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A new DOOM Drama: DoomGuy meets Warlords

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So...you wonder what the title means and what this "new Doom Drama" is all about, eh?

But, fear not, for you will find out soon enough. :-)

Well...the Warlords in question are about a RTS (Real Time Strategy) game series called Warlords Battlecry.

Again...what does this have to do with Doom? And with the Doom Drama?

Edit 9/8/2007:

There used to be a link to an external forum with all the goodies, but that forum is down by now, and so are the goodies. So, I set up a new site with them goodies, as well as my other scripts/dramas made in cooperation with Jodwin and Xackery.


Just download, listen and enjoy, listen and enjoy. The sound is still huge :-p

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The story is, trying not to spoil it too much:

A disgruntled modder of that strategy game (Warlords Battlecry 3 or "Wee Bee Cee" in the clip), receives a call from someone that acts and talks like the Doomguy from the Doom Comic...only more badass and insane :-)

Since the modder had received phone calls in the past from freaks that acted and talked like e.g. Barbarians or Dwarves from the aforementioned game, he tries ignoring this guy. Boy, had he ever been wrong... ;-)

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Well, since the Doom Comic can be read while listening to the audio clip, I've decided to post the script of WBC-DOOM here, so everyone can understand what the actors are saying :-p

(yeah, basically I'm begging for some feedback :-p )

Warlords Battlecry Modding: The Daemon Lovers.
M: Maes D: Doom Marine J: Jodwin

M: Oh sigh...the public input hasn't been very helpful lately, regarding WBC modding...
They expect us to think of everything and when they don't, their suggestions are quite

(phone rings)

M: Hell no, I'm not picking it up THIS time!!!

(phone rings)

M: Heh you can ring as much as you want you damn thing, I'm not picking you up!
Heh who what else awaits me...surely some horny minotaur's bedroom stories...
or some Snoop Dogg song about pimpily dwarves...

(phone rings)

M: ...or mysterious game programmers who are about to make us their bitches and force us to
suck it down... Oh dammit,I'll just tell this guy to fuck off!

(picks up phone)

M: Look pal, I've had enough of this so f...


M: ...W-What???!

D: I'm cooking with gas!

M: Excuse me? WTF?!

D: ...you weren't very quick picking this phone up, but now I gotcha baby, yeah, dig it!

M: You got what?

D: I got a handful of vertebrae and a headful of mad!!!
Yeah, I'm the Doom Marine baby, dig it !!!

M: Ohhh....the Doom Marine...you mean from..like...Doom?

D: Oh yeah boyz, coz I've got something to say!
Allow me to communicate you my desire to have your guns and to kick demonic butt!!!

M: A-hah....listen pal, I love Doom, it's a kewl game,
it's The Kewl game, BUT, you must be mistaken, I am not...

D: Shut up and listen to me, or I'll chainsaw your sorry ass..!!!
..ahh, Chainsaw, the great communicator..!

M: Heh you're not scaring me at all, so Shaddap yerself and get off...

D: WTF you say, You Say!? Now I'm so gonna rip and tear your guts, rip and tear, RIP AND TEAR, SO HEAR!!!!

M: Oh WTF..yes sir! Orders, SIR!

D: That's my boy...now, back to business! You're modding WBC 3, aint'cha?

M: You bet your friggin Doom marine ass, Sir.

D: Positive, and it has got Daemons, damn right it has!!?!

M: Uhm well yeah it does but they are not like the ones you...

D: Oh yes they are, all hellspawn are the same to me, and I hear you've
been lovin' 'em !!!

M: "Lovin' 'em"?? What the heck are you talking about, we aren't loving any Daemons...

D: OH YOU ARE NOT!!?! Then tell me son, why have there been so many flying
blue whuzzathingies around ever since that unofficial shit of yours!!?!

M: ...wha..????

