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Lizardcommando

Would you want to become a dictator?

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If you had the chance to become a dictator, would you do it and what would you do as a dictator? (Come on, you know you'd want to have total control over a whole country or even the entire world!)

As for me... in all honesty, hell yes!

Oh man, I don't know where to begin. There's so much I can say... Let's see...

First of all, I'd brainwash the entire world and then take all the money in the world. Then, I'd build up a massive army and become unstoppable! Of course, the massive army will have giant robots, impressive war machines, and of course the Human unit (which handles the civil defense/homeland security forces/army that stand guard inside the city at all times). Oh and along with a giant army of robots and war machines, I'd have a giant space station with a sattelite cannon that can fire a giant laser beam with pinpoint accuracy. If no one complies with my orders, BLAM! My giant sattelite cannon turns the opposing city into a smoldering crater! I'd have to have bodyguards around me all the time though since there'd probably be spies or something who'd want me dead.

On top of that stuff, I'd have a giant fortress that's impregnible. Top of the line security systems, auto-guns, laser traps, oh shit, I don't know where to end with this... My giant fortress would of course be the base of operations for everything. Then again, if that base would get destroyed, I'd have another one in some secret location.

Oh man, if I was a dictator right now, I'd have the entire current middle east conflict handled with a blitzkrieg 1000x larger and deadlier than the Nazis' blitzkrieg into Poland. In fact, I'd have my regime's top scientists build a time machine and go back to before 9/11 happened and have all those terrorists rounded up and have them boiled alive in water heated up by the Earth's thermal vents, and then I'd have them sliced up by robots weilding giant sawblades. After that, I'd have the remains disintigrated by launching the remains on a nuke into the farthest and most remote star in the galaxy. After that, I'd have the world's top scientists to build Reploids like X and Zero to become my personal bodyguards and have the other bodyguards I had earlier become a part of some secret police to hunt down other terrorists.

...or...

I can build up a utopian society where everyone's happy and stuff.

That could work, right? Was I just describing what I'd do if I were some kind of crazy super-villain? I can go on forever with this...

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I'd most definitely take it up, interbreed the population until we're all the same grey colour, add in gills, and then take over the ocean and live there instead.

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Second Action: Extreme Polka. Once the resolve of the people has been worn down, we can deliver the Third Action: Bratwurst and Beer.

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Well, dictatorship (as it's popularly known) seems rather unhealthy; a good deal of dictatorial figures end up exiled, imprisoned, dead by violence or poisoning, or otherwise suffer from blood pressure, heart failure, or some sort of tormenting psychotic malady. Too much stress, heh.

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Psyonisis said:

I would outlaw the use of the letter e.

I'm ok with that as long as you don't outlaw the use of the number e.

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I'd outlaw stupid people. Then I'd declare war on the Vatican state. Then I'd make scientists develop some invincibilty stuff that would only work on me. Then I'd declare Svalbard totally Norwegian territory and build a nuclear silo so that I could control every other country.

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I'd make it so that bendy-buses have to make a sound like an acordian when they go round a corner.

My friend, who was in Iraq when the various statues etc of Sadam were being pulled down, said "If you ever become a dictator, do not have statues and pictures of yourself put on every street corner. It just makes you look a right arse when you are deposed."

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I'd command at least four adjectives used in a paragraph be my name. And touching people in crowded places will no longer be a crime.

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I'd also have a title, like in Civ 2...(Janderson the Ruthless... or as the game spelt it; Worthless)

Sigh* years later and it still hurts.

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ducon said:

First I’ll create a ministry of silly walks.

Yes. : D

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First I'd consolidate the military; build it up and bring it out of the beaver age. Simultaneously, I'd dump all of my "money" into healthcare

Then I'd nix the police force and replace all of the previous officers with military-trained ones.

Then I'd nationalise all foreign investment within my nation and declare isolation and close my borders. This will no longer pit my nation's money against an economic "standard"; if I so chose, I could print money off ad-infinitum and this would not cause inflation.

