The 10 most manliest video games

[Submerge]

I only agree with three of those choices on that list.

Contra: This is a peculiar series, having both shitty and great titles. But I think putting up the original contra is the best idea, because it was the start of it all, good or bad.

Ikaruga: That one was a more that fitting choice. Not because it was pretty, or had a fancy ass japanese name, but because the difficulty of it is somewhere between Testicle Crushing and Eating Glass

Metal slug: The game that makes war fun. yay!

Now, I'll fill those 7 holes in with more fitting games:

Gradius (any)
Splatterhouse 3
Resident Evil 4
God of War (Hell yes)
River City Ransom
Metal Gear Solid (Any of em, but 3 in particular)
Aero Fighters (any)

[DeumReaper]

Arthur's Hall said:
Essentially the same character as Ryu, Ken wears a red gi and sports the same move set. But Ken is from America, and thus more manly.

LOL

A mediocre list, mostly because Duke Nukem 3D wasn't #1 (not even on there; wtf);
hell, Doom could've been on there for a lack of sensitivity

[Scuba Steve]

Oh crap, Splatterhouse!

[Black Void]

You want a manly game? How about 'Smash TV' and 'Total Carnage' - though mainly Smash TV... c'mon - one of the things the announcer says as you're mercilessly slaughtering hundreds of humanoids is, "BIG MONEY! BIG PRIZES! BEAUTIFUL WOMEN! I LOVE IT!" That truely speaks for itself...

And yes, splatterhouse deserves to be on that list too.

[Submerge]

You're darn right. Anyone can kill zombies and monsters, but any game that lets you do it with your face is a winner.

[insertwackynamehere]

they obviously forgot this

[Technician]

insertwackynamehere said:

they obviously forgot this

Listen to the music cloesly towards the end.

[pilottobombadier]

I find it very funny they gave Zangief from Street Fighter 2 an 11 in manliness; in terms of canon, Zangief is gay. Stereotypically, this is not very manly. Thus I guffaw at their argument(s)

Also, DOA 3, 4, and Ultimate need to be on this list just for the sheer titty jiggliness of it all.

And I mean, where the fuck is Soldier of Fortune? Or Doom? I mean, you get to cut demons up with a fucking chainsaw! I mean, c'mon, fucking powertools!

Also, that midi on Maddox site is badass. Gotta love Cowboys from Hell.

Also, what else is missing:

Ninja Gaiden (NES)
Mechwarrior
Gran Turismo
Far Cry Instincts
Carmageddon
Turok: Dinosaur Hunter
Postal

Anyway, yeah, that list sucks. Counter-Stick shouldn't be on any list except those that define pure asstasticness. Ikaruga I've never played because I own a manly XBox as opposed to the GirlCube :P Custer's Revenge shouldn't be on that list because rape isn't as manly as waging war, Mike Tyson's punchout had too many pooftas in it, and Double Dragon wasn't as manly as Double Dragon 2 because it didn't have any medieval weapons (e.g. DD2's mace)...and whips are for girlies.

[Darkfyre]

#1 is the Maddox game that never existed :p Just because if it was made, it would be the manliest game ever

The others though, I'd hafta say:

Postal 2
Duke Nukem 3D
Splatterhouse
Sentimental Shooting (Actually pretty fuckin' hard)
Super Contra
Fallout 2 (What's more manly than running around murdering wee children with a sledgehammer to the nuts??)
Shadow Warrior
Mechwarrior 2
Mortal Kombat (I know, cheesy, but back when it 1st came out...)
House of the Dead

[kristus]

My manly list:

Doom (b-splatter movie inspired, hardly any girl likes this)
Dan Dolme (aka Dan Dick, you're a naked guy walkin around humping any chick you find, w/o raping them)
Carmageddon (b-splattermovie inspired games never get old)
Duke Nukem 3d
Any monstertruck game you can find (RAGEMAR)
God of War (as previously stated, Hell yes)
World Wrestling for NES (Doing pushups with a fatty on your back, doesn't get much manlier than this)
Blade the game, (I've never played it, but it must be very manly indeed)
Syndicate (Cyborgs, toxicity, world domination, dictatroship, you as the ruler. Manly manly manly)
Lotus Espirit Turbo Challenge (since when is it not incredibly manly to race red sports cars?)

