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Hellbent

Explain the photos thread

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Post a picture for other people to come up with a logical explanation that explains the photo. So the photo should be real, absurd and inexplicable. I'll start by posting two different pics.



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Pic #1 looks like it was taken in England, which explains everything.

Pic #2 was taken after a zombie outbreak was thwarted and the world was getting back to normal. See how complacent those police are about that zombie in the far distance; that's why 28 Day/Weeks Later and the remake of Dawn of the Dead use turbo-zombies. Nobody is complacent when there are turbo-zombies. The sewing machine is a wedding present of which the groom is especially pleased, since it means he can now rely on his wife to mend his socks. As for the crashed vehicle, well brides have to make some kind of entrance.

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MajorRawne said:
Pic #2 was taken after a zombie outbreak was thwarted and the world was getting back to normal. See how complacent those police are about that zombie in the far distance; that's why 28 Day/Weeks Later and the remake of Dawn of the Dead use turbo-zombies. Nobody is complacent when there are turbo-zombies. (As for the crashed vehicle, well brides have to arrive in style.) [/B]


That doesn't explain why the dorky-looking college graduate is holding a Cuisinart.

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Steveeo - whoever did that had just been watching Tango and Cash. You know when they escape from prison by wrapping their belts around a power line and using it as a ready-made zip line? Well this genius didn't have a belt and he needed something that would conduct the electricity away from his body, so he used his car.

His car was heavier than Tango and Cash's belts.

The result is fail of a kind that is usually crossed-referenced under E for Epic.

As for the second pic - woman driver. Nuff said.

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Steeveeo said:

The sign is, obviously, not in use.

Viewtiful-Chris said:

Actually, Pic 1 is fairly self-explanatory.

The sign is useless, therefore, not in use.


I don’t think the sign in the first picture can be so easily explained. On the assumption that by 'sign' it refers to itself, then 'sign not in use' says something true if it conveys the putative fact of its not being in use, but if it does so then, obviously, insofar as it coveys this 'fact', it is in use, and as such 'sign not in use' is false. But of course, if it's not in use, then 'sign not in use' is true. So, if it's true, it's false, and if it's false, it's true. This is an instance of the liar paradox (cf. 'This sentence is false').

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Steeveeo said:

Japan.

wrong, paul robertson is australian. and god.

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Viewtiful-Chris said:

That doesn't explain why the dorky-looking college graduate is holding a Cuisinart.

It's a sowing machine.

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I thought it was a sewing machine. Maybe it's a sewing machine that also makes you a cup of tea. Or coffee. What a labour-saver!

Christ how many weird pics!

@ Ichor -

PIC 1: Obviously it's possessed by Slaanesh, and when you read the sign you kneel in front of it and gaze it adoringly, heeding its unspoken commands.

PIC2: I was also going to say "Japan". This may be the only picture ever which has no explanation. Where do you find this stuff?

PIC3: Coming soon: Celebrity Human Cannon-Ball Relay Run, where the only requirement of the celebrities is that no-one has heard of them, at least not for ten years.

PIC 4: Coming soon: the latest British reality gameshow, "Celebrity Burning Testicle Torture", coming to America six months later as "American Burning Testicle Torture".

PIC 5: What can I say, it was the 80s.

PIC 6: I'm sure I saw that as an advert for tampons?

PIC 7: The ultimate space saver in event of a nuclear war, saving us from having to build two olympic-sized swimming pools inside our shelters to store the required fresh water.

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No-one can match my photo explanation skills! I have discovered a major talent at which I outstrip the Doomworlders. You all carry on making your brilliant levels and winning Cacowards. I'll be here, in this thread, explaining the internet's weirdest.

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Well, that's one way of getting out of going on the roller coaster. Burn the fucker down.


Poor homeless guy with a Billy Blaze complex.

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I understood the "This picture cannot be explained" one. I could definitely see where the UPS truck driver was coming from, and how he backed into that river, granted it was very stupid. I didn't know what to say for the sewing machine but a photo being taken of a guy in a tuxedo at a park seems pretty probable.

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1. Fell from the sky
2. Trying to get some air
3. Opportunism
4. I can't really explain this, however maybe it explains the switch to metal coasters :P (obviously not)
5. It's a code-phrase for drugs

EDIT: I see nothing wrong with that last one - cute girl trying to flirt with some bloke who isn't paying attention on the train, right? Happens all the time

Here's mine:

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The classic.


Ichor said:

Fake video game cartridges.


I loved that old game name generator thread. Too bad most of the pics there don't work anymore.

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Ichor said:<Cakedog vs. Presentcat>


I had to phone a friend on this one, actually. I must say, it's much better than my response.

2:21 PM - Steeveeo: explain this and I will: http://i42.tinypic.com/ea4kdh.gif
2:21 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: alright
2:22 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: okay... so.. it all started in the magical land of tikibears and catdogs
2:22 PM - Steeveeo: go on
2:22 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: there were the mountain ranges of cake
2:22 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: and the mountain ranges of presents
2:22 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: what happened was the god of dogs ate the cake
2:22 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: and the god of cats ate the presents
2:23 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: so the god of tikis and the god of bears cursed the god of cats and the god of dogs with a disease
2:23 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: a disease to make the constantly puke
2:23 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: for eternity
2:23 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: and each one of their children
2:23 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: will have the same disease
2:23 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: so
2:23 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: what happened was
2:23 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: the god of cats and the god of dogs got in a fight
2:24 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: hence the bars up top
2:24 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: the :3 face is a judge
2:24 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: but, the fight turned into a contest to see who could puke the most
2:24 PM - [oCi] Catmaster [ADARI]: does that explain it?

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gahhh it's paul robertson's art for crying out loud! go learn some internets /o\
http://probertson.livejournal.com/ (NSFW!)
or just check his animations on youtube. you could say he's repetitive, but his style is gold.

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dew said:

gahhh it's paul robertson's art for crying out loud! go learn some internets /o\
http://probertson.livejournal.com/ (NSFW!)
or just check his animations on youtube. you could say he's repetitive, but his style is gold.


Heck yeah!



Double Heck YEAH!



Wait, what is the MEANiNG!?

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Off topic: Wow, investigating that Paul Robertson artist is bad for your sanity. Also, I found this neat remake by another artist named Persona, EDIT: It looks bad on the dark background because of transparency:

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