directly through my eyes. Finally the light started to fade into a dull crimson and the feeling of my body returned. I dropped to my knees, my hands at my eyes rubbing them, feeling wetness as soon as they touched. I blinked a few times and brought my hands away to look at my palms, only to see a darker red stained all over them. I stumbled to my feet and felt more of my face. My eyes... they were bleeding! I looked around, trying to figure out where I was, but the more I tried to see, the more the blood would block my sight. I started to run, only to get a few steps before slamming into something and falling back to the ground. I slammed my eyes shut and wiped as much blood from them as I could and finally opened them to see clearly. I was standing in the middle of a circle, marked in blood, surrounding me were figures that I couldn’t concentrate enough on to see. They were slowly walking around me, on the outside of the circle, chanting words.

I tried to turn to look around, but my body was held fast with only my eyes to look around. I tried to concentrate on the figures, but the harder I tried to make them out, the more it hurt and the less I saw. The chanting got clearer and clearer, until I could finally make out what they were saying, “Why... did you... Why... did you... Why... did you do...”. I then noticed that the figures were all holding onto a rope that seemed to be connected to me. My eyes looked down, only to find in horror that it wasn’t rope at all, but that they were slowly pulling my intestines out through a gaping hole in my stomach! I tried to scream but yet again nothing would come out, the figures constantly chanting and tugging out my organs. Then the chanting stopped and the as the figures walked past my line of sight around my left, they let out a quick yell as something crushed them. Soon, all of the figures had walked directly into whatever it was that was killing them, leaving me to feel bursts of pain as whatever it was breath on my back, the breath so terrible it quickly ripped through my clothing and into my skin, ripping it apart. The breath rose from my back to the back of my head and then again to the side of my face where I could finally see it’s face leaning over my shoulder. It was the creature I had seen before, the twisted monster that so easily snapped the imp in half, and not it had me, unable to move, to play with. It’s head slowly turned toward mine and a half flesh covered smile greeted me as it breathed deeply in and let out a quick roar that ripped my head to pieces.

* * *

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”, I awoke with a start to the sound of yelling. I started to panic, not knowing what was going on, only to finally realize I was the one yelling. I stopped and smacked myself in the face, “Stupid stupid stupid!”. I didn’t know how long I had been out, but I knew all that yelling would definitely attract attention, if whatever it was that was here hadn’t heard my landing. Wait... I looked up only to see a yellow plaster ceiling covered in dried blood, with identical walls on either side. I stood up from the rusty metal floor and looked toward a standard metal door, gray metal with bolts at key locations holding it together. This doesn’t make sense, the door had given out behind me and I had fallen quite the distance before slamming into the floor. But there was a ceiling, old at that, as well as the doorway that I should have fallen though covered in a completely different door, one that looked like it was brand new! “The fuck?”, I announced to myself, and pressed my hand against the door. It was solid all right, cold to the touch. Another thing bugged me at the back of my head. Light... there was light in here!

I quickly turned around to see a long hall, with horrendously rusted metal light fixtures hanging from the ceiling. The light it self wasn’t anything too special, some were flickering on and off others didn’t work at all, but still, it was light. But that was the only saving grace from this hall. A double door sat to my side and held way down the hall was a single door, both made of rotting wood. At the end of the hall was a gray metal door that he swore was the exact door he had fallen with before. Next to that door was one final door, black metal plated with red painted markings over a wooden set of panels directly in the center of the door. The symbols and writing was accented with three indents in the wood in the shape of strange symbols. Practically everything in this hall, except for me and the newly installed door behind, was covered in dried blood. This hall... it was the same one I had entered the building, only inverted, as if it were some twisted mirror version of the original. I pulled out the map I had earlier and scratched my head. It showed a small hall and a couple of doors leading into other parts of the back rooms and one at the end that led into the store floor. But this was the same hall as before, only reversed. The hell was going on here!? I turned around and tested the door behind me. It felt like it was bolted to the wall. I sighed; this was one hell of a weird place. I quickly tested the double door to see if it was locked or anything, but it swung open to quickly show the room I had been in before, only moderately lit and covered in more dried blood and rusty metal. I quickly made my down the hall and tested the rest of the doors except the new ‘creepy door’. The only other door that wouldn’t open was the rune-covered door with notches in it. It seemed to be locked.

“You know...”, I thought to myself, “..if this were some kind of video game, I’d likely need to put some obscure objects into these slots to unlock the door...”, I felt the inside of the grooves and felt cold metal inside. It didn’t take me long to realize if I wanted to open this door I would need the ‘keys’ placed into the right slots. I scoffed and just shook my head as I turned and headed down the hall to the middle door, still trying to ignore the creepy door as much as I could, “I’m in a video game.”, and opened the door in the middle of the hall and walked into the room.

