Finally, video game reviews that tell it like it is.

http://www.navgtr.org/library.html

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night sucks because you can't jump while swinging your sword. Also, it should have had more cutscenes.

Goldeneye hardly redefines first person shooters. Oh, it has multiplayer, but who cares about multiplayer stuff.

Gran Turismo Has terrible controls and is completely unrealistic.

Honestly, why you'd waste your time on games like those duds when everyone knows
Bubsy is where it's at.

PS Doom, Doom, doomy doom (seriously bad).

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Uhhhh...where that guy get the idea that Master Levels came with it? Or am I the one who's clueless?

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doom doomit, that doom doom-view doomin doomed!that dooms me doom.

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Ok, I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions... but seriously? I mean, I understand some of the complaints, but others seem completely arbitrary, or have to do with things that were standard for the time the games came out.

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Very poor attempted copy of the Angry Video Game Nerd...

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I think there entertaining in a historical respect wether there off a little or not. im allways digging around for gaming videos on youtube, witch is what its also unfortunately good for in many ways. ill find myself watching someone play doom (and other games) more now than i sometimes actually play it/them myself. less expended physical energy if that doesnt sound even more pathetic. wasd + mouse is a bit much on some days when im sitting back.

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Ok, Castlevania sucks cause you can't attack in the air? Give me a freakin break.

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Nice find, Captain!

MikeRS said:
Very poor attempted copy of the Angry Video Game Nerd...

These reviews appear to be very old (i.e. from the 90s). If they're not, somebody made a *very* good job of faking it. Also, some of the reviews consist (almost) entirely of praise, e.g. the Super Metroid review. Look through some other reviews found at the top link -- there are hundreds of them.

EDIT: Heh, the SNES Doom review mentions the upcoming "Nintendo Ultra 64". Classic!

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Kristian Ronge said:

Nice find, Captain!


These reviews appear to be very old (i.e. from the 90s). If they're not, somebody made a *very* good job of faking it. Also, some of the reviews consist (almost) entirely of praise, e.g. the Super Metroid review. Look through some other reviews found at the top link -- there are hundreds of them.

EDIT: Heh, the SNES Doom review mentions the upcoming "Nintendo Ultra 64". Classic!



I have to announce that these reviews are actually fakes if you read this particular note at the top of their site...Even the title "Gaming in the Clinton Years" just gives it way....

NAViGaTR Presents "Gaming in the Clinton Years"
The opinions expressed are those of the original 90's reviewers and not NAVGTR Corp., which was incorporated in 2001.

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Nightmare Doom said:

I have to announce that these reviews are actually fakes if you read the note at the top of their site and even the title "Gaming in the Clinton Years" just gives it way...

http://www.navgtr.org/library.html

NAViGaTR Presents "Gaming in the Clinton Years"
The opinions expressed are those of the original 90's reviewers and not NAVGTR Corp., which was incorporated in 2001.


How dose that make it fake? It's an archive of video review from the mid 90's that are the genuine opinions of the people reviewing them at the time. It makes it old I guess.

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wtf does he mean "who cares about multiplayer" multiplayer is what makes a game replayable. The internet would be a shitpile if there was no multiplayer. I'd probably use it as often as I read a book.

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They say Super Mario 64 sucks because you can beat it in only two weeks. And it has too few cinematic sequences.

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And I liked Gran Turismo. A lot. Its not like the car physics were too hard to get used to.

And I also lol'd during the castlevania review, shortly after he was comaplaining for a straight 30 seconds about the no jump+whip combo, he says "so much for realism". Haha was Castlevania, in any way, originally planned to be realistic??

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Captain Red said:

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night sucks because you can't jump while swinging your sword. Also, it should have had more cutscenes.


Not being able to jump in the middle of a swing is unrealistic? I would like to see someone try that for real.

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Rofl at the Gran Tourismo review

I found GT to be awesome, this guy just can't drive.

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The only good thing to come from this thread was that thanks to those links, I was eventually directed to youtube videos of a rare Discworld cartoon.

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Nightmare Doom said:
I have to announce that these reviews are actually fakes if you read this particular note at the top of their site...Even the title "Gaming in the Clinton Years" just gives it way....

Captain Red already made a good point; I'll just add that the title common for all the videos was probably added when the videos were uploaded (i.e. not there in the first place). In some review videos you see the beginning of another game review at the very very end, so the reviews were originally grouped together.

Anyway, see e.g. the "Super Metroid" or "Resident Evil 2" videos for reviews that clearly aren't of a very high quality, but hardly joke reviews, either.

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caco_killer said:

Those reviews are laughably bad.


I have to agree with Caco here. This guy just seems faked.

Also, have you ever noticed how, not only does he never show emotion, but how he plays so badly? It might just be me, but it seems to be more like he just watched some footage made and gave his two cents on what he saw.

And what he said about my beloved Myst...(Grrrr!!)
*shakes fist*

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DKC2 has bad music, and is exactly the same as the first. But it also has more features, animals, etc...

And then he starts ranting about Nintendo.

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Prince of Darkness said:

Something tells me that this post will soon be seeing red, yellow, orange, and... the Picard song?!?

No.

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zap610 said:

DKC2 has bad music, and is exactly the same as the first.


Wait what

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Tango said:

Wait what


That's pretty much what the reviewer said, then he starts talking about all of its new features, then he starts ranting about how Nintendo needs to make good games.

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