Coopersville Posted January 3, 2009 Youth Rock Ministry Christian Gaming Zone I just thought this review was unique in how the author seems like was cool with playing Doom until he found out John Carmack is atheist. The Tetris review is more lulz worthy, though. Part of my response on another forum: Seems like a rather petty reason to give a game a low score... I mean, at least one person behind any video game is going to be atheist. 0 Share this post Link to post
Enjay Posted January 3, 2009 What a cock. I wonder if he would burn books by non-Christian authors if he got the chance? Probably. I also love how he hasn't played most of the "unChristian" games he reviews because they are not allowed on campus. And finally, remember kids, if you play "Bully": It teaches young boys to become homosexuals. 0 Share this post Link to post
TomoAlien Posted January 3, 2009 I am christian, but i've never killed anyone, and i don't hear voices telling me to kill. Well, i just cried, but if Carmack was not an atheist, then this game would get a higher score? Also, the Columbine massacre was not caused by bad Doom influence, but by some kind of disorder(Normal person wouldn't kill anyone, and it's also easier to say that games make people bad, not other things, and less intelligent persons will believe it... *sigh*). 0 Share this post Link to post
GreyGhost Posted January 3, 2009 Catechuman is a first-person 3D game set in pre-Constantine Rome when Christians are being persecuted. It's like Doom, only it doesn't turn players into murderers. You play a Christian student (a "catechumen") who must descend into the depths of the catacombs in order to rescue your captured tutor from the evil forces of the Roman Empire, who are under the control of Satan himself. You are armed with the powerful Sword of the Spirit given to you by an Angel who helps you throughout your quest. Your sword shoots a spiritual laser that converts possessed Roman soldiers into Christians and vaporizes demons. Besides being exciting and cutting-edge, Catechumen is an excellent game to learn both history and the basics of Spiritual Warfare. †††††HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! @Coopersville - thanks, I needed that. 0 Share this post Link to post
DooMAD Posted January 3, 2009 And people say religion breeds ignorance. I don't know where anyone could get such a strange idea, heh. 0 Share this post Link to post
Texas Libra Posted January 3, 2009 Question: how can you be "taught" to be a homosexual? That's like being "taught" to be short or tall. 0 Share this post Link to post
Technician Posted January 3, 2009 Oh God. Tetris review. Wow. Texas Libra said:Question: how can you be "taught" to be a homosexual? That's like being "taught" to be short or tall. Did you learn nuttin' boy. Homosexuality is a choice. 0 Share this post Link to post
40oz Posted January 3, 2009 Link said:In the Doom series, you play a U.S. Marine who fights the forces of Satan.[/b][/i]. I don't recall ever seeing or reading or hearing the word "Satan" in any of Doom's text or soundfx. I completely overlook the storyline when playing Doom. The whole time I'm playing I'm wondering which rooms I didn't go in yet. Thoughts of joining "Satan's Army" never crossed my mind. I'm not really sure where the reviewer is going with this, but apparently sending troops to the Middle East and watching suicide missions performed by the enemy makes U.S. Troops more likely to become terrorists than someone who abstains from war. 0 Share this post Link to post
666442 Posted January 3, 2009 And this is the equality and civil rights we're so proud of. Someone announces that they're an atheist and they get slandered by some second-rate Christian game reviewer. By the way, Bible Adventures for NES sucks. Hey Christian jackboot, we gave you Wolfenstein 3D to make Super 3D Noah's Ark, so stay away from Doom or I'll start bashing Bible Builder. 0 Share this post Link to post
Maes Posted January 3, 2009 I wonder what rating he would give to Super 3D Noah's Ark... ...in any case, "Christian" themed games and "christian" reviewers alike suck major ass, in most cases. Especially trying to apply "moral" criteria to videogames is an oxymoron, as it would leave out practically all games relying on magic ("it's evil"), fantasy ("it's misleading, comes from satan") etc., so I guess that only sim games would be alright...no? 0 Share this post Link to post
Jodwin Posted January 3, 2009 ...his Atheistic ignorance of the Bible let him become a conduit for Satan to sensationalize the demonic enemies, actually making them seductive to youth! So, Carmack made us go impse? :( 0 Share this post Link to post
Maes Posted January 3, 2009 Jodwin said:So, Carmack made us go impse? :( And fisting cybie butts. 0 Share this post Link to post
Doctor Faust Posted January 3, 2009 This site is satire, isn't it? Doc Faust 0 Share this post Link to post
TomoAlien Posted January 3, 2009 Doctor Faust said:This site is satire, isn't it? Doc Faust In their Spore review they said that word satire is made up from Satan and ire. 0 Share this post Link to post
Lich Posted January 3, 2009 Just remember that the reviewer who wrote that dogshit most likely believes in splitting time in public schools to teach intelligent design, too. TomoAlien said: Also, the Columbine massacre was not caused by bad Doom influence, but by some kind of disorder(Normal person wouldn't kill anyone, and it's also easier to say that games make people bad, not other things, and less intelligent persons will believe it... *sigh*). [/B] That and shitty stupid parents. 0 Share this post Link to post
