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40oz

Obesity is Contagious

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Texas Libra said:

What's next? A virus that causes general ugliness?

Shhhh! Don't spread it man, we dont want to be ugly like you! J/k.

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GreyGhost said:

A 'tard virus - just what I've been looking for. I'll train it to jump the ultimate species barrier - from carbon to silicon-based hosts and back - then let it loose here. :-)


Are you sure nobody's beaten you to it?

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Creaphis said:

Are you sure nobody's beaten you to it?

While that forum's membership are probably genetically predisposed towards imbecility, their affliction isn't severe enough to keep them from posting. A 'tard virus should fix that - provided they don't have a natural immunity to it - and also render their computers as dumb as toasters.

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GreyGhost said:
While that forum's membership are probably genetically predisposed towards imbecility, their affliction isn't severe enough to keep them from posting. A 'tard virus should fix that - provided they don't have a natural immunity to it - and also render their computers as dumb as toasters.

You're being optimistic there; if the hambeasts can take an airplane, the tardheads can surely post on the Internet.

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Danarchy said:

I'm going to name my next Pandemic II virus "lard ass" now.

Call it whatever you want; you still won't get Madagascar.

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Bucket said:

Call it whatever you want; you still won't get Madagascar.

For fun, I attempted to prove you wrong...

I got lucky.


Though I did miss South Africa, New Zealand, Cuba, Greenland, Indonesia, and India. Those areas are free from Lard Ass. Fucking Madagascar hardly even uses its port even before it shuts it down.


And then the symptoms of Lard Ass...


Heh...

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myk said:

You're being optimistic there; if the hambeasts can take an airplane, the tardheads can surely post on the Internet.

I'm cautiously optomisitic and working on a tandem delivery system that'll hit the intended targets with Danarchy's "Lard Ass" virus as well as the "'tard" virus. In small-scale tests the combination of extreme hunger pangs and loss of cognitive function resulted in nearly 85% of the "volunteers" idly snacking on their own body parts - with fingers being high on the menu. If that result can be replicated "in the wild" the victims will be reduced to pecking at their keyboards with their noses. :-)

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Hmm, biological weapons turning people into fat idiots. Who knew they future would be so strange?

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wow, when I saw the headline I thought this was a joke and so never clicked on it. Finally I click on the thread and see it's Foxnews (not that that's a great source to be getting your news) Article looks more like something from The Onion.

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I've learned a valuable lesson from this article. Fat people are bad. You should stay as far away from fat people as possible because they are a disease and if you touch them you might get their disease. We should quarantine all the fat people before they start a plague.

I can't help but wonder what's up with the photo in the article. Why was the photographer taking a picture of a morbidly obese person's ass?

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That photo is as old as time. Someone at Fox News got it in an email forward and has been waiting for a chance to use it ever since.

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Whenever they run a story about fat people in the news, they always show close-up stock shots of people with their guts/asses hanging out of their clothes. That must be be a terrible assignment for the photographers. "Hey, go out in the field and get a bunch of stock footage of fat asses and lard guts."

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After reading some Chomsky (political Chomsky, not linguistic Chomsky) I've become aware of how news really is inundated with unnecessary stock imagery. TV news is the worst. Any story about money will inevitably show a few seconds of cash being printed, as if we need to be reminded what money is.

Though that may be defensible as helpful "priming" by neural network models of the brain. It does help to be reminded what a fat person looks like as this lets you process the story half a second faster.

Eh, whatever.

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Danarchy said:

Whenever they run a story about fat people in the news, they always show close-up stock shots of people with their guts/asses hanging out of their clothes. That must be be a terrible assignment for the photographers. "Hey, go out in the field and get a bunch of stock footage of fat asses and lard guts."


Oh God, I know exactly the kind of shot you're describing. Usually they'll catch them on some busy street, waddling with a McDonald's or KFC in the background.

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Danarchy said:

Whenever they run a story about fat people in the news, they always show close-up stock shots of people with their guts/asses hanging out of their clothes. That must be be a terrible assignment for the photographers. "Hey, go out in the field and get a bunch of stock footage of fat asses and lard guts."


OK WE GOT ANOTHER FAT ARTICLE! JOHN, WE NEED 3 SHOTS OF SOME BOOTY-DOS. IF YOU CAN FIND A WOMEN TAKING 3 SEATS, WE MIGHT DISCUSS... A RAISE.

Fatty snap: coming to Wii

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My guess is that this story is only gonna cause the fat epidemic to worsen, we'll have fatties lining up through the doors at fast food restaurants all over the world, believing that they're only fat because of some bullshit disease.

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Danarchy said:

For fun, I attempted to prove you wrong...
Heh...

I found a 90% foolproof way to make mankind extinct. This guy's video explains it all:



Starting in Madagascar certainly wouldn't hurt.

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Bucket said:

I found a 90% foolproof way to make mankind extinct. This guy's video explains it all:

Starting in Madagascar certainly wouldn't hurt.

Yeah, that's pretty much my strategy. Get rid of all the symptoms and just wait until everywhere gets infected until I start tossing them on to raise the kill count.

And what the Hell is with Youtube videos always having wildly inappropriate music in relation to what they're showing?

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Creaphis said:

And blue screens with white text, and excessive pop-up text...

Those too. The fact that he had both the white text overlay and those newish comment things going at the same time was pretty WTF and I missed quite a bit of text because of that.

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