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Guardian

die jack thompson die!

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Yep, those zany people over at the Gargoyles chat-room I frequent have done it again. By impersonating the evil man-demon we know as Jack Thompson, we were able to get out a few of our own antagonisms against the bastard . . .

NOTE: There's some bad language, it could get nasty, and this was performed half past midnight Pacific Standard so most of us hadn't slept in at least twelve hours plus, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of us were on something . . .

If I am violating any forum or website rules, Mistoer or Miss Moderator, EDIT or Delete this post at your leisure, and please accept my apologies. We were just having some fun.

The lead-up: Slither was introduced previously in a lukewarm reception of a chibi image, pairing him with his Duke Nukem ‘raptor lackey. While walking down the street one day, he came across a shady dealer of “ceremonial knives” that bore a striking resemblance to a intellectually copyrighted set of swords a certain Andusian uses . . .

Apparently, the entire thing was a setup . . .

Man on the Street
(23:59) Slither>*Stops you with a strong grip* I can't do it because...I'm really....*Grabs his rubber Face.*

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:01) *stopped; snarls* Hey, what are -- *sees Man pulling off face* Ewww!

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:02) Slither>*Pulls face off all the way* Attonery Jack Thompson, and you are a violent video game

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:03) *screams like a girl* AhhhhhhhohmygodCaroletoldmeaboutthethreadaboutyouintheDOOMWorldforumbackhomeandyou are
*takes a DEEP breath*
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:04) Slither>That I am.....That I am.*Trips a little girl*

Arboreal (Andusian Blade on Tail, Hair Tied) 2
(00:04) *ears perk, girly scream?*

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)
(00:05) Bo> *growls, hearing the scream too* ... Did you just hear DOOM world?

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:05) *terrified, and proceeds to attempt to slap away Jack's hand* Eww eww eww get away get away from me you catharsis killer!

Arboreal (Andusian Blade on Tail, Hair Tied) 2
(00:05) Vic> what do you mean remember when?....yeah... I heard Doom World.... O_O Slither!

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)
(00:06) Bor> *nods, tossing cash onto the bartop, and thudbooms on out* C'mon, Shabby's friend is probably in trouble.

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:06) Slither>*Grows Devil horns.* But my little Imp, you represent the degredation of our socitey, *Gets a pitch fork, and flames surrond him.*

Arboreal (Andusian Blade on Tail, Hair Tied) 2
(00:06) Vic>*staggers to feet, launches into ACTON!*

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:07) *sniffs a little* I can't die, I'm too important . . . Hey, I am a Classic DOOM Imp! Get the name right, you disgusting excuse for a human being! Call that PvP dude a pissant, you bastard . . .

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)
(00:07) Jack> HEY. GET AWAY FROM THAT WOMAN. *approaching with the stealth of a submarine in a cornfield*

ack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:08) Vic>*Turns and is back to normal* Thank god, you are here, this violent video game character was about to kill me.

Arboreal (Andusian Blade on Tail, Hair Tied) 2
(00:09) Vic> *running ahead of you, on all fours*

Arboreal (Andusian Blade on Tail, Hair Tied) 2
(00:09) Slither! :D *hugs!* what are you doing way out here?!

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)
(00:10) Jack> He was about to kill you? He's a bureaucrat. You're full of shit. And you reek of LAW. -_- *begins to cross arms, but then stops and just flaps his wings once angrily*

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:10) Hey! I am not a woman! I --- *looks down* well, I'm not a woman! I know that!
*hugged, latches onto Arboreal like a child awakened by a night terror* OhmygodsavemefromthehorribalJackThompsonwhowantstodestoryallcahtarsesandplungeEarthintocenturiesofanarchyanddisgustingandterribleactsofterribletortureuponhumanbeings
*takes a DEEP breath*

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:10) Vic>Look if you kill him, I will donate 10,000 dollars to your favourite charity.

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:11) *frowns* But then, who'll lead the Union?
*luckily, keeps a boot disk of himself in his boxers!*

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)
(00:11) Jack> I'm hungry. Why don't I just kill and eat you, and donate your corpse to myself? My digestive tract is my favorite charity. *growls, baring fangs*

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:12) Vic>You sir have been playing to many violent video games, it has warped your mind.