The room was square, with only one other door, sitting at the opposite side of the room from me, rotten wood with rusted metal around the edges. It appeared to be an office of some kind, with a desk in one corner and a cabinet next to that. There was also a chair sitting in the middle of the room, covered in blood and bolted to the metal grate floor. The grating didn’t look very sturdy and I pondered turning back when I noticed something sitting on the desk. A smile crept to my face as I saw the glint of clean 5 inch long steel, a sharp blade attached to a wooden hilt. The area surrounding the blade was completely clean, as if the blood avoided the blade. I tested the grating a bit, finding its rusty appearance to be only that, as the metal it’s self seemed quite sturdy. I thought to myself as I looked down into the darkness beyond the grating, thinking of what could possibly be down there... but my mind quickly switched to the blade again, and I knew that I was gonna need it. I walked past the chair and directly to the knife, looking around for any sign of a trap. My hand slowly moved toward the weapon, my body ready for action the second anything tried to do anything. The feel of clean-cut wood creped into my hand as I lifted it upward, my eyes darting around the room. Nothing happened. The knife was mine. I looked it over and smiled at my reflection, my grayish brown buzz cut hair, grayish blue eyes, scruffy chin and upper lip matching the color of the blade quite well. I looked over my worn face chiseled jaw and slightly scarred face and was slightly surprised how I still looked like the 40 year old I was before this ordeal.

With my newfound weapon in hand, I quickly started to inspect the desk and cabinet for any drawers that may hold another prize for me, only to sigh as both the desk and the cabinet were rusted shut. Glancing over to the other door in the room, I pondered opening it. From the blueprint still fresh in my mind it was nothing more then a simple closet for hanging coats, not even large enough to fit a human being in it. However, for all I know of this place, it could lead to Wonderland… or a brick wall. While personally I would avoid any kind of surprise that could be beyond that door, I have to make sure that there isn’t anything that could spring me from behind after I leave this room.

I made my way to the door, about to grab the knob when the door began to slowly creak open, seemingly on it’s own. Startled, I readied my knife and swung the door open, only to see an open space with a box lying on the metal plated floor. Sitting on top of the box, however, was a jade symbol, just like one of the shapes for the rune-covered door. I smiled to myself about how easy whatever had made this place was making this way too easy, reached down and grabbed the symbol, only to be unable to pick it up. It’s stuck. I gave it another tug, finding the lid of the box lift a bit. Patience wearing thin, I gave one final yank, causing the box top to fling open and reveal to my horror the head of a Mancubus, a disgustingly fat and ugly hell spawn that had cannons for arms and a face that looked like something peeled it off the front of a bus. What was even more so horrifying was its hollow green eyes twitched open and looked directly at me. It was still alive. The severed head opened its mouth and bellowed out a terrible yell that made me stumble back onto the chair in the center of the room.

Suddenly the cabinet came to life as the front was smashed open and a strange looking creature emerged from the hollowed out remains. It was completely covered in the leathery skin I thought I had seen before wrapped around a body hanging from a rusty metal frame, only this thing was not constrained by a metal frame and the skin was rounded to extremely pointed tips at the end of it’s arms and legs. Its ‘face’ was nothing but skin with a slight indent of a hollowed out human skull contained within. The Mancubus wail was drowned out by the radio in my pocket with now spat out extremely loud static, the creature adding to the noise with it’s own screech as it leapt toward my head.

I dodged out of the chair and rolled across the floor, the skin creature flying overhead its pointed legs landing directly on top of the Mancubus head slicing though it and the box and silencing it once and for all. The skin creature spun around to face me as I arose from the floor, the symbol quickly tucked into my pocket and my knife readied for combat, “Come on skinny. I need to try out my new knife.”, I said to the ‘skinny’ as it readied its self for another lunge. The knife easily passed right though the creatures neck as I easily evaded it’s jump and slashed it, smiling as the back of it’s neck spurted blood and it’s head fell forward to its ‘chest’, only staying attached by a small bit of skin left. The inside of the creature took me by surprise. It was nothing but skin and blood, wound up into the form I saw before me. Another thing I didn’t expect was the skinny turning back toward me, paying no heed to its head dangling by a bit of skin in its neck. This wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought.

