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Two extremes

Your stance?  

19 members have voted

  1. 1. Your stance?

    • Watch what happens if my kid tries some bullshit like that
      5
    • Violence is never good, but parents should be more stern
      8
    • I have no opinion on raising children
      2
    • Parents today could stand to be slightly more accomodating
      1
    • I\'d like to skin that bitch
      3


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I present two videos that seem to be on opposite sides of the child/guardian relationship spectrum:

http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1123665687
http://www.steakandcheese.com/content/detail.asp?ID=21085&type=1&page=1

(WARNING: Video sites, prepare for pop-ups and whatnot)

I'd like to open this to discussion. I can't say I lean to either side; both of these videos get me pretty steamed. Maybe it has more to do with personal frustration than my actual stance on the matter.

I wouldn't go so far as to say genuinely malicious people don't exist-- but more often than not, these kinds of situations are usually the result of the inability to deal with anger and miscommunication. Sadly, this degrades into a power struggle that is more and more representative of our decaying family dynamic.

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OK...

One is video feed from some online game, where some prepubescent is overheard on voice chat verbally abusing his mother because he's "in a clan match" and that's more important than going to bed or lowering the volume to a dull roar.

The other video shows a woman slapping a very small child around because it won't stop crying.

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For the first one...meh, didn't watch it all. It was kinda dumb.

For the second one...FUCK THAT BITCH GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING WORTHLESS SACK OF PUTRID SHIT

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I'm pro-choice!

Stance? Those are mothers who are rather miserable (they lack "self confidence," as cliched as that may sound), so the their relationships with their children suck. My "stance" is to have a better life than theirs, be more fortunate and less lame.

I didn't really watch the second one, but I've seen poor or uneducated mothers slapping or shoving their children in the street or while waiting at the train station.

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If my little idiots ever tell me a MMORPG is more important than going to bed, first I'm going to take them to a shrink, because they have societal issues, and second, I'm going to make it a point to get them up at 4:00 AM and make sure that they don't sleep during the day. Neither are abuse, its called teaching by consequences (and getting you a life).

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If you're a good parent, neither extreme should ever be a problem, if you ask me. As I remember, there are three kinds of parenting: permissive, authoritative, and authoritarian. The first video is a classic example of permissive parenting; the parents obviously set no boundaries, so by the time the kid goes to far, it's too late to do anything about it. The second video is an extreme example of authoritarian parenting; where it boils down to little more than a power struggle between parent and child. This is also not effective at all.

Authoritative parenting, however, is a good middle ground between those two. Limits are set, boundaries established, but at the same time, it is made very clear why these limits and boundaries exist. In other words, when a child is told to do something, more of a reason is given than "Because I said so." In this way, the child grows to respect the parent, and understand that what the parent decides is really in the child's best interest, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time.

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Wake your child early in the morning, slap the fuck out of it, get it over with for the rest of the day. :p

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meh i dunno, no opinion i guess, but my family is very open, we all love each other, but we say how we feel to each other. like, i mean we all will speak our minds about each other, even if it sometimes may seem weird to people who are used to kids never talking back. but we all do it, and its not because we hate each other, its because we're more open which is healthier. I mean I know kids who cant talk back to thier parents, and they have a lot of pentup anger inside which they let out in other ways, so I think its healthier to let your feelings be known. however the first one (didnt see either) sounds more like the kid is being a bit bratty, which is different, i mean I can relate but i guess you should try to be more um, quieter when trying to get your way, and not start off with a screaming match. of course i didnt listen to the first one, so i dunno

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Funnily enough I was brooding over my cheeky bastard sister when I watched these two videos. First of all I'm glad she's not as bad as the child in the first clip and you cheered me up immensely. Then I watched the second one and now I'm pissed again. (thanks a lot! :P)

As for my stance, I believe that whilst having friendlike semi-athoratative parents is more fun I believe I could have achieved a lot more if I was raised with a belt and cane.

Bring canes back to school, and the work place.

EDIT: That little motherfucker,I never got to hear the bit about the milkshake. Man that kid should be put down.

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I am not a father yet. I fully intend to have at least one child of my own, really. When my kids are young, if they give me SERIOUS crap (refusing to do what I tell them in favor of a video game of somesuch, arguing with me over something simple) WHAP. Sometimes, it takes a smack upside the head to teach a kid. I wouldn't do this in excess, my god no! I'd only give em a smack if they did something bad that I didn't want turning into a major habit.
My parents never hesitated to give me a smack, but only when I NEEDED it. I recognize this now that I'm an adult. I love them so very much, and if it weren't for the occasional pop upside the head when I was little (not to mention the harness. That SOB saved my life once or twice) I probably would have grown up to be a right bastard like I'm seeing kids be these days.

I don't advocate child abuse, those people are inhuman.

I do advocate occasional instantaneous discipline in physical form. Teaches kids to behave around their parents.

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I'd get a switch for the 1st kid. I wouldn't put up with that bullshit. I'd kick the bitch in the head in the 2nd video. That's fucked up.

