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Mr. Freeze

Work stories

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Yesterday, I had a massive argument with the most thick-headed dumbass ever. This lady was under the impression that her Shaws card could save money off gas instead of cash back. For those not in the know, Shaws (local supermarket) does a promotion with us (Gulf): buy such-and-such stuff at Shaws, receive cash back the next time you pump gas at our station.

She thought different, and argued with me for HALF-A-FUCKING-HOUR about how I was horribly wrong and the Shaws people would never lie to her. But that's not the funniest part...

...That came when she went outside to pump her gas. The Shaws card can only be used once per day, but this lady thought different: she attempted to use on TWO transactions. Again, a huge argument started. It also probably didn't help that I burst out laughing when she came back in to get more money back. Said argument got really heated really fast and was only ended when my co-worker literally told her to fuck off.

Oh, and she paid me with $20 in QUARTERS. If you count cash drawers, you know that gets old fast.

Your turn. Where do you work and what kind of dumbasses do you put up with?

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A have a million stories about an idiot I used to work with, but I'm lazy and will only summarize a few. First, I'll point out I used to work in a large call centre type of building...

- He sang "In My Country There Is Problem" in its entirety aloud at his desk one time. He's never watched Da Ali G Show, and takes the song literally.

- Snorted coke in the staff washrooms, leaving obvious amounts of residue on the toilet paper dispenser.

- Ate fistfuls of Chicklets and would take 90 minute long dumps during his shift.

- Tried to snort blow off of a dirty 2x4 outside in the middle of a wind storm. You can imagine how well that turned out. This is because my friend wouldn't let him do it in his apartment. He could have chose not to tell him and do it in his bathroom; he could have went to his car and did it; he could have probably done a few other things, but he actually chose to do it outside during a wind storm.

- He neglected to pick up his 13-year-old daughter from Soccer practice for three hours because he was making a coke deal.

- He ate fistfuls of random prescription pills while on the job. He had no idea what they did, and neither did we.

- He lived with his mom. She took his cheques and gave it back to him in $10 weekly allowances. I'm not sure how he afforded all the drugs.

Me and my group of friends all agree he is THE least intelligent person we've ever met. He was finally fired because he threatened to beat up a 17-year-old co-worker who pointed out cocaine residue under his nostril one day right in front of our entire team, and our supervisor. This man was in his mid 30's, by the way.

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Oh lord, I have so many stories...but I`m lazy so I wont share more than one right now:

A couple of days ago, I had just arrived at work and my colleague called me right away. There was this insane, fat and ugly woman laying on the floor, twisting and shouting how much she loved my colleague and wanted to have a child with him, get married and what not...but he had never seen her before. Obviously she was crazy.

He tried to be kind to her, but said he didnt want kids or get married to her, and then she went TOTALLY crazy. She screamed her fucking lungs out and ran around in the hallways like a fucking bull with adrenaline OD. We tried to catch her and calm her down, but she slipped away and ran out into the park. There she stripped NAKED (YUUUCK!!!) and started to pee all over the grass, still screaming, running and tearing her hair off...wtf? We didnt want to get piss and all sorts of shit on us so we called the police who took care of the rest.

Fuck. I need a raise.

oh and btw: I work in the security department at a hospital.

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Coopersville said:

He neglected to pick up his 13-year-old daughter from Soccer practice for three hours because he was making a coke deal.


I don't mind people fucking up their own lives, but to think this kind of person would have children whose lives he could fuck up as well...that is really sad to think about.

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Mr. Freeze said:

Oh, and she paid me with $20 in QUARTERS. If you count cash drawers, you know that gets old fast.


I once had to deal with a lady who insisted on paying her total of 7.42 entirely in nickels and dimes.

darkreaver said:

Oh lord, I have so many stories...


Holy shit tell us some more

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You know, one of the things that convinces me I'm on the right track with my career is that so far, I haven't had many real work-related horror stories. I mean yeah, I work in education, and students can be incredibly frustrating at times, but I dunno... The highs to me are so much higher than the lows. Actually, I think my real problems will come in as I rise through the ranks and have to deal more and more with the bureaucracy inherent to education.

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One day while working at a 24-hour deli/greek restaurant, this man who I thought was the health department guy came in and invited himself in the back. He had a clipboard, frantically writing things down as he "inspected" them. 3 minutes later, the real health inspector walks in with an electronic device instead of a clipboard. Suddenly, Mr. fake inspector starts to panic. he immediately grabbed a basket hot off the fryer, of chicken fingers and tried to run until he ran right into Al, my boss and the restaurant owner. He's a huge greek sonuvabitch that just happens to be a former wrestler, security guard and, the nicest guy ever-- -if you're on his good side. Al literally threw this man out. with his hands. Everyone was cheering Al on as he threw that lowlife out. Turns out this guy had stolen over $5000 in cash raiding cash registers while "inspecting" (he'd go for the drive thru ones that sometimes aren't used).

