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Linguica

This Just In, Doom Movie Is Terrible

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Wow, who would have thought. The Doom movie, scheduled for release October 21, has started filtering out into advance screenings and the verdict is, well, less than excellent. IESB has a scathing review and someone on the CHUD forums has a, uh, scathing review. Oh, there's a positive review on AICN, but it's so hilariously obviously a studio plant it's not worth taking seriously whatsoever. Apparently the original reports of no space marines and no Hell were in fact correct, and the recent "correction" by the executive producer was full of shit. Another awful video game movie, hooray!!!

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Oh boy. And I wanted to believe, I really did. I could forgive B-quality acting and cheezy effects as long as it would have been faithful to the game - But this, this is inexusable and is actually really disheartening that id would allow something of this quality pass with it's seal of approval on it. Shame.

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God damn at least the imps could've thrown fireballs!! And I understand why they didn't go with the hell plot, but mutation and genome crap is just shitty. Creatures of unknown origin would've been fine with me. Oh, and one more thing, WHERE'S THE SHOTGUN????!!!!

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Actually, I don't think id was in any position to encourage and much less enforce a good movie. And DOOM 3 may have been okay but was a step towards this franchise junk. Well, maybe it'll make some people curse the movie and then check the games to see what hollywood exploited this time around.

Also, heh, hopefully by november 4th (that's when they release it here) there won't be enough shit going around to discourage me from even seeing it... I didn't even fully read the reviews, just the intros, since they go into details too much.

I recently contributed DOOM info for an article on the movie (and the games behind it) by a friend on this magazine, and the current issue in particular. Maybe I should go to the pre-release... especially if I can get a free ticket!

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Ah, excellent. When "reviewers" bad mouth something it means there's an 88% probability I'll enjoy it. Disappointing they didn't follow Doom's storyline closer, but it sounds interesting none the less.

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baronofhell said:

And I understand why they didn't go with the hell plot

Really? I SURE AS FUCK DON'T.

Major Ouchface.

Yes, I do believe this is a rare case of appropriate ouchface. Ravage?

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bryant robinson said:

I dont get it...Doom is actually the simplist thing to create into a movie. Why?

I concur, seems like Hollywood enjoys ruining simple things through over-complication, we never asked for a plot, we just asked for Demon skull bashing for three hours.

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Numbermind said:

Yes, I do believe this is a rare case of appropriate ouchface. Ravage?

I think it's ZarcyB you're thinking of. Also, I'll probably see it anyway. I've wasted $8 on worse.

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Wow. How could anyone fuck up such a simple plot is beyond me?

-Humans tinker with teleporters and "gates" found in "anomalies" on Mars, Phobos and Deimos
-Said teleporters and gates begin sending in a clusterfuck of death
-Marine detail goes to Phobos because they are close-by on Mars.
-Then this is where the Hell stuff comes in to the fact that this takes place in a mining facility with areas dedicated to R&D as well.

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some guy wrote:
***spoilers!

Rowdy Roddy Piper is the main bad guy and he takes down The Rock by smashing him over the head with a coconut ala Jimmy 'Superfly' Snuka.

ahahaha

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And just when I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, this shows up. If those reviews are for real (and I certainly hope that they're just practical jokes, somehow) I'm extremely disappointed in ID for not grabbing their own heavy weaponry and kicking Universal's collective ass.

Hollywood screws everything up, and it really pisses me off. I'd just told my parents how good it was expected to be, and now I'm here going "gosh...now they won't even consider letting me see it."

Again, though, I sincerely hope that those reviews are practical jokes or deliberate red herrings, to fool people into thinking it sucks, and then surprising everyone. I noticed a few segments where it seemed like the reviewer missed a key point or two. Also, after reading the previous interview about the movie, I think that the possibility of these reviews being a joke is more likely.

Well, hopefully it can be a good movie in it's own right. Maybe someday, when public opinion and fan hatred has killed this one, the guys at Id will make an independent version. Heaven knows they're probably rich enough.

Like I said, I do have hope for the authenticity of the film in it's own right. The production notes on doommovie.com spoke of the entire cast having a crash course in weapons and special forces tactics, so at least they'll be convincing.

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Numbermind said:

Really? I SURE AS FUCK DON'T.

Yes, I do believe this is a rare case of appropriate ouchface. Ravage?

Zarkyb.

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I'm still going to watch it for myself before I make any opinions on it. Critics are unreliable from my experience.

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WildWeasel said:

I'm still going to watch it for myself before I make any opinions on it. Critics are unreliable from my experience.


Amen for that. I have stopped even reading game\movie reviews. I am of course going to go see it, though I don't expect much... to say the least. Its a matter of principal.

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IESB said:

Update![/b] For those of you who have been asking if this is a real review all I can say is that I do know this reader and he did indeed attend the Junket screening that took place on the 6th of October in Westwood at the AMC AVCO. Also for the record he is a big Doom fan and a major gamer.

Oh Poodle sticks :(

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When will Hollywood learn to stick with what works and has been working for this game since it first came out!?!??!

It's like books, you hardly evern see a director follow a book, or if they do, then capture the essence of the character, they always have to sell EVERYTHING out.

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they only took out Hell, because there's so many retarded christians around that like watching violent movies/w out hell.

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KingofFlames said:

they only took out Hell, because there's so many retarded christians around that like watching violent movies/w out hell.

So explain how Constantine made it into theatres without a problem.

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KwadDamyj said:

So explain how Constantine made it into theatres without a problem.


same way the Exorcist did, retarded christian =P
vested interest..
'in god we trust'

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I think I can hear James Cameron yelling "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!" right about now.

To paraphrase Private Vasquez, "Pendiro jerkoffs." :(

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Ok I think Quake 4 gets priority over this one. You know if they just used the Doom novels as a base for the movie the movie would be alot better.

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