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:13) Slither>*Turns to you regrowing devil horns* I WILL FEAST ON YOUR PROGRAMMING!

Arboreal (Andusian Blade on Tail, Hair Tied) 2
(00:13) Slither> yes yes, I've got you now you little pointy guy
Jack> O_o... I'll warp your mind...

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)

(00:13) Jack> Hasn't it though? *pounces, like a huge winged metallic cat*

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:13) *screeches at Jack Thompson and burries head in Boreal's massive wings* Savemefromtheevilman-demonwhogivesCarmacknightmares!

Arboreal (Andusian Blade on Tail, Hair Tied) 2
(00:13) Jack> O_O no feasty in my pointy friend! *eyes burst into glowing white*

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:14) Vic>*Is knocked over* Oh god......

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)
(00:15) Jack> *crouches, metal knee at your throat, pressing down on your chest with his weight* You'll feast on whose programming? Can you even eat programming?

Arboreal (Andusian Blade on Tail, Hair Tied) 2
(00:15) Slither> aww there there *patpat*
Jack> *wields tail, blade or not, will use it to maim you @_@

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:16) Vic>*Regrows Horns*I AM JACK THOMPSON, I WILL DEVOUR ALL YOUR MEGABYTES

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:16) *sniffs a bit, and whimpers, and pokes head out from Boreal's massive wings* Go gettim Victor!

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)
(00:17) Bor> *is on him, probably blocking you ;)*
Jack> I don't have megabytes. I'm flesh and blood. *leans forward, tries to bite off one of your horns*

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:17) Vic>*It is the taste of all things bile, and wrong.* ARGHHH!!. *Flails about*

Arboreal (Andusian Blade on Tail, Hair Tied) 2
(00:18) Sliher> *holds like a toddler*
Vic> *see that now, will grab what he can and pull it off*
Jack>*grabs what he can with his tail and will pull!*

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:18) Bo>*Has things pulled* ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:18) *pulls out a paper and pen from his boxers, proceeds to make notes like a journalist -- with embellishments*
And thenm like some metallic avenging angel from the stars over Na Pali --- Victor, friend to all Syndicates, clamped his mighty jaws upon the Evil Man-Demon's . . . *grins and writes something nasty*

Slither (Classic DOOM Imp; wears baseball cap & boxer shorts)
(00:19) Hey, how'd this get in here? *pulls out a huge wad of fertilizer and tosses it towards Jack Thjompson's eyes*
That's for Malcom Corley, you minivan-maker . . .! Wait, this isn't Ripburger . . .

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)
(00:19) Jack> ... Urgh... *spits it out, then gives you a violent headbutt* Stop screaming. -_-

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:20) Slither>ARRRGGGGHHHH!!! My Eyes

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:20) Vic>*Is headbutted, goes unconscious*

Victor (Loose jeans, red t-shirt. Metal left leg, missing right arm, leafy wings.)
(00:21) Jack> *smirks smugly, giving you a nice clawing across your face at an angle, making you a nice dramatic wound for a scar later*

Jack Thompson (Attorney, and hater of all things violent and video gamey)
(00:22) Vic>*Scarred up....will just complain to the police like he did about Penny Arcade*

And for those of you that haven’t had enough of the Evil Man-Demon, here’s a link to an image of him. Feel free to add horns and fangs and other nasty things at your leisure!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/eb/Jack_Thompson_%28attorney%29.jpg

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Guardian said:

*shrugs* Apparently, this role-playing thing is a love-hate deal. I love it, I had a great time.

Yeah, you said it. I've been debating with myself on whether or not I should move this... Well, as long as no shit hits the fan, I'll keep it around.

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Are you suggesting people might actually have a problem with role-playing? I'm genuinely curious.

But hey, I'm in no mood to get people angry. If anything, I thought I'd get a couple laughs. I was hoping I would, but I guess that won't be the case. If you think it should be Post-Helled, by all means, I'd rather not spark something nasty over something as silly as this.

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I have no problem with role-playing, it's just that this got boring and was hard-to-follow, for me anyway. total free-association, but not in a good way.

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*shrugs* I guess this is one of those situations where "you had to be there" to get it comes into play. Or maybe if I had bothered to attempt to clean it up, or even translate it into some type of story, that might have been better. Oh well. I learned my lesson.

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