Best part? an officer was eating there at the time. After Al threw the bastard, he walked out and arrested that dude as he was lying on the ground with a broken rib. Dipshit deserved it.

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GhostlyDeath said:

Work sucks, that the only real story.

Especially when mommy will always let you live in her basement and eat as many cheetos as you want.

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Walmart. That tells you everything.

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My current boss fails at everything. His attitude to all aspects of his life is to not plan and just think "she'll be right". He'll jump thru hoops to save $10 sometimes, then makes mistakes which cost him hundreds. I have a bunch written down but here are some of the best:

- bought a cheap server off ebay which took 3 months to arrive. when he queried the freight company, they lost it for a week then he found it had never left the original depot due to poor weather conditions preventing the freight boat leaving. meanwhile i had bought books from america which arrived in 10 days, and had my own cheap ebay server shipped across the country in 4 days

- couldn't find his usb internet dongle, blamed us for stealing it. got home that day and found he'd left it on the kitchen bench. went to use the internet and found he'd left the usb cable for it at work. no internet for him that night

- got a parking ticket at 10am, left it on the car under the belief that he wouldn't get ticketed twice. went out at 5pm and found two more tickets on the windscreen. he then forgot to pay them and they doubled in price

- took several afternoons off work and waited for a total of 4.5 hours to get some documents signed by a justice of the peace in our work suburb who was unreliable and unavailable. i took the train one stop to the city and walked a few blocks to get my stuff signed at the big court which has a counter full of JPs at all times. my total round trip time was 45 minutes

- i bought a modded xbox and stuck a hard drive in it and got the dash setup all cool. he decided he wanted to do this, so he put the autoinstaller into his xbox and blew away his softmod so nothing worked. he bought a mod chip and a cheap soldering iron because he wasn't paying $180 to have some professional install the chip for him. i told him the correct bios to put on the chip. he found the soldering iron was too crap for the small pins so he bought a $200 solder station. chip in, he finds a forum post from 2003 about bioses, puts the wrong bios on and fries the chip. buys another chip, solders it in quickly to check my correct bios which works, then fixes the soldering and fucks the motherboard due to soldering on it too much. buys a new xbox, puts that chip in it and finally gets it all working properly. all up he spent $480 to save $180

- he was living close to work so used to drive in all the time. the parking inspector would always chalk his tyres in the 2 hour parking, so he'd move and one of our other workmates would always take his parking space with his leftover time. she must have gotten HOURS of free parking off him. he finally moved house somewhere where he no longer drove in, the chick who had been stealing his parking spots goes "hey you know how your tyres always got chalked?" and pulls a massive fat bar of chalk out of her desk. owned

- those two have a bit of a rivalry. once she set his mobile phone to be the sms number for a certain client's emergency contact. that client happened to be doing disaster testing at 3am that week. needless to say he didn't get much sleep for a few nights


I also used to do IT for a mining company which was extremely strict on safety, because it's actually a dangerous profession. Their main site has not had a single year of operation without a death. Anyway this new chick starts, and she's the sort of kinda could-be-hot-if-she-wasn't-chubby chick who thinks she's all that and has something to prove. On her first visit to the company's main site she is sent on a flight back home within 24 hours and banned from ever returning. Apparently she missed the "no sexual intercourse on work site" rule.

That rule was actually made because one of the previous IT staff used to bring his missus to the airconditioned server room and fuck her, one day they knocked the power out of something important and didn't notice until someone else looked at the security cameras and gave him a phonecall.


I worked for an ISP with a 24 hour helpdesk but they were small so they only had one guy on for the graveyard shift. His helpdesk system stats were really terrible and he claimed he was just really busy. One day he came to work and said he'd lost his wallet. Our boss says "You mean this wallet which we found between the cushions of the couch you've been sleeping on every night? Get out". The helpdesk closed at the end of the supervisor shift at 10pm from that day on.

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geekmarine said:

You know, one of the things that convinces me I'm on the right track with my career is that so far, I haven't had many real work-related horror stories. I mean yeah, I work in education, and students can be incredibly frustrating at times, but I dunno... The highs to me are so much higher than the lows. Actually, I think my real problems will come in as I rise through the ranks and have to deal more and more with the bureaucracy inherent to education.


I've never worked in education, but I do have a nice education-bureaucracy fail story:

I worked at Dell doing paid tech support (specifically this: delloncall.com). One of the things we did lots of was remove viruses. So one day this guy calls me, from the Maryland State Dept. of Education no less, and explains how they're going to sue us because we're extorting them!

