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Nightmare Doom

Shit Happens

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Hah hah hah- have any been missed?

Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Anarchism: No gods, no masters, no shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.
Capitalism:How can we maximise the profit from this shit.
Conservatism: All shit is the fault of immigrants.
Liberalism: It?s shit, but we can reform it - let?s have a dialogue.
Anarchism: Cops? SHIT!!!!

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Nightmare Doom said:

Hah hah hah- have any been missed?

I see calvinism, but no arminianism.

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that list is like a combo of three different t-shirts I've seen a billion times. some of em are still funny tho.

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Nightmare Doom said:

Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.

Exactly. How can this not be an empirical truth?

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Stalinism: one death is a tragedy, 1000 deaths is shit
Nazism: What a pile of shit
Surrealism: A cup full of apples
Polyamorism - I want shit to happen with as many partners as possible.
Mormons - I want shit to happen with as many wives as I can accumulate.
Dadaism: Shit is an artichoke.
Marxism: Shit will happen when the material conditions are right
Leninism: We need advanced shit to lead the rest of the shit into the revolution
Maoism: We will force shit on you whether you like it or not!
Proletariat: We create all the shit.
Solipsism: We may be shit.
Postmodernism: All shit is subjective.
Fascism: Bow down to the shit!
Westboro Baptist Church: All shit is caused by homosexuals and non-Christians! GOD HATES EVERYONE!
Capitalists: We have more shit than anyone else
Negationism- Shit never happened

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I always thought "shit happens" was an atheist motto. Also, I once almost bought this metal poster thing that had a bunch of those on it...heh.

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If shit happens in a forest with no one to hear it, does it make a sound?

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I think you left out standard Christian...


Christian - Shit ain't in the bible so it either does not exsist or is a tool of the devil!

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XDelusion said:

I think you left out standard Christian...


Christian - Shit ain't in the bible so it either does not exsist or is a tool of the devil!

God Warrrrior!

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Doomworld - If this shit isn't interesting, it goes into the burning pile of shit (Post Hell)

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I like the Nihilist one. Also...

Skeptic: Who said shit happens?

Kirby said:
Doomworld - If this shit is interesting, it goes into the burning pile of shit (Post Hell)

Moderator: if Kirby indulges in backseat modding/mod subjects, he goes into the shit-hole (Losers Forum).

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Slashdot: Shit happens..when Bill Gates is in charge Lol!

Myspace: MY PARNETS ARE SH1TTY

YTMND: Shit happens and then is repeated with tiny changes that combine other shit with the original shit in order to cram all the shit possible into one YTMND

Wikipedia: Prove that "shit happens" can be used under fair use and that someone doesn't obscurly hold the copyright on the saying

Uncyclopedia: "Shit happens." - Oscar Wilde

The Best Page In The Universe: Shit may happen but that doesn't stop me from ranting about every shit that's happened to me for the last 10 years.

Something Awful: This weeks photoshop phriday; if shit happened in your favorite movies *edited snakes on a plane poster with shit instead of snakes, and caption Shit On A Plane*

Sourceforge: SHIT HAPPENS is a new program for Linux that stands for Shit Happens Is Telling Heavy Almonds Probably Poisoning Elaborated Nickels Slowly. It is a highly advanced program that performs one basic task ONLY (still figuring out what that task will be) and won't be released for a while, as it's still in development. The title makes no sense, but that's ok because we took a random word and/or phrase and created a recursive backronym from it and therefore it's extremely clever. Maybe we'll create a packet sniffer that only sniffs packets on port 5346? Or maybe a Linux driver for some obscure piece of hardware no one ever used, even when it was released 15 years ago! CAN YOU TAKE THE SUSPENSE?? Also, we're releasing it under the GPL cause we're cool!

Facebook: Shit happens, especially when your fucked up on weed and shrooms like I am in this picture of me (ABOVE)! Please: future employers do not look at aformentioned photo!

Live Journal: Shit happens, sigh. :( Especially when your parents are total fucking nazis who think making thier teenager clean the room is NORMAL!>!! speaking of teenagers me and my friends are gonna get high and watch teenage mutant ninja turtle cartoon reruns cause its soo ironic and sooo totally retro

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insertwackynamehere said:

Wikipedia: Prove that "shit happens" can be used under fair use and that someone doesn't obscurly hold the copyright on the saying


Or,
Wikipedia: You can’t say that shit happens, it’s POV, even if shit happens.


Uncyclopedia: "Shit happens." - Oscar Wilde


Excellent!

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The FCC says shit doesn't happen unless it's in the right context. Otherwise: caca, doo-doo, poo-poo, boom-boom, dung or #2 happens.

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Snarboo said:

Baskin-Robbins - We sell 32 flavors of SHIT!


I thought it was 31 flavors...if so...it would be...

Baskin Robbins - Now introducing the 32nd flavor...SHIT!

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