DOOM LIES!

[Captain Red]

over the years, amny things have been said about doom, some of is good, some of it bad...

...and some of it just plain odd. Have you ever heard somebody say something about doom that's just plain wrong? like for example, this christian spotlight review of goldeneye that refers to doom as having "sex in animated bathrooms", (he was problby thinking of Duke Nukem 3D) or a reporter claiming doom II had a secrite level that involved killing babies (the commander keen bit in Grosse), and then there are bald face lies such as this review of doom.

Post any examples of this you can remember, that you might have heard.

[Bashe]

I remember reading that Doom review at GameFAQs...FUGGING LIARS! They should be lynched for lying just to make the game sound bad.

[KwadDamyj]

Anything pertaining to the Columbine incident. Ged damn ye, Eric Harris...

[Bucket]

I need to get me one of them Mookrakers.

[TwinBeast]

That reviewer sucks at reviewing games. He's completely biased against the game and makes up false stories about it, which is against his own religion. He's breaking the ninth commandment of the religion, which goes something like this:"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor".

[TheDarkArchon]

The guy even fails it at Doom's release date (1995, my arse)

[188DarkRevived]

LOL, I don't see how playing DOOM for longer than one hour makes me feel any anxious or depressed.
Perhaps the guy who typed that review was on a medical condition of some sort at the time of reviewing?

[Ninja_of_DooM]

I love these kind of reviews. Make me laugh every darned time I read them.

[Kristian Ronge]

I've seen this mentioned before on DW. I forgot just how hilarious it is. "Extra points are given for a shot in the head."... heh.

[Csonicgo]

http://www.gamefaqs.com/computer/doswin/review/R75438.html

yeah.

[Nikanoru]

lol religion

[Bank]

When you end up being killed by the progressively bigger and badder demons on each new level, the screen pans back to show your dying body crumpled to the ground and the bloodthirsty demons eating you like a piece of meat.

Now that would have been cool, lazy id bastards...

For those who said there is no sexual content, I disagree. During the ending credits it shows the "good girl" scientist make out with James in the Cuban jungle. Also, in the JUNGLE stage, Xenia is wearing next to nothing. For the people that use the invisibility cheat, this is especially evident. Also I would like to point out that when using mines, grenades, grenade launchers, or rocket launchers, the explosion throws your enemies off your feet and they scream bloody murder. Also in the JUNGLE stage, the "good girl" scientist wields a fictional Cougar Magnum which, in the game, has the capability of blowing holes in people. Although the most rapid fire gun in the game (the RPC-90) does not spew blood on the wall, another one does. A high-powered fully automatic sniper rifle that wields 5 inch NATO shells (at least by the looks of them) in fact. This gun, the AR-33, can and will be the cause of major violence. In one of the levels, nearly every soldier wields these and the game over sequences can be pretty bloody. The remaining soldiers wield "mookrakers," fictional lasers that burn you alive. Also, throughout the game, are "Drones", mounted gatling guns bent on tearing you apart. And they do. As a final point, in the airstrip stage, there are huge mounted AAA guns just lying in wait to destroy your plane, sending your rotted corpse out the windshield. I destroyed this game even though my friend offered me $50 for it.

As for Goldeneye, for someone with so many "morals" he certainly knows a lot about ammunition and firearms...

[188DarkRevived]

The only 2 sentences from the whole article given in Csonicgo's link which were actually true and on which I could actually agree were:
"Doom delivers punishing enemies who will whoop your ass. And hordes of them."
Other than those 2 measly sentences, everything else was lies, lies, and even more lies.

Where do these freaks come from?

[DarkFoxSoldier20]

Dark Corridors? Where is that? And man he complains alot. I do agree that the music didn't match alot of the PC version. That's why I mostly liked the PSX version because of the Ambient music made by Aubrey. I forget his last name....

[Koko Ricky]

Hodges is his last name. He'd done work for like 70 other games, it's incredible. The music he did for PSX and N64 versions of Doom (and the Quake 64 game) are just incredible, as I've mentioned before on this forum. I'm listening to some of his work as I type this. Anyway, those reviews make me mad and make me laugh at the same time. It's pathetic what kind of lies some people will insert into a review in order to make a controversial product seem even moreso. I dunno what a Christian would have against a game in which you KILL DEMONS anyway :-p But yeah, that's pretty funny. Silly religious types.

