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Janderson

Question of Conscience (and food)

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What would you do if your food could scream, cry and plead? Like if you walk into a kitchen it sounds like Hell, the peas are begging you to spare their brethren and taking bite causes the cheese cake to give an animal cry of agony and bubbling like you just bit off a vital organ. You have a plate of chips, all screaming like they're on fire, you pick one up with your fork and it's like; "Aagghh! No! Please... oh God no! Don't! Noooooo!" Then you chew, but you swallow early and the little bastard is burning and agonising (is it a word) in your gut. Could you still eat?

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I would never eat a girl made of fudge.

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You know, I once thought of a very similar idea to this, only it involved muffins. Like, what if muffins were some kind of animal rather than a confectionary and breakfast treat? So instead of the fluffy goodness you would expect to find inside of a muffin, they had blood, bones, organs and maybe a brain and stuff instead, so when you bit into one, they would explode with all sorts of bodily juices. I have no idea why I originally thought of something like that, though. :/

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I tell all my vegan friends that trees scream when you cut them.

Cause they do.

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Yes. And this would be rated M for persistent, non-stop violence. However, we have found mild sexual content between the snickers bar and the bottle of orange juice, so we have re-rated this AAAAAAO. Heh jk, but i would, actually. I mean, it would be so funny. What would suffer the most pain, huh? or WHO? hmm think about that.

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Janderson said:

What would you do if your food could scream, cry and plead? Like if you walk into a kitchen it sounds like Hell, the peas are begging you to spare their brethren and taking bite causes the cheese cake to give an animal cry of agony and bubbling like you just bit off a vital organ. You have a plate of chips, all screaming like they're on fire, you pick one up with your fork and it's like; "Aagghh! No! Please... oh God no! Don't! Noooooo!" Then you chew, but you swallow early and the little bastard is burning and agonising (is it a word) in your gut. Could you still eat?

Those would be the coolest chips ever. I guess it's no big deal if you already supply your own sound effects with anything shaped like an animal or person. "Oooooh nooooooooo!" </Mr. Bill voice>

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Personally, I would savour food even more if it fought back...

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DooMer87 said:

Yes. And this would be rated M for persistent, non-stop violence. However, we have found mild sexual content between the snickers bar and the bottle of orange juice, so we have re-rated this AAAAAAO.

Please stop going on and on and on about this, especially in threads that have nothing to do with it. Consider this a warning.

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DooMer87 said:

I mean, it would be so funny. What would suffer the most pain, huh? or WHO? hmm think about that.

It would be the wedding cake or large things which you must cut up to insert into your face, but also things you don't have to chew like peas who will spend hours being digested in your stomach.

So the screaming wouldn't put you off? What about the "You can eat me, but please don't eat my daughters!"? Or what if the food was negotiating with you? Would you talk back?

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Janderson said:

What would you do if your food could scream, cry and plead?


It can, and then... I kill it.

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fodders said:

After a particularly good smoking session, my food often screams at me :P


You need whacky tobaccy to get that experience? I thought all you had to do was concentrate really really hard :P

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there has to be a point at which the food dies, like how many times do you cut the cake before it stops screaming?

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Let's not forget mashed potatoes. I mean.... they've ALREADY been mooshed. shouldn't the potatoes be dead?

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Xanthier said:

there has to be a point at which the food dies, like how many times do you cut the cake before it stops screaming?

I guess that would depend on the cake's level, exp., AP, and relevent junctioning.

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