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Doom: The New Weapon (Fan Fic)

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(this Fan Fic is based on the idea i posted not too long ago)

Doom: The New Weapon, Chapter 1 "Another day at Phobos"

After the horiffic events that took place 5 years ago (Doom II), Flynn Taggart (Doom Guy) is once again called to phobos for an unknown reason. Upon his arrival at the facility, he is greeted by the new commander in chief, Commmander Benjamin Blazkowitz II.

Blazkowitz: Welcome back Taggart, had a nice trip?
Taggart: Would have been better.
Blazkowitz: Come on, my men will take you to your room, just the way you left it.

They get into a Jeep and begin on thier way to the facility.

Blazkowitz: Im sorry about your wife Flynn, Arlene was a great soldier. How did she die again?
Taggart: She was blown apart by one of those go*damm monsters during that attack.
Blazkowitz: That must have been horrible.
Taggart: Beleve me ive seen worse.

They arive at the facility, they exit the Jeep and make thier way towards the main entrance. Blazkowitz opens the door with a white keycard with one swipe. As they enter, Flynn is already encounterd by various soldiers.

Soldier 1: Flynn! tell me about your adventures!!
Female soldier: Are you married?
Taggart: People please i just got here, let me go to my room.
Solder 2: Hold on tell us about your experence here!
Taggart: Please let me through for f*ck sake!
(the solders go away)
Blazkowitz: Im sorry about that Flynn i....
Taggart: Cut the chatter and just take me to my f*cking room already.

to be continued.....

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So, how the hell did B.J. get from the 1940's to the future? I think you need to work on this story a bit, there's really no depth to it. The name doesn't help much either. A new weapon. wow. What is it this time, a BFG100000000k? I think you need to write something that hasn't been written yet.

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