It’s left leg slashed outward at me, causing me to leap back onto the chair, only to dodge off the chair a second time as it’s arms stabbed right through the chair and sliced the bottom of the chair from it’s place, causing it to bounce into the corner of the room. With its arms unable to block a frontal attack, I quickly flipped the knife around in my hand and sliced it from crotch to neck, severing its head and exposing the inside of its chest. This time the creature stumbled back, screeching in pain as its head unrolled along the floor and it’s chest showing a rhythmic pulsing where its heart seemed to be. The skinny made an enraged screech and began to whip out at me with all its legs and arms only to attack even faster and more determined every time I slashed back at it. Finally I saw my opportunity as it launched all four of its appendages at me, thinking I was cornered, only to get smashed on the side by the chair I had snatched up from the floor and bounced off the wall crashing onto the floor, its right arm impaled on the rest of the chair still bolted to the floor. Unable to stop me, I quickly seized this opportunity, and brought down the chair’s bottom through it’s chest, into it’s hear, and out its back with so much force that the chair bent the metal grating in such a way that it was now stuck to the floor. I started to laugh out loud as the skinny flailed wildly, its final sounds to the world before it finally died. Red blood dripped down into the darkness below from the creature’s wounds, my laughter the only sound left echoing down below.

After a while I snapped to my senses. What was I doing? I started to feel guilt fill me as I started to realize that I had just watched a creature die not just with a horrible smile on my face but the feeling of total enjoyment as I watched it die laughing. What kind of man am I becoming? I had never felt like this before, even when I dispatched hell spawn after hell spawn. I was trained to kill without remorse or enjoyment because feeling either showed that you were either not able to do this job, or were too disturbed to be allowed to become a trained killing machine. Am I loosing my mind? Or was it a lapse in judgment while under this kind of stress. Either way I left that room hoping that I would never feel that way ever again.

My footsteps echoed throughout the hallway, my feet crashing into the metal floor like my shoes were made of led, my body and mind suddenly heavy from my own feelings of despair and hopelessness. I tried to think of why I would feel the way I did, in such an inhuman manor that I feared I wasn’t who I should be. “Don’t worry…”, my mind replied to me, “Were fine. You just have to remember that what you feel is because of them. They attacked you, imprisoned you, and provoked you into a rage. Your reaction to the creature’s death was nothing more then to mock its own futile effort to kill you. It was weak and even in its last moments of its pathetic life could not even scratch you. Such waste of power is quite understandable to laugh at.”

I pondered over what my mind was telling me, and while I couldn’t argue with its accurate depiction of what had happened, I still felt something was off about it. However, for now it had done it’s job, and I felt a bit lighter and ready to face the unknown, especially now that I had my own weapon. I smiled at my new knife, the blade still fresh and new, as if I had never even moved it through the flesh of a hideous beast. “Wait…”, I suddenly though to myself, “Why in the hell am I just standing here admiring my knife instead of getting the hell out of here?”

Finally out of whatever gutter I had put myself into, I made my way toward the double door down the hall, knowing that it was the last place I could check out before I ran out of options and had to open the ‘creepy door’. I shuddered for reasons unknown to me at the very thought of that door. Something inside me just made me want to avoid that door like the plague. Changing the subject to the double door, my mind flashed back to what it looked like before, a rather simple storage area leading to another hall. I idly wondered if I would find another blueprint of the store, only twisted looking and covered in blood, most like everything else here. I took on final glance back at the hall before I swung open the door and stepped into the next room.

What I saw was not anything I had expected. The walls were made up of stained glass held together by bands of wood, totally smooth to the touch as if they were actually one complete piece. The ceiling was high up, about twelve feet, and draped with some kind of red fabric that tented downward in the center of the room with a stunning ruby chandler hanging almost within reach of the floor. The floor it’s self was a marble masterpiece, with black and white checkers seamlessly blending together, the occasional gold tile catching my eye. Oddly, the stained glass was clear enough to see light piercing though, but to shaded to see anything beyond it. Finally, hanging from the walls were many types of paintings, varying from modern styles to ancient scriptures of artistic masterpiece. This room was beautiful, much more beautiful then I had ever seen in any home or museum. For a small amount of time I forgot the twisted world that I had stepped out of, only to come back with a feeling of fear for this room, as if it had something that could harm me. But what? The walls were made of glass, but able to hold themselves too well to come crashing down onto my head. That’s when I looked closer at one of the paintings and saw the truth to this room.

A figure stood within the painting, staring out toward a lake or sea, the only source of light a single ball of red underneath the water, what looked like thousands of arms sticking out of the water, so creepy looking that I swore they would wave at me when I wasn’t looking at them. The sky was bathed in gray clouds in the shape of a sinister looking grin, as if the sky was enjoying the torment of the water. I shook off a terrible feeling and quickly looked behind me as I felt something staring into the back of my head, only too see another creepy looking painting staring right at me. What looked to be the same figure was standing in front of a terrible battle of demonic forces, beasts of unnatural shape ripping and tearing into a smaller, weaker looking force. But for some reason, the battle in the painting seemed less one sided then it looked, the form of what looked to be an angel with bat wings pointing an extended finger at a familiar looking goat legged hulk, a large portion of it’s body ripped open from the attacks of the smaller creatures.

