40oz Posted November 4, 2009 Hey is your dad a mechanic? Then where'd you get the fine-tuned body? Man you're so hot I get a tan just from lookin at you. Girl you've got more curves than a race track! Hey did ya hear? Willy Wonka's chocolate factory went bankrupt. Apparently they couldn't afford the resources to manufacture a candy as sweet as that ass! They're pretty easy to find online but ITT post the best ones. 0 Share this post Link to post
Bank Posted November 4, 2009 I love the way you reticulate your splines. 0 Share this post Link to post
Nomad Posted November 4, 2009 Nice shoes, let's fuck! Hi! My name is milk! I do your body good! WEEWOOO WEEWOOO WEEWOO! You know what that sound is? The ambulance to pick me up after you stopped my heart! 0 Share this post Link to post
lupinx-Kassman Posted November 4, 2009 Sit on my face and I will eat out my way to your heart. ... That was revolting I apologize. 0 Share this post Link to post
40oz Posted November 4, 2009 lupinx-Kassman said:Sit on my face and I will eat out my way to your heart. ... That was revolting I apologize. hahahahaha If you were words on a page you'd be in what they call fine print! I may not be a bag of groceries but I can tell when you're checking me out. If you weren't so hot global warming would still be a myth. 0 Share this post Link to post
Nomad Posted November 4, 2009 lupinx-Kassman said:Sit on my face and I will eat out my way to your heart. ... That was revolting I apologize. Actually I expected something to do with yiffing. 0 Share this post Link to post
DuckReconMajor Posted November 4, 2009 Am I alive in your world? Cause I know what you're doin' in mine. 0 Share this post Link to post
Joshy Posted November 4, 2009 Wanna come to my place, have sex and eat scrambled eggs for breakfast? ... WHAT? Don't you like scrambled eggs? 0 Share this post Link to post
exp(x) Posted November 4, 2009 I'd love to integrate myself into the area under your curves. 0 Share this post Link to post
Joshy Posted November 4, 2009 exp(x) said:I'd love to integrate myself into the area under your curves. That's a must for maths geeks! 0 Share this post Link to post
GreyGhost Posted November 4, 2009 If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? 0 Share this post Link to post
wildweasel Posted November 4, 2009 Y'know, it's dangerous for you to be hanging around the frozen foods aisle...you might melt everything. 0 Share this post Link to post
Creaphis Posted November 4, 2009 http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1687#comic 0 Share this post Link to post
destx Posted November 4, 2009 Creaphis said:http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1687#comic This one works too: http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1548#comic 0 Share this post Link to post
Maes Posted November 4, 2009 Hey baby what's your perfume, Chanel No. 5? 0 Share this post Link to post
Nomad Posted November 4, 2009 destx said:This one works too: http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1548#comic You know, that begs the question, I wonder if Watchdog could double as a dating service for sex offenders? 0 Share this post Link to post
RTC_Marine Posted November 4, 2009 I don't wear fine clothing, I wear you (at a party, there was this fairly hot chick bugging me to get up and dance with her, after doing that and what she told me for 10 minutes, I started flirting with her, more and more, until she started giggling, eventually I said): "Okay okay.. instead of screwing around here, lets go find another place to do it" (so we both went somewhere after that) 0 Share this post Link to post
Planky Posted November 4, 2009 Does this smell like chloroform to you? 0 Share this post Link to post
Johnny Posted November 4, 2009 I learned this one at some random party when I was a freshman in college and am a firm believer that it is the most awesome pickup move/line ever concocted. It's probably a good idea to already have some sort of attraction built between you and whoever you're gonna use this on, but if you're drunk and feeling ballsy then it's a perfect opener. Provided you're not a creepy son of a bitch, of course. Anyway: Lean in kind of close to her face, squint, and say "Hey, close your eyes for a sec. You've got an eyelash." Innocent enough, so she'll oblige without giving it a second thought. You then put your hand on her cheek with your thumb by her eye like you're going to brush it off, but instead swoop in and plant one on her. Right on the lips! When she opens her eyes all surprised like, smile at her for a moment and then walk away. Come back in 10 minutes or so and I guarantee you'll be greeted with an "OMG! I was just telling Stacy about your eyelash thing!" So simple, yet so beautiful. You'd think something like this would buy you an instant slap in the face, but from my experience they're usually thrilled about how clever it was. I'm no Mr. Studly McLadykiller either, and I've done it tons of times with flawless results. I really wish I could say I invented this, but all credit goes to the mystery fellow I met that fateful night. God bless you sir--wherever you are. 0 Share this post Link to post
Maes Posted November 4, 2009 Johnny said:I really wish I could say I invented this, but all credit goes to the mystery fellow I met that fateful night. God bless you sir--wherever you are. Maybe he was actually Mystery, who knows. 0 Share this post Link to post
fraggle Posted November 4, 2009 "Your complex geometries just caused a visplane overflow ... in my pants!" 0 Share this post Link to post
Johnny Posted November 4, 2009 Maes said:Maybe he was actually Mystery, who knows. Yeah that's him man, I just forgot to capitalize the M in my last post. LOL 0 Share this post Link to post
Texas Libra Posted November 4, 2009 I may just be a floppy disk now but you hang around me for a few minutes and I'll be a high-capacity hard drive. 0 Share this post Link to post