Deeforce Posted January 3, 2009 Coopersville said:Christian Gaming ZoneThis website is awesome! Indeed, I feel like a devil or more like a cacodemon :-P... It proves the theory that stupidity is endless like the universe, but it is funny, though. Lich said:[...]and shitty stupid parents.In this case I disagree and just say: drugs, bullies and disorder (losing the reference with reality thinking all humans are evil). 0 Share this post Link to post
Kyka Posted January 3, 2009 Maes said:And fisting cybie butts. Technician said: Did you learn nuttin' boy. Fisting cybie butts is a choice. Fixed. :o ...or something 0 Share this post Link to post
Gez Posted January 3, 2009 Coopersville said:Youth Rock Ministry Christian Gaming Zone Youth Rock? Don't he know that rock (and, in fact, all forms of music) is really nothing more than a Satanic ploy to corrupt the souls of the innocents? Texas Libra said:Question: how can you be "taught" to be a homosexual? That's like being "taught" to be short or tall. Ah, but you forget that a true homosexual knows all about fashion, beauty and hygiene products. Technician said:Did you learn nuttin' boy. Homosexuality is a choice. And not only is it a choice, but it is actually the superior choice, which is why any kid that learns about it risks becoming one... Heterosexuality is clearly a choice that can be chosen only out of ignorance and peer pressure; so intolerance and censorship are needed to prevent homosexuality from taking over. (I leave to the reader the leisure of drawing the obvious conclusion about the actual sexual orientation of people who are firmly convinced of this. Further, I suggest thinking about whether a deep-seated self-hatred can lead to the need to condemn everyone else for immorality.) 0 Share this post Link to post
Lich Posted January 3, 2009 Deeforce said:In this case I disagree and just say: drugs, bullies and disorder (losing the reference with reality thinking all humans are evil). I wouldn't discount the impact that a source of sound guidance can provide. It doesn't even really need to be just a parent. It just needs to be someone. 0 Share this post Link to post
MasterOFDeath Posted January 3, 2009 This is hilarious. Is this guy for real? Seriously, that awesome Tetris review is really stretching it. 0 Share this post Link to post
Kyka Posted January 3, 2009 Lich said:I wouldn't discount the impact that a source of sound guidance can provide. It doesn't even really need to be just a parent. It just needs to be someone. Well said. I guess in a perfect world, it should be the parents that are that source of sound guidance. But so often this is not the case. I have this theory that you can't teach a child how to be a functional human beingif you are still dysfunctional yourself. Growing up is unavoidable. Growing up well is another thing entirely. 0 Share this post Link to post
Maes Posted January 3, 2009 MasterOFDeath said:This is hilarious. Is this guy for real? Seriously, that awesome Tetris review is really stretching it. Hah, I guess that even he couldn't beat my fantastic Postal Dude essay, no matter how hard he tried. 0 Share this post Link to post
Nems Posted January 3, 2009 [Picardfacepalm.jpg] It's the super-right wing Fundietards like these that give Christianity a bad name and do a disservice to the level-headed, sane Christians who are good people and who don't try to slam their beliefs down people's throat...or try to make everything into a moral brouhaha like this. Remember kids: you can't spell 'Fundamental' without 'mental'! Catechuman is a first-person 3D game set in pre-Constantine Rome when Christians are being persecuted. It's like Doom, only it doesn't turn players into murderers. You play a Christian student (a "catechumen") who must descend into the depths of the catacombs in order to rescue your captured tutor from the evil forces of the Roman Empire, who are under the control of Satan himself. You are armed with the powerful Sword of the Spirit given to you by an Angel who helps you throughout your quest. Your sword shoots a spiritual laser that converts possessed Roman soldiers into Christians and vaporizes demons. Besides being exciting and cutting-edge, Catechumen is an excellent game to learn both history and the basics of Spiritual Warfare. †††††Wow. I think it's safe to say that video games based on religion are just as bad an idea as (most, if not all) video games based off of movies. 0 Share this post Link to post
Patrick Posted January 3, 2009 hey, didn't anyone see Constantine? They say that all smokers go to hell. I think since I'm already going to hell, it wouldn't hurt to play doom. EDIT: This is the single best part of that website. http://img352.imageshack.us/my.php?image=whatwouldjesusplayrr3.png 0 Share this post Link to post
myk Posted January 3, 2009 He is the one that kills a kitten each time we post here in EE. 0 Share this post Link to post
Lich Posted January 3, 2009 I'm not sure what the funniest part of this web site is. The "thoughtz 4 gamerz" section is pretty hilarious, but I'm partial to the utter cheese factor that is introduced when people arbitrarily replace the letter "s" with "z". Additionally, the pastor/rockstar calls himself Skeet. According to Wikipedia, skeet is a... Slang term for semen I wonder how this fits in with his (assumed) abstinence-only sex education policy. 0 Share this post Link to post
Gez Posted January 3, 2009 Apparently, the site is probably a silly joke, but who truly knows? 0 Share this post Link to post
Lemonzest Posted January 3, 2009 Doom made me a racist :P from shooting Imps for 12 years :( 0 Share this post Link to post
printz Posted January 3, 2009 There are at least two things I liked about those reviews: he admited that destroying demons may be a virtue of Doom, and he was against DRMs. I'm almost sure the guy is maintaining that site just for fun. I don't think one can really live in that dense state of religiousity. 0 Share this post Link to post