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Concept Doom Comic

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So I'm thinking of doing a Doom comic, it's going to be dialog-free and shift between different levels of cartooniness. I have a few titles already in mind, but won't tell until I decided whether or not to continue the project. So here's a quick, black and white, strip. If it's hard to follow, PLEASE tell me, it'll be important in deciding if I wanna put the time into it : )

Thanks

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As I have mentioned before, I really like your drawing style for these. I think a comic like this would be very entertaining, unlike many of the Doom comics that I've seen before (except the official oneā€”that's just all kinds of awesome, even if it's a "so bad it's good" kind of awesome).

The only thing I found hard to follow was what the Zombieman was doing in the first few panels. Was he going to hide in a monster closet and then come out when the Doomguy came along? If so, why does panel four show the door completely open (apparent from the shadow) while panel five has it mostly closed? Or is the Zombieman closing the door behind him to hide, which the Doomguy sees and then opens the door to leave a rocket-surprise? Or am I completely off the mark here? Don't let my misinterpretations discourage you, as I would really like to see some more of this.

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You're just about on target. It's one of the hidden "monster closets" that always seem to have creeps popping out of them; so this is directly before Doomguy comes waltzing around, but apparently not quick enough because he hears the door closing. And as for the door closing/shadow, it takes time to walk backwards : )

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Ah, I understand now. Really, I would love to see more.

How are you drawing these? Are you using a tablet, or are they scans? Or do you do the whole thing in an image editing utility?

Edit: I really like how the Doomguy just casually strolls off in the last panel. Good work with the facial expressions, too.

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I'm drawing them by hand in Pencil, then scanning them into the computer. None of them I've been proud enough of to ink yet, the line darkening was done digitally.

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I don't know your background in making comics, so I hope I'm not patronizing you with stuff you already know.

Did you storyboard this comic before you drew it? 'Cos that's super important when you're figuring out the page layout for a comic (unless this is a storyboard). The problem I see is the action isn't really clear, and with comics that are strictly action and no dialogue that's a big problem...but I can't adequately explain why the action is unclear here without drawing my own version of your comic, and I'm not THAT arrogant.

This Yogi Bear storyboard might help, though. It keeps the action clear enough that you could write a simple sentence describing each panel in sequence:
http://www.vintageip.com/pics/terms-storyboard-big.gif
It might help your project if you do it backwards--write a simple outline of the key events and draw one panel for each. Viewing each panel as an indepentend piece might help with clarity.

Doomguy is on the move
Zombieman hears Doomguy approach
Zombieman gets idea
Zombieman hides in closet, closing door behind him
Doomguy enters area, unsuspecting
Zombieman bursts out of closet
Zombieman is suddenly aghast
Doomguy wields giant missile
Doomguy heaves missile into closet with Zombieman
Doomguy runs from explosion


Or you know all this already and I'm just being an insufferable know-it-all. Either way, if you can do some basic storyboards for what you wanna do and post 'em, your pals on the forum can give suggestions. I'd like to see you develop this a little more, even if you only do one or two and abandon it out of boredom.

I did a couple comics like yours a few years ago, but they're far from perfect.
http://applebetty.deviantart.com/art/Eskimo-Kiss-p-5-47748897
http://applebetty.deviantart.com/art/Shyguy-Story-Joyride-p-1-47279953

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It's an art concept with a very basic story, and yes I know plenty about storyboards and outlining. I'm sure you're trying to be helpful but patronizing is definitely a key word. But I'm not complaining, just mentioning it. For something that took 10 minutes to try to illustrate a style; I'm not particularly disappointed of it, but I do appreciate your comment on the flow, it definitely helps me figure out just how abstract I can make these. (Although I really didn't understand either of your comics, though the second one was pretty :D )

Eh, but if I decide to do a real first strip I would certainly hope I make it better than this one.

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Didn't hafta rub it in... :(

(And both mine are multi-page comics. The "next page" link is in the artist's comment box.)


If you do go ahead with this project, definitely post the results. I think you got the potential to make something really fun here.

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The drawing of the zombie between panels 2 and 3 is so inconsistent, I actually thought they were two different characters. Doomguy also looks completely different in panel from the other panels. It wasn't until I read the comments that I figured out what the hell was going on.

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exp(x) said:

The drawing of the zombie between panels 2 and 3 is so inconsistent, I actually thought they were two different characters. Doomguy also looks completely different in panel from the other panels. It wasn't until I read the comments that I figured out what the hell was going on.

I really like the variations in style, as it contributes to the cartoony feel of the whole thing. I do agree that it could be made more obvious that they are the same character, but only a slight change is needed in my opinion.

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Until I read the comments, I really had no idea what was going on in this comic. I'd suggest, especially in action sequences, you draw a lot of frames, so one scene blends into the next smoothly, and the reader doesn't have to interpret what's going on. But I assume you're going to take care of that if you actually do a first issue, so I don't really have anything else to add.

I'm down with some sort of Doom cartoon. This could be the next Green Pile, amirite?!

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Well here's another quick one, more to continue developing the art direction; but I thought the story might be a little easier to follow too. I could just be thinking wayyyy too abstractly though.

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LOL! I like these. the second one is pretty damn funny with the "green hair dye" thing. looking foward to more of them.

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The art is good, but, like Coopersville, I'm having a hard time understanding what is going on until you, or someone else, explains it. Maybe I'm just dense, I don't know. I know you wanted to do it without them, but perhaps you could have a few dialogue balloons/text boxes to help give the less observant, like myself, some clues.

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Bank said:

Well here's another quick one...


Me and and MmM could be equally as dense here, but I don't fully understand this one either. What I think it is, is the story of how a zombieman is 'born'; he wakes up, finds a gun, dyes his hair green. But on the second last frame, I got the impression the the pillar he took the gun from was boobytapped.

My second guess for the second last frame is just that he's spotting the dye on a second pillar somewhere else, eventhough he isn't looking at it... If so, ha ha.

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Nice work. I agree with Coopersville that adding more frames might be all that's needed to improve clarity. The newest one is pretty easy to follow, but I could see how one might not "get" the joke. In any case, I really hope to see some more.

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More conceptualizing the characters. Zombieman seems to be my favorite of all the ones I've done, so I'm probably gonna end up making him the main character, more to come.

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I think I like Doomguy the best, but your Zombieman is pretty good too, so I wouldn't mind the comics centering around him as long as we also get to see our favorite ridiculously-muscled space marine.

Keep up the good work!

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Reckoner said:

I think I like Doomguy the best, but your Zombieman is pretty good too, so I wouldn't mind the comics centering around him as long as we also get to see our favorite ridiculously-muscled space marine.

Keep up the good work!


Well I don't want the comic to focus on Doomguy, i'd rather have him be some sort of ominous force that comes around and kills everyone now and then. That's partially why I made him so inhuman looking.

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nice zombie man. I like the fact that you wanna have doomguy as just kinda a side thing occasionally blowing stuff up.

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Hmm... So far, so good. Like others mentioned, it's kind of difficult following the stories until pondered over for several seconds.

Also, and just a personal opinion, I'd rather see a cast of various Doom characters than just the zombie guy as a main character. It should let you do more with the comic and not restrict yourself to things revolving that one character. I can't wait to see your take on a cacodemon or something, both the cartoonish version and detailed version.

But do what you need to do. Still looking forward to more comics :)

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Well hello there children.

The cacodemon is on the way. Surprisingly the imp is coming out to be the hardest.

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