Real Doom Weapons.

[neubejiita]

If there was a real invasion by the forces of Hell on Earth, would you be able to easily fight off Spiderminds and Cybers as well as Barons of hell and Cacos with the existing weapons in your local gun shop or would you have to use something like this:





Is this even a real round? I would use a 40mm Bofors AA gun against a Cyberdemon modified with a sort of belt feed and HE shells.

Anyway, what would you grab from anywhere to fight the forces of evil and get to the Starport?

[Gez]

A tank.

[Mr. Freeze]

The solution is easy:

This



And this



And this



Anything else is unnecessary.

[Megalyth]

I'm too hardcore for guns

Yeah, that might work against imps, but using it on a hell knight would probably just piss it off. Unfortunately, that's all I have available to me right now, aside from a few pocket knives and a hunting knife. In the image it might not look like much, but it's pretty sword-like, really. I also sharpened it to a fine edge. I sliced the end of my thumb off while cleaning it a few months ago. :)

I could always go Quake-style with the nailgun in my garage, although I don't think that would work the same way it does in the videogame world...

Edit @ Mr. Freeze: A friend's dad has a Doom-era Eager Beaver chainsaw. I asked him how much he wanted for it and he wouldn't sell it to me, he said it's the most reliable chainsaw he's ever had. If he only knew...

[Da Spadger]

A projectile-shaped piece of earwax.

[Gez]

Megalyth said:

I could always go Quake-style with the nailgun in my garage, although I don't think that would work the same way it does in the videogame world...

You can say the same thing for a chainsaw. They rely on you applying steady pressure on something that's about homogeneous in its consistency. You don't see many lumberjacks felling trees by hacking and slashing wildly, do you? An enemy is not going to sit still and let you apply steady pressure on it.

Also, chainsaws are extremely frail. The chain is prone to jump out of its rails. The mushy, fleshy stuff carried on by the links will tend to jam the drive mechanism. The weight and cumbersomeness of the tool makes attacking and dodging enemies impractical.

No, if chainsaws were a good idea for a melee weapon, it would be used in actual warfare today. People still fight sometimes in close quarter combat with tools such as a pick or a shovel (sharpen the side edges of a shovel and you've got yourself a poleaxe, this was often used in 14-18 trench warfare BTW), but not with chainsaws or jackhammers.

[GreyGhost]

Heh - I don't fancy my chances trying to sneak up behind someone with a jackhammer. This is more my style-

[Megalyth]

I only wanted the chainsaw for the nostalgia/display, not for any actual demon-slaying (...?).

On a related note, have you ever actually held an Eager Beaver? They can easily be wielded one-handed by any but the most helpless deskbound sissy. So hack and slash away.

This is of course assuming you are crazy enough to attack gigantic demons with a tool made for an unrelated task. Given a choice, I'd take a gun any day.

[Jodwin]

I'd imagine that most of the hellspawn are just resistant to dying rather than being bulletproof; if they were bulletproof instead they'd probably never die from the shotgun, for example. So theoretically any of today's weapons should be able to kill them off, you just need to keep shooting long enough.

Now, you might say that using more powerful weapons would be necessary (so that you could kill them faster), but consider this: Most of the monsters' killing abilities are nothing to write home about with slow and huge projectiles, almost all of them are pretty slow and they are all extremely stupid. So their immense ability of staying alive would only be a balancing factor against our, compared to theirs, immense killing ability. :P

The only monsters that could cause problems are arch-viles and cybers, but unless real world is like a HR wad, they should be in few enough numbers to be very well manageable. ;)

[Super Jamie]

Jodwin said:

I'd imagine that most of the hellspawn are just resistant to dying rather than being bulletproof; if they were bulletproof instead they'd probably never die from the shotgun, for example.

I dunno hey, even a small caliber rifle like a .22 Magnum can leave a huge wound on a tough animal. I once dropped a kangaroo at about 80 metres which had an exit hole in it the size of a dinner plate.