It seems they had sat down in a meeting and determined we were putting porn and viruses onto school computers so we could force them to pay us to fix the issue. He found it impossible to believe either elementary students or staff would ever look up anything that would cause this to happen! Then he proceeded to inform me he was going to have an injunction filed in the state to stop us from selling anything at all.

The hardest part throughout all this was keeping myself from laughing my ass off. Anyway, he backed down and opted for the free factor restore from hardware support when told him I wasn't going to do a thing for him either way unless he both paid and quit the lawyer talk.

This is why kids in America can't get an education. The people running the show are stupider than the stupid kids! It's also interesting how many government employees have stupid conspiracy theories. He was far from the only one, but he was the most hilarious.

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Super Jamie said:

My current boss fails at everything... He'll jump thru hoops to save $10 sometimes, then makes mistakes which cost him hundreds.

Reminds me of one of my previous employers. He tended to penny-pinch on IT, consumables and stationery (the stuff we needed to get the job done) while spending lavishly on company cars which were rarely used during business hours.

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Work is pretty boring for me aside from the managers being complete morons. One of them knocked up one of the bartenders then fired her. They were both married. That was fucked up.

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GreyGhost said:

Reminds me of one of my previous employers. He tended to penny-pinch on IT, consumables and stationery (the stuff we needed to get the job done) while spending lavishly on company cars which were rarely used during business hours.


Sounds just like the typical Greek public employee in a supervisor position - an attitude we're now paying dearly.

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I work in a large call centre. Plenty of retards working there. Had a customer call up today, who had already spoken to someone from Sales, to ask about the documents for his new car insurance policy which he says he had already paid for. Oddly enough he already has a policy for that vehicle and so shouldn't have a second one. He gives me the policy number that the guy from sales had given to him, it brings up a completely different customer with a different name. I can't find any reference under his own customer details that he's paid for a second policy. Seems the idiot in Sales has set up a policy for the wrong customer using the other customer's details, even though he shouldn't have had a second policy to begin with.

And that's just today.

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Can't say I haven't been through dumbasses
... Mostly because I was the "the" dumb ass

When my boss fell asleep once in my old job (he is a heavy sleeper) I drew a villein mustasch on him with eyebrows like The rock in the Doom wold banner ... with a magic marker =p

I lost my job one week later.

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DooMAD said:

spoken to someone from Sales

Most sales staff are clueless morons with charisma. Barely a week goes by when a job to set something up rolls across my desk which is either technically impossible or is possible but is a product which we don't actually sell.

I remember once, one of these went back and forth for a week of polite "we really can't do this" and "well we've sold it" before I got fed up and sent an all-caps email in red size 96 saying it should have never been sold in the first place. That got some management attention and because I was correct, the problem then got solved in a matter of minutes.

Sales, FFFUUU-

Ahcruna said:

I drew a villein mustasch on him

That is awesome!

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Yup. Damn sales people. They make the world suck. They ought to pay more taxes just because they're a drain on society.

We had that problem at Dell. Sales people would sell support contracts for things that just didn't need one or things that were impossible...

[customer]: I bought this contract because my computer says "error code 7" and the sales guy said you could fix the virus that causes that.
[me]: *banging head on monitor* Error code 7 is a hard-drive failure message. You need to speak with warranty support about getting that fixed. Then you need to get the contract refunded unless you want to do something we can do here.

Dell's solution? Enable us to sell contracts! Now techs were trained (for five days) in selling things. Seems like an ok idea, except that despite promises otherwise, the sales pressure immediately followed. People don't like pushy salesmen and I don't want to be one! My stats on selling always sucked enough that even one customer refund would get me dragged into an office for a talk. Ugh. There were also cases of things like customers paying $130 because after ten hours of working with techs I was the one who figured out the volume control was set wrong. Oddly enough, those never resulted in refunds. :/

Yeah, salespeople suck.

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Haha, some good stuff in this thread! I'm redundant cos of the credit crunch (or maybe they just didn't like me) so I get to spend the day with the biggest nobhead on the planet, aka myself.

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Also had a customer call in the other week to inform us that he dialled our number incorrectly and accidentally phoned Vietnam and got charged long distance. Perplexed, I asked if there was anything I could help him with, but he said he just wanted to "let us know" that if people dial the number wrong they might get put through to another country.

Riiiiiiiiiiight.

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LOL I can't even figure out how you could get a phone number that wrong. In North America there are very few cases where dialing a number of the same length can connect you to a different country. I don't think Vietnam is on that list.

We had Dell customers report they got a phone sex line when they used the Microsoft number we got from their support site. We never did figure that out. It was a toll-free number as far as we could tell.