The goat figure… it was a Baron of Hell, a massive hell spawn that were only surpassed by the generals of hells arms, the Cyberdemon and the fabled mother of all demons the Spider Mastermind. They have a massive upper body, with pecs that could beat out any Mr. Universe and arms that could crush cars like tin cans. Its head is that of the typical depiction of a demon, glowing gold eyes, sharp shimmering teeth, jaw like marble and horns that usually grew into a curved point. Finally, its legs were that of a goat, with brown fur covering them completely, well, except for the hooves that it would stand on. In most battles against the hell spawn, there was usually only one BoH to a pack, and unfortunately that was all they needed in most cases.

As far as I could tell, this was depicting a battle that had happened long ago, between this strange bat winged angel and the hell spawn, and by the way the painting looked, the angel was winning. Though if this were the case, then why is it I felt quite uncertain that I would like either side to win if this battle were to reoccur. I had a terrible feeling that the paintings were looking at me when I looked away from them, as if neglecting to pay them heed would cause me harm. I started to glance around at the other pictures in a paranoid fashion, as if they were about to leap out at me. I can’t stand it any more, I have to get out of this room! I spun around to face the door I had came in through only to stop cold as I faced the same humanoid shape I had seen hanging before, sitting directly where the doors should have been. My heart jumped around my chest as I looked over the skin bound shape before me, watching as it slowly raised its arm from it’s side and pointed toward the wall behind me. I stumbled back, away from the horrid skin mummy, and fell to the floor, only to finally notice the creature had disappeared, just as before. I shakily stood, my hand unable to sit still for more then a second, my heart straining to beat once again. I slowly glanced to where the creature had pointed to see a door that had not existed before; made of the same rotting wood as the other doors I had been through. I pondered going back to the hall, only to quickly notice the severe lack of any other doors in this room. Well, I guess I have to go this way, with the full knowledge that it’s a setup. I made a quick paranoid glance around the room before making my way to the door uneventfully.

Beyond the door was a short hallway; square metal paneled ceiling and floor with ugly chipped yellowed walls leading up to a rusty metal door, a piece of notebook paper duct taped to it. Curiosity got the best of me as I walked down the hall and read what the out of place page had written on it. It was written messily with red ink, saying “i haD hOPed to bE helpFul to anyone else that may be trapped In thiS Horrible place. if you want to LIVE paSt the next room, do not make a single sound until you pass all th” The note ended abruptly with the h trailing away a bit before the pen had been lifted from the page. Who ever wrote this had to finish early. Should I listen to this mysterious note? While I don’t know what these creatures can do, I don’t think they would have written this note. I nodded at the note and slowly opened the door.

The room beyond was pitch black, without a single light to guide me beyond the doorway. I reached down into my pocket and pulled out the flashlight that I had used back when I was in the ‘normal’ version of this place, not remembering when I had put it in there in the first place. The beam of light shone silently into the room, revealing large rusty shelving units, about twenty four feet tall, with four separate shelves stacked onto each other, assorted boxes, mechanical parts, and wooden manikins piled randomly around haphazardly. I slowly closed the door making sure not to make a sound, and then made my way to one of the many manikins standing and sitting around on the shelves. I looked over the wooden dummy, making sure it wasn’t going to spring out at me from behind, only to see what you would come to expect from a semi creepy looking doll, nothing. I shone my light an the various boxes and metal parts on the same shelves, but didn’t want to attempt taking anything for fear of making a sound and awakening something hiding beyond my light. I began to venture further away from the door I had entered, slowly making my way past more and more lifeless manikins, until there were only these dolls occupying the shelves. My gut started to tell me this was bad, with all the dolls here I couldn’t tell if anything was hiding anywhere. I should turn back.

I turned around only to become confused on where I had been walking. Did I turn left here, or did I go straight? I don’t remember the way looking like this. I can’t even find a wall anymore, just more shelves, filled with decoys. My body started to shake; I was lost in this maze of dolls with no way of knowing what could be hiding beyond each shelf. I pulled my body closer together as I walked further and further through the maze, my body starting to move on it’s own, my mind starting to panic and make sloppy movements, until I finally grasped control and stood still, calming myself as much as I could. “I’m ok.”, I thought to myself, “As long as I stay calm I’ll get through this.”, I gave myself a weak smile and took another step forward, my foot clanging against the metal bolt it had kicked across the floor, the sound echoing throughout the massive room. My heart skipped into my throat and my fear rose quickly to terror beyond anything I had ever felt when every manikin suddenly snapped its head upright and facing directly at me.