Getting shot is nowhere as easy as it appears in the movies or video games. A bullet drags alot of force behind it which then enters the body via a relatively small hole. This force then knocks over a target and disperses among their soft internal organs causing alot of damage and likely sending the target into shock.

An Imp's leathery hide would offer no resistance against even the smallest rifle round, and I'd think a larger caliber weapon like a .308 or 7.62mm NATO round should be able to knock over a Hell Knight or Baron fairly easily. Americans think these are small rounds, and anything below a .45 is inferior, but this is far from factual.

A shotgun would lay waste to anything living unless it had actual external armor plating like a dinosaur. What shotties lack in accuracy they more than make up for in brute force.

A 40mm weapon would be massive overkill, shells this size are designed to destroy tanks and planes, you'd take entire limbs off with one connecting shot.


I agree that the hellspawn would not be bulletproof in the slightest. The muscle tone evident on Imps, Demons, Hell Knights, and Barons indicates their hide (upper body for Barons anyway) is likely not much thicker than animal skin, ditto for Mancs' fat detail and Arachno's brains. Revenants and Archviles appear to just be raw bone in many places, Lost Souls are just bone. Cacos and Pain Elementals may be the only thing with any sort of scaly armor-like protection.

I find it hard to believe a monster like the Spider Mastermind actually functions. Shoot something in the brain and it stops living pretty fast. The Cyberdemon probably has a thicker outer hide but is still relatively easy pickings due to his exposed abdominal flesh. A large caliber machine gun would cut him in half.

[SulfurOccult]

my personal loadout:

SIG P226 (handgun, chambered in .357)
Siaga-12 w/ 20 round magazines, slug or buckshot loads (12 gauge shotgun)
AK-47C (its the type of AK clone I already own. its basically a Romanian WASR-10 with new US made barrel. 7.62x39 of course)
Mosin Nagant (bolt action rifle, 7.62x54r)

Super Jamie said:

.308 or 7.62mm NATO

.308 is 7.62 NATO. (imperial vs. metric measurements). you probably already knew this, just clarifying for others.

[Mr. Freeze]

Super Jamie said:

What shotties lack in accuracy they more than make up for in brute force.

Have you ever fired a shotgun? Shotguns are very accurate, ususally up to around 50 meters or so before they start coming apart. And that's just for buckshot. A 10-guage slug will be even more powerful and accurate.

[trooper077]

If were gonna take on hell we use everything including









Were Set!

[Super Jamie]

Mr. Freeze said:

Have you ever fired a shotgun? Shotguns are very accurate, ususally up to around 50 meters or so before they start coming apart. And that's just for buckshot. A 10-guage slug will be even more powerful and accurate.

No I haven't, my experience is limited to target pistols and hunting rifles. Skeet shooters with shotguns can be quite accurate so I see where you're coming from. Even so, I'd hope to keep a Hell Knight more than 50 metres away from me in real life :)

[Coopersville]

The RealGuns wads seem to make quick work of demons, so I imagine my only problem would be ammo.

[Ultraboy94]

the UK would be screwed.

there arent any guns.

the most offensive gun you could buy is a rubber-band gun in a novelty shop. and that wont do much.

you'd have to improvise...

[PRIMEVAL]

Some bean burritos and double decker tacos from Taco Bell, and I should be able to gas them.

[wildweasel]

There's a shop not far from where I live that sells all kinds of weapons, though they have inventory that they only keep on display because it would be illegal for them to sell. Notably, I saw 5.7x28mm ammunition and a modified AR-15 chambered for it (which I'm sure would punch straight through the tough skin of those Mancubi and Hell Knights), what I assume was a PK machine gun (likely a smaller-caliber version), and a Saiga 12 shotgun with a drum magazine. Also a Barrett M82A1, but I'm not sure if they actually have ammo for that or if it's just the empty boxes sitting there on display.

