The Hardcore Gamer's Psalm

[Cadman]

The Game is my passion; I shall not lose.
It maketh me frag nOObs in dark alleys;
To gib suxxors beside still waters.
It restoreth my health;
It leadeth me in the paths of MMOGs for my
ego's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of
the shadow of griefers,
I will fear no dOOd; For my boomstick art
with me;
My sword and my BFG, they comfort me.
Thou preparest an ambush before me and
offer me llamas;
Thou annointest my head with skillz;
My ammo runneth over.

Surely fear and dread shall follow
me all the days of my
Half-Life,
And I will respawn in
the bowels of
the Game
forever.

[Icarus]

Amen to that.

[Steeveeo]

heh

[Searcher]

I would find it very unlikely that it would be about the player of the same name.

Nice job Cadman. Most of us old timers can sure relate to that. ;)

[Maes]

Cool poem, but IMO it needs more genuine early-to-mid 90s gamer's slang and expressions, such as 'lamer'. Back in the olden days, the internet was still relatively untouched by 1337speak and terms like "pwn" and "n00b"...ah, these were the days. Well, there was always B1FF but none really paid attention to him...

BTW, it reminded me of another, more Doom-centered poem:

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T H E N I G H T B E F O R E *-D-*-*-O-*-*-O-*-*-M-*
Written by: Hank Leukart (ap641@cleveland.freenet.edu)
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`Twas the night before DOOM,
and all through the house,
I had set up my multi-playing networks,
each with a mouse.
The networks were strung,
with extra special care
in hopes that DOOM,
soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of demons danced through their heads.
And my computer's processor it was so quick,
boy was I glad I bought that 486.
When out on the Internet there was a Usenet posting,
I dialed right in to see what it was boasting.
Off to the news reader I flew like a hound,
"Oh no," I cried! The news reader was down!
Frustrated, bewildered, feeling really low,
I leaned back to see what I heard out the window.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a group of 6 cars, driving 60 I fear!
With a big young driver, just look at him go!
I knew in a moment, it must be John Romero!
Over the speed limit, his band of cars came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Jay! Now, John!
Now, Dave and Kevin!
On, Adrian! On, Sandy!
On, Shawn and Robert!"
To the top of the driveway!
Don't hit that wall!
Now stop your car, stop your car, stop your car all!
Leaving the car, he entered the house,
Walking quietly, so as to not wake the spouse.
He was dressed in a T-shirt, and a a pair of jeans too,
I was unsure of what he was going to do.
Boxes of DOOM he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
Those boxes - how they sparkled! The shrink-wrap so tight!
The character was drawn on the front, just ready to fight!
The Chain Saw and Shotgun he held in his hand,
Where was the BFG9000?: The best gun in the land.
And then I saw it, strapped to his back,
Along with a copy of the "Official" DOOM FAQ!
A wink of John's eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Installed it on the network, then turned with a jerk.
And placing a hand into his jeans,
out came his keys - oh how they gleamed!
He sprang to his car, to the id team gave a whistle,
and away they all drove, like DOOM's launching of a missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"DEMONS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A HELLISH NIGHT!"

[Jodwin]

Phaf, my Doom haiku beats them all:

Doom Doom
Doom
Doom Doom Doom

[BoldEnglishman]

Jodwin said:

Phaf, my Doom haiku beats them all:

Doom Doom
Doom
Doom Doom Doom

Only now do I know the true meaning of happiness

[kristus]

Allegiance is for sheep.

[deathbringer]

I remember the days when "Own" was used by hackers to mean they had got into a system so much it was if it was thier own. I dunno where this pwn crap came from

And you don't hear "r00ted" enough these days

[DJShrimpy]

deathbringer said:

I dunno where this pwn crap came from

Everquest

[GGG]

Jodwin said:

Phaf, my Doom haiku beats them all:

Doom Doom
Doom
Doom Doom Doom

A pretty liberal interpretation of a haiku if you ask me.

[Icarus]

Jodwin said:

Phaf, my Doom haiku beats them all:

Doom Doom
Doom
Doom Doom Doom

Thats no Haiku :o
[/geek]

[VileSlay]

now thats a prayer. amen and halleughia