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GoatLord

7-year-old writes Doom fan fic!

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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1573325/1/

Now, this is not me becoming obsessive so much as making several amusing observations about this alleged 7-year-old:

1) He's allowed to play Doom.
2) His mom didn't mind helping him write a story in which various demons' heads explode, among other things.
3) He's familiar with fanfiction.net.
4) He refers to the Doom Guy as "Flynn Taggert," taken from the novels, which came out before he was born and are far too advanced for the average 7-year-old to read (despite it being simply written).
5) He refers to the Nightmare Imp, which appeared only in Doom 64, a game that, again, came out before he was born.

Based on this evidence, the kid obviously isn't seven. So the real question is...why the hell would someone PRETEND to be a prepubescent child?! My guess is, he's trying to mask his complete lack of writing skills be convincing everyone he's a kid receiving help from his mother. Hilarious!

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Only uptight conservative Christians wouldn't allow their kid to play Doom. Anyway, no one can verify whether that was really written by a 7 year old.

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pfft :) so what?

i wrote some crappy story based on doom when i was in grade 3-4 lol

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More fake than the safety we're supposedly afforded from the Homeland Security department.

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Mario came out before I was born, yet I know about the bad guys in that game.

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These are all good points, but when I was 7 I wasn't familiar with games that came out in the early to mid 80's. A 7-year-old is more liklely to be familiar with shooter/action games like Halo, Metal Gear Solid, Quake 4, Doom 3, etc. than the original Doom. Plus, to get old school Doom to run properly on modern computers, I think it would take someone a little older than 7 to figure it out, considering it's more complex than clicking "install" like on modern games. And for a 7 year old to be familiar with Doom 64, he'd not only have to own an N64 (which no modern tehcnology obssessed 7-year-old would own), and probably have to get the game off e-bay, and one must wonder how he'd think to look there to get it.

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Look, these are all possibilties, but do you seriously think a 7 year old could have made all those references, and be that into Doom, written a story that cohesive (relatively), even with his mother's help? Even an open minded mother would probably think it was a little odd that her son wanted to write a story about blowing up demons from a 12 year old computer game. This "kid" isn't fooling anybody. Maybe he meant to say, "I'm only 27 years old."

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mallis said:

or he could be a a wacky member of the doom community with a mental age of seven.


Like, Hyena... or Mallis.

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Xtife said:

pfft :) so what?

i wrote some crappy story based on doom when i was in grade 3-4 lol


Same. 3 I think actually. But I thought mine was pretty good at the time. Damn I wish I still had it :(

And what the hell...it doesn't take a rocket scientist to get old games and play them. An older brother...
Hell I could just as easily have a 7 year old brother using MY N64...
Doeasn't mean he'd be a paedophile :P

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Yeah, after reading this, I'm not finding what's so particularly special about it... I mean, I was playing Doom at the age of 7 and my parents didn't care. I also wrote crappy stories about Doom as well (I think most of us did at one point :)

Also, arguing that you shouldn't know what something is, just because "it came out before you were born" is absolutely fucking retarded. Just because I wasn't alive in 1977 doesn't mean I don't know anything about the Atari...

And why would this person be a pedophile? Writing about Doom on a site that's active with a wide age range of authors? If he was, wouldn't he be spending his time posting on a children's site or messaging kids on AIM or MSN, or going to the local park and stalking children?

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