Your best pickup lines?

[40oz]

Hey is your dad a mechanic? Then where'd you get the fine-tuned body?

Man you're so hot I get a tan just from lookin at you.

Girl you've got more curves than a race track!

Hey did ya hear? Willy Wonka's chocolate factory went bankrupt. Apparently they couldn't afford the resources to manufacture a candy as sweet as that ass!

They're pretty easy to find online but ITT post the best ones.

[Bucket]

Don't scream.

[Craigs]

Shut up and bend over.

[Bank]

I love the way you reticulate your splines.

[Nomad]

Nice shoes, let's fuck!

Hi! My name is milk! I do your body good!

WEEWOOO WEEWOOO WEEWOO! You know what that sound is? The ambulance to pick me up after you stopped my heart!

[lupinx-Kassman]

Sit on my face and I will eat out my way to your heart.

...


That was revolting I apologize.

[40oz]

lupinx-Kassman said:

Sit on my face and I will eat out my way to your heart.

...


That was revolting I apologize.

hahahahaha

If you were words on a page you'd be in what they call fine print!

I may not be a bag of groceries but I can tell when you're checking me out.

If you weren't so hot global warming would still be a myth.

[Nomad]

lupinx-Kassman said:

Sit on my face and I will eat out my way to your heart.

...


That was revolting I apologize.

Actually I expected something to do with yiffing.

[DuckReconMajor]

Am I alive in your world? Cause I know what you're doin' in mine.

[Joshy]

Wanna come to my place, have sex and eat scrambled eggs for breakfast? ... WHAT? Don't you like scrambled eggs?

[Csonicgo]

Built Ford Tough

[Revenant]

Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?

[Technician]

Six inches, take it or leave it.

[exp(x)]

I'd love to integrate myself into the area under your curves.

[Joshy]

exp(x) said:

I'd love to integrate myself into the area under your curves.

That's a must for maths geeks!

[GreyGhost]

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

[wildweasel]

Y'know, it's dangerous for you to be hanging around the frozen foods aisle...you might melt everything.

[Torn]

Shallow please.

[Creaphis]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1687#comic

[destx]

Creaphis said:

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1687#comic

This one works too:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1548#comic

[Maes]

Hey baby what's your perfume, Chanel No. 5?

[Nomad]

destx said:

This one works too:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1548#comic

You know, that begs the question, I wonder if Watchdog could double as a dating service for sex offenders?

[RTC_Marine]

I don't wear fine clothing, I wear you

(at a party, there was this fairly hot chick bugging me to get up and dance with her, after doing that and what she told me for 10 minutes, I started flirting with her, more and more, until she started giggling, eventually I said): "Okay okay.. instead of screwing around here, lets go find another place to do it" (so we both went somewhere after that)

[Planky]

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

[Johnny]

I learned this one at some random party when I was a freshman in college and am a firm believer that it is the most awesome pickup move/line ever concocted. It's probably a good idea to already have some sort of attraction built between you and whoever you're gonna use this on, but if you're drunk and feeling ballsy then it's a perfect opener. Provided you're not a creepy son of a bitch, of course. Anyway:

Lean in kind of close to her face, squint, and say "Hey, close your eyes for a sec. You've got an eyelash." Innocent enough, so she'll oblige without giving it a second thought. You then put your hand on her cheek with your thumb by her eye like you're going to brush it off, but instead swoop in and plant one on her. Right on the lips! When she opens her eyes all surprised like, smile at her for a moment and then walk away. Come back in 10 minutes or so and I guarantee you'll be greeted with an "OMG! I was just telling Stacy about your eyelash thing!"

So simple, yet so beautiful. You'd think something like this would buy you an instant slap in the face, but from my experience they're usually thrilled about how clever it was. I'm no Mr. Studly McLadykiller either, and I've done it tons of times with flawless results. I really wish I could say I invented this, but all credit goes to the mystery fellow I met that fateful night. God bless you sir--wherever you are.

[Maes]

Johnny said:

I really wish I could say I invented this, but all credit goes to the mystery fellow I met that fateful night. God bless you sir--wherever you are.

Maybe he was actually Mystery, who knows.

[fraggle]

"Your complex geometries just caused a visplane overflow ... in my pants!"

[Johnny]

Maes said:

Maybe he was actually Mystery, who knows.

Yeah that's him man, I just forgot to capitalize the M in my last post.

LOL

[Texas Libra]

I may just be a floppy disk now but you hang around me for a few minutes and I'll be a high-capacity hard drive.

[Mr. Freeze]

KILL! MAIM! BURN!