[alexz721]

Serious Sam.

[Technician]

Oh yah Postal. Nothings more manly then the postal dude choppin limbs and making cheesy one liners.If any one guess I love the Postal series.

[Udderdude]

That list was made by someone with no penis. Seriously.

[Technician]

He obviously has a penis. It’s just being squeezed by his feminine understandings.

Let go of that thing already, it needs air.

[deathbringer]

since when is it not incredibly manly to race red sports cars?

Oh bwad, want a ride in my new wed thports car? - A poof

Then again Lotus's are Manly, whereas Smart Roadsters and MX-5's are not (but i still like those two anyway). Of course any sports car made before 1980 is automatically manly even if it used to be used by policewomen (like the MGB was)

What about the Lego games? build big trucks with an infinite supply of big solid square blocks!

[ducon]

And Serious Sam of course.

[kristus]

deathbringer said:

Oh bwad, want a ride in my new wed thports car? - A poof

The first thing a testosterone pumped horndog of a man get when he starts loosing hair is.. a red sportscar that he can pick up chicks in. And driving fast and wrecklessly bumping against stuff is very manly indeed. Maybe I should change it to "Destruction derby" or something of that effect. Point proven, case closed.

[spank]

Total bullshit.

[Darkfyre]

kristus said:

Dan Dolme (aka Dan Dick, you're a naked guy walkin around humping any chick you find, w/o raping them)

Yes!

[188DarkRevived]

I'd say that the Mortal Kombat series was a lot more manly and gruesome compared to Street Fighter...even though it was released later, it was still more manly and sent the chills down my spine with all those merciless fatality moves.

And quite possibly the authors of that list must've been drunk or had suffered some kind of head injury, causing them to completely forget about Duke Nukem, Lo Wang, and B.J. Blazkowicz.

[leileilol]

Actually i'd have to say the most manilest fighting game ever is Vampire Savior Violence Fight

[GGG]

Manliness in video games is an oxy-moron.

Video games aren't manly.

Manliness is defined by direct power imposed by your rugged, manly, (straight) body. Controlling some virtual character with a stick and keys and buttons... that's more nerdie than manly. A real manly man never plays video games. Sure, he'll watch TV (mainly sports and other nonintellectual programming) but for pure lazy entertainment value. Real manly man do things actively. Video games aren't active enough. Thumbs aren't man muscles. Unless they're popping open beer cans or using a real life tool. A game controller doesn't affect the real world. It affects a dream world. Manly men don't live in a dream world. Except their own.

[ducon]

Gah, I forgot B.J. Blazkowicz and Riddick.

[Kennychan]

My Manly games are:

Doom 1,2,3

Duke Numkem 3D

Serious Sam 1,2

Half Life 1,2

Counter Strike

Contra

Harry Potter 1,2,3,4

Lord of the Rings 3 (Aragorn)

Little Fighter 2 (Davis and Dennis)

James Bond

[ducon]

Kennychan said:

My Manly games are:
Half Life 1,2
Harry Potter 1,2,3,4

Huh?

[Kennychan]

ducon said:

Huh?

Harry Potter is a man now. He must take much advanture in the school.

Also Gordon Freeman is a man. He must fight against with Alien and Marines to save the scientists.

[Shadow Dweller]

For me, any game in which you can unleash mass-destruction will work

[leileilol]

Kennychan said:

Harry Potter is a man now. He must take much advanture in the school.

Also Gordon Freeman is a man. He must fight against with Alien and Marines to save the scientists.

By manliest we mean
, NOT

[alexz721]

Old Brawny man was a thousand times manlier than new Brawny man.

[Stygian]

There's a NEW Brawny guy? Shit, I need to go shopping.