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Naked Snake

WWJD (What Would Jesus Drive?)


39 members have voted

  1. 1. WWJD???

    • Ford!!!
    • Chevy
    • Dodge
    • Toyota
    • Other

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It seems that our original ancestors tooled around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says that God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.

Psalm 83 indicates that the Almighty owned at least two cars -- a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

Perhaps Moses favored Dodge pickup trucks, because his followers are instructed not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

No doubt Moses used his truck for work, but when he went cruising, he did so in a flashy sportscar, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Moses' protégé, Joshua, also drove a Triumph -- but Joshua's Triumph had a hole in its muffler because the Bible says, "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."

Following the Master's lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda, for the Bible says, "The Apostles were in one Accord."


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Bloodshedder said:

This is old. And for that, you get Oldsmobile.

There is a special feeling in Oldsmobile...

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Jesus drives his left sandal (the right one fell and got adored by zealots).

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I don't know what Jesus drives, but I hear he builds a mean hot-rod..

I'm sure Satan drives a Chevy.. a 68 Camaro maybe.

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Rotting Corpse said:

If the guy can walk on water why the hell would he need a car?

1. driving is faster than walking
2. he can't fly
3. what does having the ability to walk on water have to do with whether or not one would drive a vehicle around? however, if he decided to stay on the water and never leave I could understand him not needing a car.

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I think he would drive an old Messerschmidt Motorcycle. Reliable and not even slightly luxurious or comfortable.

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A Yugo, since he advocates humility. And he'd perform the miracle of actually making it able to drive. And drive well, at that.

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Scuba Steve said:

Scuba,I am puzzled as to why your mid 80's Ford land barge is right hand drive.And since you live in the US and going by the liscence plate it appears the picture has been mirroed.


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