D: Now BEWARE, coz I'm a BAD MAN boy! How BAD ?! REAL BAD !!!
I'm 12.0 in a 10.0 scale of BADNESS, and I'm going to not
let the Daemon Luvars go !!!

M: Uhh, err, right, so you'r pissed off because we made imps
half as cheap as they were so that they are actually useful.?

D: THE HELL RIGHT I AM, because if no one will step up and take care
of the environment, what kind of a world are we leaving to children,
and to our children's children!!?! Ah the humanity...

M: Yeah, the humanity...oh for Chris...ssake, WBC is based on a fantasy world! It's not like
our changes on the game change the real world at all...

D: YOU just don't see it...BECAUSE IT'S DARK !!! And MIGHT MAKES LIGHT..!!!
And yo..

M: ..u got no MIGHT, right? Now look, you aren't making any sense
(which isn't really nothing new here), so could you just please get off the...

D: The Hell I COULD! But I WON'T. Because I got more to say!

M: Oh? So what then, I guess you want to have some guns, don't you!?
What about we add shotguns to WBC that let you make LIGHT!? Shotguns
you can respect!

D: The Hell with respect, for I'm packing with 80 pounds of HEAVENLY JOY!!
The CHAINGUN, baby, yeah! Hear 'n lo 'er heavenly cry!!!

M: Umm, okey, but isn't the super shotgun more powerful than the chaingun..??

D: Oh yeah it IS, IN DOOM!! That's because the DAEMON LOVERS at ID [eye-dee]
made it stronger than chaingun, BUT IT'S WRONG, and YOU are going to FIX IT !!!

M: Well, I like the SSG the way it is, the hell I'm going...


M: ..WHA!?

D: YEAH BABY!! You need an attack that shoots bouncing invisible rays of death in
a 90 degree angle YEAH!

M: ......


M: ...wwwhhat..? B-F-G? You mean, like, the BioForce Gun?

Lord Almighty wants you punished..!!

(bluntly ripped off sound of BFG loading during speech, and firing off in the end)

(a doom-ripped shish kebab sound of M being mincemeated)


(quiet footsteps from Maes' side of phone)

J: ...awesome... (<- quiet, hasn't picked up M's phone)

(footsteps, the R/L channel is at 66/33 here)

(door, R/L at 50/50 all the from now on)
(this conversation has to sound little distant, as they aren't "on phone")
J: DoomGuy..! Hey, DOOMGUY!!

D: (little surprised) Oh, what, are we set yet?

J: ...you just killed Maes, didn't you??

D: Uhh, erm...

J: ...fuck, not again.....

D: So, umm, can I have my Daisy back now..?

J: Your what, now?

D: Daisy! My pet rabbit you stole!

J: You really think we are going to hand her back? You just killed one of
our voice actors!!

D: Umm, err, sorry? (<- Btw, he HAS NOT been sounding any ownage ever since
the door opened)

(J is staring at D, making him feel uneasy)

D: hey okay, I'm sorry for killing him, errrm, kinda..

D: ..I just want my Daisy back..! GIVE ME MY DAISY BAAAACK!!!

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I always thought the Chaingun's sound was more of a rat-tat-tat-tat...
Budda sounds more like it'd be pronounced buddha.

I personally thought it'd be a little more funny if the guy posing as Doom guy didn't have that british(?) accent.

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The chaingun sound is written as "budda-budda-budda..." in the DooM Comic, which apparently was a source of a lot of ideas.

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Craigs said:
I personally thought it'd be a little more funny if the guy posing as Doom guy didn't have that british(?) accent.

Blimey, my british accent is bloody perfect!

LOL "British" is the very last thing I'd associate with my accent though. The intention was to sound like a tough U.S.A. Marine or something...and instead I sound british? Bah :-p or should I say: bloody!

BTW, in case you missed it there are two versions of the WBCDoom clip , where there's another person (Xackery) posing as the Doom Guy :-) Now he can't possibly sound british ;-)

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