Naked Snake Posted October 21, 2005 It seems that our original ancestors tooled around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says that God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury. Psalm 83 indicates that the Almighty owned at least two cars -- a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps Moses favored Dodge pickup trucks, because his followers are instructed not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." No doubt Moses used his truck for work, but when he went cruising, he did so in a flashy sportscar, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Moses' protégé, Joshua, also drove a Triumph -- but Joshua's Triumph had a hole in its muffler because the Bible says, "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Following the Master's lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda, for the Bible says, "The Apostles were in one Accord." So, WWJD? 0 Share this post Link to post
Bloodshedder Posted October 21, 2005 This is old. And for that, you get Oldsmobile. 0 Share this post Link to post
Csonicgo Posted October 21, 2005 Bloodshedder said:This is old. And for that, you get Oldsmobile. There is a special feeling in Oldsmobile... 0 Share this post Link to post
wildweasel Posted October 21, 2005 He does indeed drive an Accord, but it's disguised as a Dodge Viper. 0 Share this post Link to post
DarkFoxSoldier20 Posted October 21, 2005 myk said:Your mom. You like saying that do you? 0 Share this post Link to post
Csonicgo Posted October 21, 2005 two dollars it has " honk if you love me" on the back of it. 0 Share this post Link to post
ducon Posted October 21, 2005 Jesus drives his left sandal (the right one fell and got adored by zealots). 0 Share this post Link to post
Ed Posted October 21, 2005 I don't know what Jesus drives, but I hear he builds a mean hot-rod.. I'm sure Satan drives a Chevy.. a 68 Camaro maybe. 0 Share this post Link to post
Sharessa Posted October 21, 2005 It has to be a Chevy. Why else would I also be driving one? 0 Share this post Link to post
Rotting Corpse Posted October 22, 2005 If the guy can walk on water why the hell would he need a car? 0 Share this post Link to post
Quast Posted October 22, 2005 Rotting Corpse said:If the guy can walk on water why the hell would he need a car? 1. driving is faster than walking 2. he can't fly 3. what does having the ability to walk on water have to do with whether or not one would drive a vehicle around? however, if he decided to stay on the water and never leave I could understand him not needing a car. 0 Share this post Link to post
Caco-Puff Posted October 22, 2005 Favourite post in awhile. I'd have to say Mazda AZ-1 http://www.kcc.zaq.ne.jp/super1600models/gallary/big.az-1.jpg 0 Share this post Link to post
exp(x) Posted October 22, 2005 That looks like a toy car to me. I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't drive a toy around. 0 Share this post Link to post
Scuba Steve Posted October 22, 2005 http://www.doomworld.com/gbd2/images/wagon.gif 0 Share this post Link to post
Bastet Furry Posted October 22, 2005 I think he would drive an old Messerschmidt Motorcycle. Reliable and not even slightly luxurious or comfortable. 0 Share this post Link to post
VileSlay Posted October 23, 2005 I would like for him to drive a '57 chevy belair, because thats my favorite car, but it would most likely be an AMC pacer. 0 Share this post Link to post
KwadDamyj Posted October 23, 2005 A Yugo, since he advocates humility. And he'd perform the miracle of actually making it able to drive. And drive well, at that. 0 Share this post Link to post
exp(x) Posted October 23, 2005 You guys are all wrong, Jesus would drive my car because I have IDDQD license plates. 0 Share this post Link to post
baronofhell Posted October 23, 2005 Jesus would drive the biggest bus imaginable, so he could take all of us straight to hell!!! 0 Share this post Link to post
Caco-Puff Posted October 23, 2005 Scuba Steve said: Scuba,I am puzzled as to why your mid 80's Ford land barge is right hand drive.And since you live in the US and going by the liscence plate it appears the picture has been mirroed. EXPLAIN! 0 Share this post Link to post
Scuba Steve Posted October 23, 2005 You just answered your own question. 0 Share this post Link to post