But yeah - in the event of a zombie apocalypse or invasion of demons from Hell, that's the first place I'm gonna make my way towards. And I'd grab my dad's .22LR rifle, as awkward as it is to reload (and as often as the ammo turns out to be duds), because it'd at least get me there.

[Creaphis]

trooper077 said:

http://www.army.mil.za/equipment/weaponsystems/infantry/images/grenade%20launcher%20y2%20mk1.jpg

Is that a shoulder-pad doohickey on the top, there? And then, is it on backwards?

[deathbringer]

I don't have a local gun shop, so i'd use bricks and gardening tools.

Given that the doom monsters are fairly stupid, if you "scaled" them into real life they'd still be largely stupid, but people in real life can do various combinations of fluid running, ducking and jumping that just aren't possible in any videogame, so the "gun" monsters would be fairly easy to get up close to and bludgeon, unless there was a lot of them. The other hellspawn mostly have pretty slow-moving fireballs that would easily be dodged. The only real threats would be shotgun guys in big numbers, chaingunners and spide masterminds who would hit you with the law of averages eventually (then again in real life they'd probably have limited ammo... or maybe the spidey can "magically" make more rounds), and cyberdemons who would just demolish your cover as well as you.

[wildweasel]

Creaphis said:

Is that a shoulder-pad doohickey on the top, there? And then, is it on backwards?

I think it's a folding stock, a la SPAS-12. You'd probably flip it backwards to secure it.

[RTC_Marine]

My arsenal would consist of:

Chainsaw (poulan predator, I own one irl :P):

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/02/47/61/03/0002476103368_215X215.jpg

Revolver (Taurus Raging Bull with .500 S&W Magnum cartridges)

Shotgun (AA-12 Automatic Shotgun):

http://www.defensereview.com/stories/aa-12/U.S.%20Marine%20Firing%20AA-12%20Full-Auto%20Shotgun%20(AA12%20Machine%20Shotgun).jpg With Frag-12 explosive rounds: http://www.defensereview.com/stories/aa-12/FRAG-12%20Projectile_1.jpg if I could find them

A General Electric m134 minigun

And a FGM-148 Javelin: http://www.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/ORD_ATGM_Javelin_Launch_Immediate_lg.jpg

[Ninjalah]

trooper077 said:

If were gonna take on hell we use everything including
[Pics of very familiar guns]

Were Set!

Whoa, this isn't Grenade of Grenade: Modern Grenade 2 here buddy. [/horriblejoke]

Hmm... do I have the choice of killing myself, going to hell, then respawning as a baron or something since they have unlimited respawns?

[40oz]

I'm pretty sure if I trained myself for speed and endurance to triathlon-running quality, using just a chainsaw and sawed off shotgun alone, I should be set.

[Ninjalah]

40oz said:

I'm pretty sure if I trained myself for speed and endurance to triathlon-running quality, using just a chainsaw and sawed off shotgun alone, I should be set.

Just watch out for stair ice out there.

[Fletcher`]

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Rocket_Propelled_Chainsaw

[SulfurOccult]

rf` said:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Rocket_Propelled_Chainsaw

ITS OVER HELL IS FINISHED

[Snarboo]

rf` said:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Rocket_Propelled_Chainsaw

One of Xaser's old weapon mods had a weapon exactly like this. :p

[Jello]

I would go with an FAL, Mossberg 500 (yeah, only six rounds, but they're pretty accurate for a shotgun and very reliable), Kimber .45 ACP, and a machete. If you can't take something down with one of those, you aren't taking it down. The added advantage is that .308, .45 and 12ga shells are pretty common if you need to raid a house. And where I live, I'm sure every other house would have some ammunition. A Barrett M82 would be handy for Cyberdemons or Spidermasterminds, but I don't think I've ever seen any .50 Browning rounds in any gun stores around here.

[Maes]

Nitro Express rifles would probably come in handy vs the big baddies.