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doom2day

A Poem

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(Inspired by a note left on a blackboard when there was a substitute teacher)

Books away
Test today

Have no fear
Though I'm not here

If you were shrewd
You won't be screwed

But if you didn't
And I ain't kiddin'

Good Luck
Cause' I won't give a duck.

The fourth stanza was supposed to be a transition between the third and fifth.

What do you think of my poem?

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um...k....good if it was just jotted down on paper in about 2-3 minutes tops, but any more than that and its just sad...

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Why the hell
Would you sell
This piece of garbage
That sure ain't well
To read while I'm sitting
In my chair
I see what you were going for
But it just ain't there
So why don't you just stop right now
And please don't whine and have a cow
Because the point is standing
I'm not demanding
But I'd say your poem deserves some handing
To the man in charge
He's still at large
Disposing of garbage in a barge
From New York City to New Jersey
And there's more trash on this page than I can see
So I'll end this line
And I'll make it fine
Your lyrical concoction is too burnt for me to dine
So drop that trash on the garbage truck
Go chew on a hockey puck
You'll need a whole lot more than just some luck
For me to give a flying fuck

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Bank said:

Why the hell
Would you sell
This piece of garbage
That sure ain't well
To read while I'm sitting
In my chair
I see what you were going for
But it just ain't there
So why don't you just stop right now
And please don't whine and have a cow
Because the point is standing
I'm not demanding
But I'd say your poem deserves some handing
To the man in charge
He's still at large
Disposing of garbage in a barge
From New York City to New Jersey
And there's more trash on this page than I can see
So I'll end this line
And I'll make it fine
Your lyrical concoction is too burnt for me to dine
So drop that trash on the garbage truck
Go chew on a hockey puck
You'll need a whole lot more than just some luck
For me to give a flying fuck

Emo rap.

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spank said:

Emo rap.


I was actually going for oldschool hip hop.

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