[Nick Perrin]

For people lazy to read the gamefaq article.... (forgive me for saying this) OMG. READ THIS:

"The enemy sprites are also far too pixilated; it looks like something from a Commodore 64. I mean, get close to an enemy. It looks like a big pile of colors that's just thrown all over your screen."

REVIEWED IN 2004!!! WHAT AN IDIOT!!

"the AI is the worst in any shooter I've ever played"

AI IN SHOOTERS DIDN'T EVEN EXIST BEFORE THIS GAME AND WOLF3D!

"but what I'd like to point out is: HOW THE HELL CAN YOU JUMP? Your character is that stupid; you need stairs to go up."

THIS GUY IS A COMPLETE RETARD. JUMPING WASN'T IN FPSes FOR A LONG TIME.

"To make things worse, the weapons in this game are boring and plain unoriginal. I mean, a shotgun, a rocket launcher, some really fast guns, etc... I'm sorry, but we've been there and done that. Dozens of times."

THANKS TO WHAT GAME EXACTLY HAVE WE SEEN THIS DOZENS OF TIMES? DOOM, STUPID!!

The problem here is obvious, he reviewed DooM as if it came out a year ago. WHAT a dumbass. And about that christian games site... it's absolutely useless, they hate every game with even just little bits of violence, so they basically give bad reviews to EVERY game.
They also make lies about the engines of tons of games, although the lies about doom are the worst I've seen.

[Nick Perrin]

HERE WE GO, CHRISTIAN SPOTLIGHT LIES ABOUT HL2:

"On the sour note character models are not as good as Doom 3, nor can the Source engine do per pixel lighting affects. But come on you got to be excited about what Source does."

WRONG! HL2's engine was publicized mainly on those two things being superior to any other engine at the time, its character models/facial expression and per pixel lighting effects(shaders). It's like these guys don't even play the games they review.

"A lot of the sounds that could be brought over from Half-Life came into the new game. So if you didn’t like the crowbar sound it’s back. If you didn’t like the underpowered sound of the machine gun it’s back."

If you've played both half-life games, you'll see once again: WHAT THE HELL VERSION OF THE GAME IS THIS GUY PLAYING? None of those sounds are carried over from the last HL.

"Half-Life is more CPU bound than any game to date."

It can run on just about any machine above 1.5 ghz nice and smooth with okay gfx settings, whereas, say, doom3....

Anyway... read other reviews on there for more laughing fun.
http://www.christiananswers.net/spotlight/games/home.html

[myk]

TheDarkArchon said:
The guy even fails it at Doom's release date (1995, my arse)

He's right, actually; he's talking about The Ultimate DOOM. Plus let's give the guy some slack... he gave it a 5/5 on gameplay!

It is not illegal to kill demons

Heh, it's not illegal.

[TwinBeast]

Wow, that christian site actually gave a pretty good review about Deus Ex, but they said 4 different endings? I only found 3 different and yea... getting yourself killed... maybe that's the 4th ending in it. Or could you have stayed as an UNATCO agent and not join the terrorists and save the world from the conspiracy behind UNATCO?

[Technician]

Heres a lie.

http://www.angelfire.com/scary/doomlegacy/News.html

Claims to have written legacy and Doomsday. And is selling them both. And the Doom and Doom 64 iwads.

[Bank]

I SAY GOOD DAY!

[myk]

Report that to Angelfire pointing to the engine sites where the real copyright is stated. There mere false trademark will make them pull the page down. Also, noting he (or it) is selling id copyrighted graphics will do the same, since that's downright illegal.

Edit: Heh, it's already gone?

[Nick Perrin]

I can't access that page. Maybe he's already been shut down. Good.

[Bank]

Nick Perrin said:

I can't access that page. Maybe he's already been shut down. Good.

That's astounding! 15 minutes and a deleted site, wonderlust!

[Nick Perrin]

Haha... you're right. I'm not thinking...

[Bloodshedder]

I just happened to have one page of it still open in a tab...here you go.

Oh...and this.

[Jehar]

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die."
-Michael J. Hardy (© June 1st, 2005)

THAT pisses me off more than anything else on the site. HOW DARE he!

[myk]

Heh, hadn't noted that. It has to be a gargantuan internet troll...

[Nick Perrin]

None of the sidebar links work for me... can you get them to work? Only the home page works... I can't believe he made a fake changelog. 20$ for legacy. Jeez.

[myk]

That is a backup posted by Bloodshedder on... you fail it!