All the while allowing the economy to work as normal, thus hardly changing a bloody thing in the lives of everyday people.

Now, assuming this nation was Canada (the one i live in) or something similar to it - in a world similar to our own, if this strategy were allowed to proceed unimpeded, it would beggar the world - except Russia if they got off their asses and started mining Siberia again. Heh heh heh.

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Psyonisis said:

I would outlaw the use of the letter e.

OK, but that won't bring about as much confusion as you'd think. Utilizing a small amount of out-of-box thought, mixing it with unorthodox vocabulary and grammar, all it'd do is allow your basic layman to warrant a bit of political wordsmithing. All in all, its practical and wholly validating utility would nullify any difficulty resulting in banning that particular... hmm.

But I'll just say I know you only did that to point out absurdity in this discussion. Ass.

So anyway, my first duty as dictator would be *BLAM*

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Bucket said:

OK, but that won't bring about as much confusion as you'd think. Utilizing a small amount of out-of-box thought, mixing it with unorthodox vocabulary and grammar, all it'd do is allow your basic layman to warrant a bit of political wordsmithing. All in all, its practical and wholly validating utility would nullify any difficulty re


*BLAM*

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On one side, I'd like to. I'd like to be a dictator to just develop evil creations like something like the Lordi vocalist in their videoclips, or just make the world a twisted world of psychotic killers that include the children. Something like Zarok from Medievil, but in a cientific way. I'll tell all the lies I want to to make the people of my country trust that the world is safe once again, but to attract them to a virus, a deadly virus that will turn them into my personal army.

Sonds ironic, huh?

On the other side, I wouldn't like to be that.

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If I were a dictator, I would try to rebuild the Soviet Union. It's upsetting to see such a large multi-national, centralized economy just sustain such a downfall. And communism is better than capitalism, which is a system of economy based upon greed, mistrust, and social inequality.

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Fredrik said:

Including YOUR MOM.

your momma's so fat whenever she uses the letter e she gets cavity searched by the government.

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If I was Dictator...I would actually be banning all & almost every form of Science & Technology and lead a massive genocide against all scientists & burning all science books & Technology blue prints (by using Magical Spells & Sorcery to achieve all this) and thus render the world back to the Dark Ages where I can resign my rule and the world can go back to King/Queen/Czar/Emperor ruling and have tribes here & there...and reintroducing magik/magic/sorcery/ect back to the world.

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If I became a dictator, the first thing I'd do is arrest all the fanboys so I wouldn't have to deal with them again (they're so damn annoying). After that, I'd force the oil companies to develop earth-friendly fuels. I think I'd also make everything free, but I'll design a brain chip that makes sure people only take a small amount so things don't run out quickly.

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Nautilus said:

And communism is better than capitalism, which is a system of economy based upon greed, mistrust, and social inequality.

And communism is based on eliminating choice and desire. So no one aspires to better themselves or their standard of living...that is they can't anyway since everyone is equal. Thus they don't "buy shit they don't need" and when no one buys much of anything there isn't much of an economy either. The vast majority of jobs left are harvesting grain for the government and/or manufacturing tanks and ak-47s for the government.
Sounds fucking swell.

Keeping on track with the thread. If I was king of the world I would eliminate all cities with populations over 50k. I would force people to stop buidling these goddamn concrete jungles and attempt to reconcile the fact that we are animals and we need to try to live more in tune with nature. This would require quite a lot of people to become dead though, so be it. No fossil fuel or nuclear generated power either. Wind, hydro, solar and other replenishable fuels would be it. People would also be allowed to buy, sell and barter almost anything they want (execept nuclear weaponry) for whatever price they agree on. Individual people or industry found to be dumping shit in rivers/polluting beyond regulations would get one warning. There is no second warning, only death and forfeiture of property/buisness.

edit: I'm going to keep adding to this as I continue to drink

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