DNA tests reveal that Adolf Hitler's skull fragment belongs to a woman!

[Starke Von Oben]

While looking for stuff for Return to Wolfendoom I came across this article:

In Adolf Hitler biographies the story of Fuhrer's last hours is traditionally this: he committed suicide with Eva Braun by taking a cyanide pill and shooting himself on 30 April 1945. Some historians wondered if the Führer had shot himself, speculating that stories of Hitler's death had been embellished to present his suicide in a heroic light. But a fragment of skull with bullet hole - taken from the bunker by the Russians - seemed to settle the argument. Until now. DNA test by American researchers revealed that the skull fragment, held by Soviet intelligence, belonged to a woman under 40.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/27/adolf-hitler-suicide-skull-fragment

Pretty strange... The only positive physical proof that Hitler had shot himself has suddenly been rendered worthless.

[pavera]

Interesting. Maybe he just went home.

[fraggle]

If this is true, then just think - perhaps he is still alive today, kept alive through Nazi medical science!

[Graf Zahl]

Imagine his head being installed in a giant computer!

... wait a minute, wasn't that already destroyed in Astrostein III? ;)

[Starke Von Oben]

Graf Zahl said:

Imagine his head being installed in a giant computer!

... wait a minute, wasn't that already destroyed in Astrostein III? ;)

THEY SAVED HITLER'S BRAIN!

[Maes]

SIEG HEIL!

[Mr. Freeze]

Does this mean that Mecha-Hitler is actually real? Shit!

[Maes]

Mr. Freeze said:

Does this mean that Mecha-Hitler is actually real? Shit!

Die, allied Schweinhund!

[GreyGhost]

Hitler's alive, reasonably healthy and being cloned somewhere in South America - I thought everyone knew that.

DNA test by American researchers revealed that the skull fragment, held by Soviet intelligence, belonged to a woman under 40.

Eva Braun was 33.

[Dutch Doomer]

Damn, so Adolfina Hitler was actually an woman :p

[Mr. Freeze]

Maes said:

Die, allied Schweinhund!

You first, Nazi scum!

[Maes]

Mr. Freeze said:

You first, Nazi scum!

Never, du untermensch!

[Shaikoten]

The Guardian isn't exactly super reputable, is it? I've learned to take what I read from certain British newspapers with an Imperial pound of salt, because some of them approach the Fox News level here in the states, trolling wise.

[Gez]

According to Connecticut archaeologist and bone specialist Nick Bellantoni, it was clear from the outset that something was amiss. "The bone seemed very thin; male bone tends to be more robust," he said.

In other words, this head was not thick enough to have been Hitler's.

[Technician]

If they were wrong about Hitler’s death then maybe, just maybe, the holocaust never happened...

[Sharessa]

Eva, auf wiedersehen! *bang* Bitch, I told you just take the damn cyanide. Now your brains are all over my goddamn bunker walls.

Technician said:

If they were wrong about Hitler’s death then maybe, just maybe, the holocaust never happened...

[Bank]

But perhaps the real Hitler was inside each of us all along.

[fraggle]

Shaikoten said:

The Guardian isn't exactly super reputable, is it? I've learned to take what I read from certain British newspapers with an Imperial pound of salt, because some of them approach the Fox News level here in the states, trolling wise.

The Guardian is fairly respectable as British newspapers go. It's seedier publications like The Sun, The Daily Express, Daily Mail, The Mirror that you have to be skeptical of.

Wikipedia has a list of UK newspapers which seems to summarise things pretty well. The "serious journalism" newspapers are pretty decent, the others are trash.

[Snakes]

Bank said:

But perhaps the real Hitler was inside each of us all along.

This song discusses the Hitler in all of us.

[Gez]

Teh Grauniad's bad reputation is more about the spelling skills of its proofreaders than about the investigative skills of its journalists.

[Super Jamie]

GreyGhost said:

Hitler's alive, reasonably healthy and being cloned somewhere in South America - I thought everyone knew that.

I can't believe this comment went by the wayside, or maybe you don't realise yourself what you've said?

Has anyone ever looked into conspiracy theories about Father Krespi?

Essentially some people believe that Hitler was alive after WW2 and hidden away deep in South America as a priest called Father Krespi. People who have met him claim a striking resemblance to Adolf, and there are scattered accounts of Nazi treasures being shipped in and out of the jungle. Not to mentuion the lavish funeral he recieved upon dying in 1993 when the order Krespi allegedly belonged to believes in a humble death with no recognition.

The entire theory rests on the testimony of 2 or 3 people so it's obviously pretty shaky. I'm not some conspiracy nut who's going to claim this is truth, but I love a good mystery and it makes for some spirited reading.

[Eponasoft]

I'm pretty sure Technician was kidding about the holocaust thing, but there are people who actually believe that the holocaust was a farce. The difference between the holocaust and Hitler's assumed suicide is that there are thousands of pictures of the holocaust and none of the assumed suicide...there is irrefutable evidence a thousand miles high about the holocaust, so the only people who would actually believe it was a farce are people who are SO blatantly retarded and/or idiotic that there's no hope for them. Hitler's assumed suicide has always been a mystery. Regarding maniacal madmen, there are still those who wonder about the death of Saddam Hussein...is he really dead? He had several body doubles, and the official video released by the Iraqis is blacked out during the moment of execution, plus there's that cellphone video that shows him escaping through a trapdoor...

[DuckReconMajor]

There's grass on the moon, too.

[Sharessa]

Snakes said:

This song discusses the Hitler in all of us.

Avenue Q is amazing. If it's ever in town, go see it! I saw it last year.

[Technician]

Maybe...

[Craigs]

Starke Von Oben said:

Pretty strange... The only positive physical proof that Hitler had shot himself has suddenly been rendered worthless.

Timeline. You're obviously way behind current events. Scientists actually discovered that Hitler never actually committed suicide back in 1992. During the final weeks of World War II, Hitler retreated to a relatively large and heavily fortified bunker where he would be safe from any attack. However, a single soldier was able to infiltrate the bunker, gather a rather impressive stockpile of weaponry, and kill Hitler along with most of his men.

[Super Jamie]

Craigs said:

Timeline. You're obviously way behind current events. Scientists actually discovered that Hitler never actually committed suicide back in 1992. During the final weeks of World War II, Hitler retreated to a relatively large and heavily fortified bunker where he would be safe from any attack. However, a single soldier was able to infiltrate the bunker, gather a rather impressive stockpile of weaponry, and kill Hitler along with most of his men.

[citation needed]

[DuckReconMajor]

Super Jamie said:

[citation needed]

:P

[Super Jamie]

*facepalm*

[Snakes]

Danarchy said:

Avenue Q is amazing. If it's ever in town, go see it! I saw it last year.

Actually, it is... but tickets sold out in about 2 minutes, and I was in class. I am become frown.