Chapter 3, Metal, over.

Wow, that took forever to read, and even longer to write. :) I was going to add more to the 'picture room', but felt that I shouldn't dwindle on it. Besides, I'll likely have him go back into there again next chapter. :) Well, anywho, I'm thirsty and haven't slept a wink in who knows how long (it's 7:10am here. O_O; I need some pop.).

Buy bye! :D

[DemonDemon]

Ok, it's been about half a month now and I KNOW someone read the story, so say something! It's horribly disrespectful to read a story that someone worked on and not bother to post even a single word afterward. I've seen very well done storys go without a single coment while threads with a single picture of a stick figure and half an ass last for pages of comments. I don't care if you liked my story or not, if you read it then say SOMETHING about it. Mock my bad grammer, lack of wit, how you have more teeth then me! A picture is worth a thousand words, and most of you owe at least a hundredth of that to the writers on this board. Being silent is NOT a way of being kind to a writer because you don't want to say their story is bad.

Also, I haven't actually started on the fourth chapter and the way it looks right now, I may as well just make it the last if this is the kind of poor treatment writers are going to get here. The last two chapters had very few oppinions stated and the most recent post was on the FIRST chapter after it had been aged a year. A YEAR. Jeez, not even a cake or anything. This whole story is about 2 years old now, more so if you consider that it took me forever to make the first chapter. It also happens to be the first story I've written to last this long online (in fact, every story I started to write got too boring for me to continue. I even have a story that lasted five years before I just gave up on it. With no way to ever be able to transfer it to my computer totally intact or even the simplest clue as how to continue it I had to finally let it die.).

Ok, I've run out of steam here, forgot what point I was gonna put across, or why I came here to post this in the first place. It's not like anyone will actually read this. :P

[BlueSonnet]

It happens mate, though i pm for requests if things are that desperate. Still, let me congratulate your efforts (2 years? wow), with a wee review.

It was quite interesting. Very dark (well duh) atmosphere to it that i quite like, not to mention pretty bloody (well duh again).

I like how the story questions our hero's sanity, makes me wonder if he'll keep his cool to the end or snap and go off his trolly. I guess we'll find out next time. :P

The one i didn't like so much about it was the dramatic irony applied in the "I'm in a videogame" paragraph. It felt a little tedious\expected, and i'm sure the story can survive without it. Also perhaps it's just the approach i would take, i'd be a bit more aware of how the paragraphing can affect atmosphere. Sometimes i thought parts could deserve a paragraph to itself, even if its just one line down rather than two. I weren't jumping out of my seat when reading the skin mummy part.

Otherwise pretty good. More. Now.

[DemonDemon]

Heh, ok, I waited a bit to see if anyone else would provide even a bit of insight into their thought of the story, but one reply is good enough to at least say my story was answered to. :) Anyways, yeah, I know the video game part felt really corny, but after rewriting this part a few times, the basic origional feeling was what I left it with. I'll try to avoid the whole 'video game' thing, which even to me feels too tacked on. There IS a good reason for it, but I may just cut it out because its mention just doesn't fit the bill it was gonna fill.

Paragraphs. Yeah, I should use more of them. I keep grouping everything I can onto one long section because it feels off to split it up. For the next chapter I'll try and seperate the paragraphs more. Also, no, the next chapter will not be the last one, even if I felt like ending it it wouldn't be right to end it the way it is, especially after the first half of the next chapter, which I don't want spoil it for anyone, but will start to explain a few things going on, as well as be the LAST chapter the hero is in the 'mall' (he should have only spent two or at most three chapters in there, but I kept streatching the story in there).

Oh yeah, I'm also glad to see someone finally got how off balance this character was. My friend had read the very first chapter, didn't even get half way though, before she just goes "this guy's going nuts". :D

One more thing before I hobble off to the drawing board (not literaly), I should mention that I stuck a little easter egg of sorts into this chapter. Don't want to say WHAT it is, but I do plan on doing more eggs later on (some of which may not just be a nice little hole in the forth wall, but a diffrent part of the story. ;). Thought it would add a bit of fun to the story. I'll spoil the easter egg when I post the next Chapter, so don't be too sad if you can't find it. :) May even have another egg in chapter 4... >:D

Anywho, thanks for the review, I'll try to make the next chapter easier to go though, as well as just a little less then a year of rewriting. So, six months sound good? ;)