Your best pickup lines?

[DuckReconMajor]

Patrick said:

Ya'll should get married, you get along perfectly.

Worst pickup line ever.

[Starke Von Oben]

KingKill33 said:

I've found that the easiest and quickest way to the vagina is through heart, so I don't use pickup lines. Instead I tell her what she wants to hear, even if I don't mean it, which is 90% of the time.

This.

[DoomsdayRooster]

Nomad said:

Getting obvious sluts to sleep with you is hardly an accomplishment.

Obvious virgins are obvious.

[Maes]

Nomad said:

Getting obvious sluts to sleep with you is hardly an accomplishment.

Even that can be hard or impossible if you trigger their "nice guy" reaction, which will make then toy with you instead of acting like sluts proper. Call it "selective slutting" if you wish ;-)

[Nomad]

Starke Von Oben said:

Oh I do apologize, I had no idea you were still a virgin.

Starke Von Oben is always looking for arguments, and when he fails to muster one of any real significance resorts to flames of the most ignoble and petty nature.

[Patrick]

Maes said:

Even that can be hard or impossible if you trigger their "nice guy" reaction, which will make then toy with you instead of acting like sluts proper. Call it "selective slutting" if you wish ;-)

As far as I'm concerned you have to be a douche to get a slut. Normal(?) people like Maes get toyed with.

[Maes]

Patrick said:

Normal(?) people like Maes get toyed with.

I fall more into the "not giving a damn anymore" class, in that respect.

As for pickup lines... I believe there's no silver bullet that works in any case. If there was, it'd be already be used to death, and then some. Many times it's just enough to be in the right place at the right moment through dumb luck, and other times it's something you did or said but so subtle that you wouldn't be able to replicate if your life depended on it.

IMHO whatever happens to work does so in a purely circumstantial manner, and whoever happens to "score" can't really explain why it happened, much like someone who just won the lottery or a footbal pool.

Although PUAs may claim that asserting situations and adapting in real time and/or using "universal" silver-bullet openers is possible, this is too good to be true:

Think about it, if you had a certain way to win at the lottery or at footbal pools, would you share it with the world? Once you extend a privilege to one too many people, it ceases being a privilege, and loses any value it might have had.

[Sharessa]

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin.

Starke Von Oben said:

Like I said earlier, it's all about finding a social group or a niche that you can dominate in as an alpha male. I know that sounds utterly chauvinistic but it's true.

I dunno, my social niche is my gorup of friends I've had since high school. It's a bunch of couples aside from me, another single guy, and a single girl (who I've dated, but she's a Mormon and wants a guy who will "take her to the temple" whatever the Hell that means) who play D&D and video games together. So not much room there. Then there's my coworkers who I don't get along with very well (they want to get fucked up 24/7, for starters). I hate bars since I don't really drink and it seems every time I go to one something bad happens. I've been looking around for more social options, but everything I can think of is either something I don't like or just doesn't exist (around here at least).

[Nomad]

Heh, Mormon girls are kind of funny. You'd be surprised how open many of them are. My (mormon) girlfriend does things that my ex never would think of or refused to do.

Of course I'm sure it varies per girl anyway, regardless of being Mormon or not, but I'm betting that trend of being secretly promiscuous is higher with those LDS girls. They get so caught up in that repression that their religion forces them into, that if they get the chance to be unwrapped, there is so much pent up that they'll do anything.

[Starke Von Oben]

Nomad said:

Heh, Mormon girls are kind of funny. You'd be surprised how open many of them are. My (mormon) girlfriend does things that my ex never would think of or refused to do.

Of course I'm sure it varies per girl anyway, regardless of being Mormon or not, but I'm betting that trend of being secretly promiscuous is higher with those LDS girls. They get so caught up in that repression that their religion forces them into, that if they get the chance to be unwrapped, there is so much pent up that they'll do anything.

And you base this wild theory on the promiscuity of religious girls purely on the fact that your girlfriend, a mormon, swallows?

[Maes]

Starke Von Oben said:

And you base this wild theory on the promiscuity of religious girls purely on the fact that your girlfriend, a mormon, swallows?

I'd concede him the benefit of the doubt but I'd also downsize his claim in that religious girls are more likely to accept a date than "normal" girls, no idea why. The closest I have to an explanation is that, IMO, they don't correlate dating with (potential) sex as readily as "normal" girls do.

So on the one hand they accept dating more easily (while a "normal" girl would be more cautious on the first place), but OTAH they won't go much farther from there, either. That's why many religious girls end up being huge cockteasers of the "look but don't touch" kind.

[DuckReconMajor]

Danarchy said:

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin.

Nothing wrong with being single either

[40oz]

I'm pretty sure the success of pickup lines also has a lot to do with how attactive you are too.