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Imp said:

I'd get a switch for the 1st kid. I wouldn't put up with that bullshit. I'd kick the bitch in the head in the 2nd video. That's fucked up.

You know Imp..... that's perfect. That's exactly what I'd do.

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The second video is actually more tame than what I'd originally intended. There's another new video floating around with some spanish guy abusing his kids in a pseudo-sexual way. It's genuinely disturbing...

So.
I guess the popular opinion here is that the power adults have over their offspring is something that should be used more often and with more respect (reverence? not sure what word to use here). I guess it boils down to responsibility; but something I find isn't well-defined is how much responsibility should be put upon children at certain ages.

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I don't take shit from people. Least of all my kids (if I had had any that is). But I don't believe in violense as a means to solve conflicts. Psycology is much more effective. If they try to step on my authoroty. They will face the reprecussions.

Luckily I don't intend to get any kids, so I won't have to deal with all that crap in the first place, so. Problem solved.

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As a father of a 2 year old child, and having many close nieces and nephews, I can speak from some experience. There comes a point when corporal punishment (a good whack!) is necessary for todlers. They don't have the reasoning skills yet for a "time-out" (God I hate that term) to work effectively. The family dog understands cause and effect better at this point. Very young children (babies to about 2 years old) just need lots of love and attention, and for parents to be attentive and figure out why the little one is crying. Hitting babies to 2 year olds should be (is?) a crime, and should be punishible by public flogging or the old Puritan stocks. Stoning might be and option. I have a hard time not beating the piss out of women like the video shows, but if I did I would be the one in jail.

By being consistent, and setting boundaries when young, you avoid the situation found in the first video. Kids will still act out to continually test the limits, but I've found most will respect you if you treat them with dignity and not just yell, scream, and beat them. Just be firm and don't let them get away with murder. If you have to result to corporal punishment just remember they will eventually come to realize they derserved it. I know I did, and I thank my parents for beating (just spanking, not punching or anything more violent) me when I truly deserved it. Although they were wrong and beat me few times for something my brother did and conned them into thinking it was me, but that's another story and I paid him back for that long ago!

My bottom line: know your kids, talk to your kids, be firm with boundaries, teach them well, and spend as much time as possible with your kids. If you mess up and they turn out to be imps, you can't just blame society. You have their future in you hands.

-Peace out

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i'm forced to see women like that on the bus every day, constantly hitting thier kids every time they ask questions or look around or fidget, its disgusting. they fucked thier own lives up, not thier toddler.

edit: also I looked at the first one O_O wow that kid just sounds like a spoiled brat.

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If you think of your future children as "little idiots" then arrange a vasectomy right now.

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AndrewB said:

If you think of your future children as "little idiots" then arrange a vasectomy right now.

But little kids ARE idiots.

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AndrewB said:

If you think of your future children as "little idiots" then arrange a vasectomy right now.

I try and think of most things in the worst possible way I can. It's gotten me far enough in the world to avoid being run over twice, and avoid being stabbed once. However you may be one of those people that think overly pessimistic people like myself should die.

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The problem with overly-pessimistic people is that they're least likely to accept that their outlook doesn't work for anyone else but themselves.

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HobbsTiger1 said:

I try and think of most things in the worst possible way I can. It's gotten me far enough in the world to avoid being run over twice, and avoid being stabbed once. However you may be one of those people that think overly pessimistic people like myself should die.

I said get a vasectomy, not kill yourself. Although if you insist on having children that you dislike then maybe you should kill yourself.

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I didn't say I wouldn't like them. Little kids are idiots, though. It takes a very naive person or someone with an unhealthy amount of love towards humaninty to believe otherwise. And your opinion really brightens my day.

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Just for clarity.

Merriam-Webster definitions:

Main Entry:id*i*ot
Function:noun
Etymology:Middle English, from Latin idiota ignorant person, from Greek idiotes one in a private station, ignorant person, from idios one's own, private

1 : a mentally retarded person requiring complete custodial care
2 : a foolish or stupid person


Kids definitely are not all retarded so:

Main Entry:stu*pid
Function:adjective
Etymology:Middle French stupide, from Latin stupidus, from stupere to be numb, be astonished

1 : very dull in mind
2 : showing or resulting from dullness of mind

Kids are definitely not (most anyway) dull in mind. Most have very active minds, such as a great imagination.

So:

Main Entry:fool*ish
Function:adjective

1 : showing or arising from folly or lack of judgment
2 : ABSURD : RIDICULOUS
3 : ABASHED


I think this best represents kids. Foolish - lack of judgement. I just wanted to clarify because a huge problem with child rearing and hinderances to healthy psyche development of children is that they ARE TREATED LIKE IDIOTS. Most kids have the mental capacity to be quite brilliant if nurtured when young, and not stiffled by being treated like an imbecile. Just one of my soap box issues, particularly pertinent here as we have just seen two examples of what happens when you are raised as an idiot (one a child, the other a mother who will probably raise another problem for the world to deal with).

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