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darknation

lol internet!

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Adolf Hitler was sitting in the Fuhrerbunker thinking about decorating. The place was looking a bit grotty, that was for sure. Nothing that a lick of paint couldn't fix though.

"Himmler! Himmler!" cried Hitler, wrestling with his paintbrush, "Vat is dat smell? It smells like ze arseholes in here!"

"It is ze Jews, mine Furher!" said Himmler, bringing forth the paste bucket.

"Achtung!" said Hitler.

Suddenly Nick Baker walked into the room whistling 'wouldn't it be nice if everyone was nice'.

"Nick Baker!" cried Hitler, headbutting him in the face.

"Ouch," said Nick Baker.

"Nick Baker!" said Hitler, kicking him viscously in the groin with a jackboot, "What is zat smell?"

"Ouch," said Nick Baker, cradling his crushed testicles.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Achtung! It is ze Russians!" said Himmler, eating his cyanide wall paper paste.

"I'll get it!" said Nick Baker, bounding away up the stairs, his mangled manhood forgotten in the excitement.

"NEIN!" screamed Hitler, biting his paintbrush in half.

"Are you Russians?" Nick Baker asked the two grannies at the door.

"No," they replied, "we are simple germans who have baked the Furher some cookies in the shape of giant cookies!"

"COOKIES!" screamed Nick Baker in delight, prancing around the place like a poof in a poof factory, "COOKIES HITLER! THEY HAVE BROUGHT COOKIES!"

"Only joking," said the two russians as they threw off their granny hats, "We bring you DEATH!"

"I blame ze Jews. And Nick Baker," said Hitler as he was cut in half by murderous machine gun fire.

"I haf glued mine mouth shut," said Himmler.

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I have been pointed in the direction of this thread from elsewhere.

This kind of nonsense is what is known as "libel" and "defamation". If this nonsense continues, legal proceedings will begin. Also, the Telefragged administration will be informed if the Doomworld staff fail to deal with this and similar threads.

You have been warned.

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This isn't funny at all, and I can't see how it is a fan fic either (unless of course Mallis is a fan of Nick and/or Hitler)?

Nevertheless, in a way, the story actually portrays Nick as a hero, since his actions lead to Hitler's ultimate demise.

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Hate to be complainer but this is indeed stupid.

If I told this joke to my friends they'd ask:
WTF is up with You?

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Shockwav3 said:

and how does "libel" and "defamation" apply to a nobody?


Me being a "nobody" is purely personal opinion held by yourself and others and is not factual, thus it has absolutely no validity in a court of law. Even if it did, in the Western world every living person is entitled to the protection of their country's law, regardless of their personality or how anyone else perceives them.

Suing people for libel on internet message boards has been succesfully achieved in the past, and it can and will be successfully achieved in the future.

I'm giving the DW staff 24 hours to remove this thread and the "where Nick Baker goes to die" description of Post Hell. After that, the TF administration will be hearing about the situation, and they have a far more professional and no-nonsense attitude than the DW staff is currently displaying.

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Ok DN I just realized how silly this story is.

Baker it's just DN's nature acting like this. React more and he'll do more.

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BlackFish said:

CAN YOU TAKE A JOKE? I SURELY SEE NOT!

It isn't intended as a joke, it's purpose is to be a "humorous" personal attack. As other users have commented, the humourous part doesn't even work, since it isn't actually funny.

BlackFish said:

Baker it's just DN's nature acting like this. React more and he'll do more.

The fact people find his behaviour to be perfectly acceptable sums up my entire problem with the place :|.

And if I wanted to be called "Baker", that would be my username, thank you very much.

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Ok enough.

NiGHTMARE: As much as I like you and your work, I think you are over reacting with this whole 'community' rant.

mallis: Please stop acting like a moronic asshole or you will be treated as one. Consider it a warning.

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I'm with Shav.

Next person we see try and make a funney or some zealous stand will be losered for a long time.

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