*flips hair*

[Technician]

40oz said:

I'm pretty sure the success of pickup lines also has a lot to do with how attactive you are too.

*polishes cranium*

[Nomad]

Pick up lines work on the women that they're intended to work for. That's really all there is to it. If they didn't work at least some of the time, they wouldn't be so prominent nor so numerous.

Also, the nice guy routine does work a lot (not to mention is a lot of work), but will also easily get you friend zone'd if you're working with the wrong girl.

The part everyone seems to be discounting is that every girl is different. You can't lump them all into the same group saying that "no girl will fuck you if you wear a costume on Halloween," nor can you say that pick up lines work or don't work on all women. That's the point I'm trying to make whilst "flaming" Starky, is that generalizing and pretending that any one technique works over any other is naïve.

[GreyGhost]

40oz said:

I'm pretty sure the success of pickup lines also has a lot to do with how attactive you are too.

*flips hair*

*combs and waxes nasal hairs into a handlebar mousache*

[Maes]

40oz said:

I'm pretty sure the success of pickup lines also has a lot to do with how attactive you are too.

And also depend on your built-in social proof among other stuff. The hardest situation is when you have to change social contexts too often and are forced to start all over again.

Being a random Humpty Dumpty or Joe Smith in a town that you know none and trying to hit random bars with pickup lines is not exactly the ideal condition for "picking up".

[Starke Von Oben]

Nomad said:

Pick up lines work on the women that they're intended to work for. That's really all there is to it. If they didn't work at least some of the time, they wouldn't be so prominent nor so numerous.

They are only prominent and numerous because WRITERS started putting "pick up lines" or to put it more bluntly DIALOGUE into plays and films that resemble what you call "pickup lines" in order to cut past the usual chatting up process and get into the action quickly. They've since evolved into a jokey thing that people post on the internet and what "self-help" frauds peddle around in books for sexually inadequate men to buy in abundance under the false delusion that they "work".

The problem with pickup lines is that you're treating the dating game like a game of Chess. What opening shall I use? Oh I know I'll use D4... if she responds with D5 I'll proceed to the Queen's Gambit, if she accepts the sacrifice proceed to...

You see? Utter trash.

Also, the nice guy routine does work a lot (not to mention is a lot of work), but will also easily get you friend zone'd if you're working with the wrong girl.

Women do not appreciate the "nice guy" in my experience. That's not to say you have to be a total prick, but if you come across as a total wet blanket who talks endlessly about the evils of the world you'll just look a turn-off.

The part everyone seems to be discounting is that every girl is different. You can't lump them all into the same group saying that "no girl will fuck you if you wear a costume on Halloween," nor can you say that pick up lines work or don't work on all women. That's the point I'm trying to make whilst "flaming" Starky, is that generalizing and pretending that any one technique works over any other is naïve. [/B]

I've always said every girl is different, which is why pickup lines couldn't possibly work. Ordinary conversation is the only way you're ever going to be able to get into any girls knickers, for it's from conversation that you're able to learn more about her and find some common ground. My technique if you can even call it that is more a SOCIAL technique if anything, which comes down to going out a lot, hanging out with lots of women and TALKING to them.

That's not a generalized approach to all women, it's just the only method by which you're ever going to be able to get one - unless you'd rather treat women like some lottery whereby you throw one-liners here and there and eventually you'll find the right one?

[Phobus]

Am I the only one who generally gets targeted by the girls for chatting up here? So far all of my experience has been kicked off by girls who've either decided from knowing me for a while (any where from a year to 3 days, both have happened) that they like me, or alternatively from girls who see me and like something in what they see.

I certainly don't go stalking about like some sort of gender specific predator going after any and all "prey" that I see.

Likewise I can't help but read all of the stuff and rules that Starke von Oben is posting and think that it all seems a bit over-complicated, or that all of the girls in his area are atypically difficult in some way.

[Starke Von Oben]

Phobus said:

Likewise I can't help but read all of the stuff and rules that Starke von Oben is posting and think that it all seems a bit over-complicated, or that all of the girls in his area are atypically difficult in some way.

You find having ordinary conversations with the opposite over-complicated?

[Maes]

Phobus said:

Am I the only one who generally gets targeted by the girls for chatting up here?

No. It has happened to me too in the past (mostly in my early 20s) but it got progressively rarer with time, to the point that I wondered WTF happened during those years.

Considering that I didn't undergo any major personality changes, or any conscious changes in my styling (I mostly wear 80s style jeans, trucker/lumberjack shirts, or pile/cotton sweaters, and I still generally maintain a close shaved look, just as I did back then) I guess it has to do with how my looks have changed due to age and lifestyle.