Then there are the unlucky fools who call a company for support and get redirected to another company. One guy appeared on the line one day and rattled off his social-security number. Turned out he called his insurance company because he couldn't log into their website. The agent transferred him to the "technical support" number, but she obviously got the support number for the company's workstations. lol

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On my last day of working for Spirit Halloween (a costume superstore that is open for only a few months a year), we had shipped back all of the salable merchandise to the corporate warehouse. What was left was all the stuff that had remained unsold for several years in a row, and damaged merchandise that could not be sold. Well, apparently company policy regarding merchandise that can't be sold is to destroy it and lob it in the dumpster out back.

That's about when my destructive urges came into play. The manager happened to find a sledgehammer in the back, as well as a pair of wirecutters(?). The targets were a small pile of broken Batman head treat baskets (yes, children can carry around severed Batman heads to put their candy in!), some Leg Avenue costumes with rips in them (likely from the women that were too big to be trying them on), and a Freddy Kreuger statue that was way, way too sensitive and kept yelling at people from halfway across the store ("FREDDY'S GOT A TREAT FOR YA!" "Shut the hell up!"). The Batman heads proved to be no obstruction at all as the manager stabbed them in the face with the wirecutters (which I never would have thought would do much damage - wonder what kind of background he's got), the Leg Avenue outfits were unceremoniously torn to bits, until finally Freddy was the only thing left. The sledgehammer came into play here, shattering Freddy's plastic head and revealing only some small circuit boards, a bit of wiring, maybe a couple broken servos, and the speaker in his mouth that was the source of so much strife.

Freddy met the dumpster that night. But somehow, I suspect that wouldn't have killed him. Fucker's still out there somewhere...and still making movies. Augh.

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just caught a burglar. He was trapped inside a freezer. An ultra-freezer, that is! It goes down to -80 degrees celcius. Hahahaha!

Ok, the story is: we saw him entering the building on the surveillance cams, so we rushed over there, and started to search the basement. Suddenly we hear muffled screams of help! Apparently he had heard us coming and found the nearest hiding place; inside a fucking freezer.

People...*shakes head*

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I once used to work as a cashier at a hardware store not too far from my house. I worked for two weeks non-stop to help support myself for the next semester of college and fortunately the company was happy to hire me on. I got some basic training and was put on the job for that time.

The staff that work there are some pretty awesome people, so it came as no surprise to me when the guy I befriended at the customer service counter would make calls to my station just to mess around. This basically works by him picking up the phone and dialing the station number (in this case, 06). So one day he calls me and he starts hassling me in a joking way. Before I could respond, he hung up so I tried to call him back. The customer service station is dialed as 02, so I went ahead and called. His friend was at the station with him, so instead he picked up and informed me that customer service was dialed as 08. So I went ahead and did that. As soon as the line picked up, I immediately quoted Russel Peters (Start from 2:31, the quote is at 2:50) and said "Somebody gonna get a hurt reeaaaal baaaad" (complete with accent)

Turns out that 08 is the speaker system for the entire store. I ended up sending it though all the speakers while the store was busy and all the managers were in the store helping customers. The guys at customer service were cracking the fuck up, while most of the other cashiers chuckled at it. I quickly hung up the phone and waited for the next customer to come over. Luckily the incident wasn't considered anything really bad, so the managers didn't bother trying to figure out who did it, just asking that it doesn't happen again.

Was pretty funny when I look back on it

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WildWeasel said:

Freddy met the dumpster that night.


A shame, Freddy sounds awesome. I would have asked to keep him.

Edit: I don't really have an work stories since I've never worked retail, just industrial type jobs.

Only real story is from the crazies at the food bank I volunteered at. People would get their package of food and just start tasting things right there. They would actually reject packages after opening them because they didn't like the taste. These are people that can't even afford food rejecting things like cookie packages that normally cost quite a bit. They would also leave half-eaten items in the returned packages, gross. It was also depressing to see how much produce grocery stores throw away, Loblaws would give us theirs, but the others just tossed it.

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Had a pretty crazy day the other week.

Doing some work in Northern Azerbaijan, I and the rest of Bravo Team hold out for extraction after interrogating a person of interest. Opposition was substantial. We set charges at Phase Line Alpha and Bravo, which held off the advancing forces until we could get to the extraction point at the top of the hill. Upon reaching the top of the hill we're told that the LZ is "too hot" and that we're going to have to get back down the hill in four minutes or they're going to leave us.

Needless to say, I was killed many times.

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I threw a 17-year-old out of my store last night after he tried to buy cigs. I also worked 11 hours after my co-worker got stuck in traffic on 495.

Fun times.

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