Try as you might, a weathered 30 yo with a receding hairline and 15 extra kg of body weight doesn't look quite the same as an innocent and enthusiastic looking 20 yo with perfect hair at ideal body weight, all other things being equal, and can't have the same expectations.

Also, during this relative "heyday" I was a (young) and relatively carefree student, and I mostly interacted with other students of my age. That's not quite the same with being 30yo working class, with women at my age expecting something more than a weekend of screwing.

I can't expect to still attract the same kind of 20 yo girls that would once drool over me (yes, has happened for a while). Probably I should be glad to have had such a period, but I resent not having made the most out of it back when I could. I also got the false impression that it was always going to be that laid back and easy, which it turned out not to be the case.

TL;DR version: in my experience it has to do mostly with looks, youthfulness and carefree life, coupled with the ambient you're active in. Because of this, it generally doesn't last long. Enjoy it while it lasts.

[Starke Von Oben]

Maes said:

TL;DR version: in my experience it has to do mostly with looks, youthfulness and carefree life, coupled with the ambient you're active in. Because of this, it generally doesn't last long. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Or until you get one of them pregnant :P

[Maes]

Starke Von Oben said:

Or until you get one of them pregnant :P

That, too, although that kind of "premature gameover" is different in nature from losing one's spontaneous coolness over time, and other stuff like responsibilities and social pressure kick in, so you rarely have the time or need to contemplate where that happy, carefree young man ended up...

Pretty much, when the good and happy days are over, one is expected to have developed other skills, other sources of attraction, built up status etc. or just settled down with a family to compensate for it. If you haven't...well...then it pretty much goes from "too easy" to "too hard" very quickly. You usually even get a definite sign about when your heydays are over. It can be a gesture, line or phrase that used to work or be considered "cute" but now has the opposite effect, or a progressive, silent indifference.

It's comparable to how e.g. an aging athlete misses a goal, a heat and suddenly realizes he's not what he used to be.

[DuckReconMajor]

Maes said:

you rarely have the time or need to contemplate where that happy, carefree young man ended up...

mid-life crisis

[Nomad]

Starke Von Oben said:

They are only prominent and numerous because WRITERS started putting "pick up lines" or to put it more bluntly DIALOGUE into plays and films that resemble what you call "pickup lines" in order to cut past the usual chatting up process and get into the action quickly. They've since evolved into a jokey thing that people post on the internet and what "self-help" frauds peddle around in books for sexually inadequate men to buy in abundance under the false delusion that they "work".

The problem with pickup lines is that you're treating the dating game like a game of Chess. What opening shall I use? Oh I know I'll use D4... if she responds with D5 I'll proceed to the Queen's Gambit, if she accepts the sacrifice proceed to...

You see? Utter trash.

You are reading way too much into my statement. Anyone that actually uses pick-up lines seriously, is an idiot. That said, they sometimes DO work just because of how silly and lame they are. Many girls appreciate a stupid sense of humor, as many have said in this thread already. Using them with any kind of strategy is just going to get you spit in your face, either literally or metaphorically.

Starky wrote:
Women do not appreciate the "nice guy" in my experience. That's not to say you have to be a total prick, but if you come across as a total wet blanket who talks endlessly about the evils of the world you'll just look a turn-off.

Again, you're taking what I said out of context. Nice Guy doesn't not imply being an unadventurous bore. Women appreciate genuine politeness and consideration. But of course, "genuine" is the key word, and being something you're not will only end in disaster, so if you aren't really a nice guy it won't work for you. There are plenty of women who enjoy self-centered assholes and guidos for whatever fucked up reason.

[Maes]

Nomad said:

There are plenty of women who enjoy self-centered assholes and guidos for whatever fucked up reason.

IMO that's a byproduct of our society contrasting with the natural order of things encoded into our DNA.

Our descending from apes and generally not being all to dissimilar from animals, resulted in our societies, from prehistoric times to not too far in past (50s-60s for most countries) being organized according to the alpha-beta scheme. Alpha male with the strongest club humps the most females, betas don't get laid at all (or only behind the alphas backs) and that's about it.

Knowing the order of things, females are actively attracted only to strong, alpha or potential alpha males, which are also easily identifiable (physical prowess, assertivity, aggression), because they instinctively seek protection and safety. This mechanism is so widespread in all aspects of nature, in all species of animals, and so radicated into our DNA that denying it would be denying our very humanity.

Of course, during historical times, marriage was introduced to regulate sex and guaranee procreation throughout all members of a society -else very few individuals would get laid at all. This led to all kinds of conventions and, as s vestige of the alpha-beta-female trinity, introduced net male/female gender roles: the man works, supports, defends and fucks. The woman gets fucked, makes children, takes care of the household. Nice, clear-cut, well-defined roles. The ability to seduce or less didn't 't enter anywhere into the equation, since marriage was seen as just a phase (and was often arranged for both partners).

But what happens in modern society? On the one hand there's a widespread "liberation" and forced equiparation of the two sexes, on the other hand there's a forced polarization leading to the hyper-sexualization of women as objects and an emasculation of men into spineless "metrosexuals", resulting in a neutered something with no real direction.

Sex is considered a commodity, a service subject to competition and the rules of the free market.

Men are stripped of their traditional roles of pater-familias, they are now supposed to master unspecific "seduction techniques", or else just get cut out of the "meat market". Marriage has stopped being a one-off goal for one's life, for the order of things it served to uphold is disintegrating. None will arrange your marriage for you anymore, and very few would marry out of need for mutual sustainment anymore.

What's worse, there's no more a clear way to assert one's dominance once and for all and claim "alphahood". To whom would you assert it? In what manner? How are women supposed to choose? There's just too much choice: expensive status symbols, specific social circles etc. but many just wander in a grey area.

This confusion also leads to females reverting to seeking primitive, purely physical archetypes of alpha dominance, which explains the jocks, the assholes, the guidos. This choice is impulsive and can't be helped, because it's still hardcoded into our instincts and when everything else is murky, it takes over. Somehow, the "sexual liberation" resulted in reverting to a more primitive societal status, without however a primitive simplicity to match.

Of course very few women would openly admit that, yeah, they'd rather be brutally fucked anyday by a jock, a guido or just about any aggressive brute reeking of masculinity because that's what their gut/uterus tell them, than let a "nice guy" touch them (of course that's posed more diplomatically).

Even when a woman is with an economically powerful man (the alpha equivalent in the modern times), her DNA will still make her seek ripped, younger men, even if that means fucking a hairy hydraulic on the kitchen's floor.

In this battefield with no reference points, YOU, the modern average man must soldier on. A beta amongst betas.

And you, modern woman, confused and disoriented by the sea of grey, hazy mediocrity you see all around you, will degenerate into seeking the lowest form of physical security from those who carry the animalistic vestiges of a pre-cataclysmic past.

Where have we come to, gentlemen?

TL;DR version: Women end up fucking guidos, chavs, assholes and jocks because they revert to a simpler to follow primitive behavior in front of a world that doesn't define clear-cut indicators of manliness anymore, and where traditional values and gender roles are all fucked up.

[Phobus]

Starke Von Oben said:

You find having ordinary conversations with the opposite over-complicated?

Far from it - I just consider ordinary conversations to be a matter of course, rather than something I have to orchestrate in order to get laid.

[Nomad]

Maes said:

TL;DR version: Women end up fucking guidos, chavs, assholes and jocks because they revert to a simpler to follow primitive behavior in front of a world that doesn't define clear-cut indicators of manliness anymore, and where traditional values and gender roles are all fucked up.

Well, yes. This is the "whatever fucked up reason" that I was referring to, but thank you for expanding on it. :D

[printz]

I don't see how hillbillies can be in any way stressed people, so with their blissful stupidity, loud mouths and easy (but rudimentary), carefree lifestyle, they sound like they can be quite good at fucking. That's why I hate them, and it might explain the 'girls want douchebags' thought.

I'm fucking sick of this "alpha" cliche and excuse btw. We're people, not canids. If I see someone talking about it, I discard anything they might say afterwards, because they use the excuse of not being fit for the job.

[Maes]

printz said:

I'm fucking sick of this "alpha" cliche and excuse btw. We're people, not canids. If I see someone talking about it, I discard anything they might say afterwards, because they use the excuse of not being fit for the job.

A little something tells me you didn't carefully read the entirety of my previous post ;-)

Far from using "not being alpha" as an excuse, I argued that women (like men OTAH) live in a fucked up society full of striking contradiction and can't actually tell what's really alpha anymore, so they tend to fall back to the simplest, most animalistic of insticts, and seek physical protection.

To make a very simplistic example: take a balding, scrawny engineer/doctor/lawyer with a good income but shit "pickup skills", and a macho latino plumber that lives in a trailer park, with typical "macho" pickup skills, and a woman that has to choose between the two.

With today's criteria, the former would be the new "alpha" because he can offer her shelter and economic security etc., but he won't appeal to her hormones at all. Even is she hooks up with him though, a little atavistic part of her will scream for her to go wrap her legs around the macho plumber with the musky scent, because the contradiction of a physically and personally unimpressive man, social expectations, peer pressure, and what in other times would be the alpha male will cause her brain to fuck up and revert to its primitive state.

Wanna know what the funny part is? If you pressure a woman enough, she will admit that the attraction the plumber emanates is "irresistible" but that she's forced to suppress it due to education, social norms, or just knowing better. Yet the urge is there. Denying it is like resigning from humanity.